The Torn Pages

I DID IT!

2007-02-20T15:10:00.000-08:00

It's all Brad's fault. If you have trouble with my new site, talk to him. :) Just kidding. Better try and talk to me first. Then, as all chain of commands go, I'LL talk to him...! Thank you, Brad for all the hard work and help.

Please change your bookmarks and come see me at my new "home"!

http://thetornpages.com/

I'm so excited! Can't you tell?

For Jen

2007-02-19T07:22:00.000-08:00

No, they aren't socks*. Yes, they're upside down. They're stocking caps for premie babies! My mother gave me the pattern and the information. There is a place you can send them to Africa where the babies are all much smaller than they are here in the U.S.

Or, in my case, I am sending them to the hospital guild for the premies born here. They took such wonderful care of my premie 30-some years ago. It's taken me awhile, but I'd like to repay them in some small way. So, six down and who knows how many to go?

*These are my first attempt at knitting something that isn't square or rectangular.

Season's Change

2007-02-18T16:53:00.000-08:00

Thinking about making a change with the seasons. Might be switching away from Blogger. I'll keep all four of you informed.

In other news, something has me so pissed off right now I can't talk about it. Soon. I promise.

This 'n That

2007-02-13T01:45:00.000-08:00

I have been one busy lady. Don't believe me? Ask Hubs. He's got the garbage to prove it.

My home office is still organized and wonderful. Trust me. To be able to say that a week or so after having completed the project is truly a miracle. I'm trying very hard not to slide back into my old habits. So far, so good.

The "bonus room", as the builders and construction plans all call it, has finally reached the point where it can be used! This is the large room that is over the garage that is designed, in our case, for storage and for my crafts (craps, as Hubs calls it). I think I've mentioned this a time or two, but I have waaaay too many interests. Besides being an avid reader (can you say, about 3 books a week?) I also am "into" computers, WoW video game (World of Warcraft for the uninitiated), rubber stamping (aka scrapbooking, but I'm not that organized), crocheting, knitting, cross-stitching, sewing, painting and uh... oh, yeah, blogging. We've now lived in this new house two-and-a-half years. I am just now getting all the boxes unpacked upstairs and all the craft stuff put back into shelves and bins and drawers and what-nots that make them easily accessible and available for use.

Hubs and I have an agreement. Since we live in the country, we have a dumpster for our garbage. It resides a ways from the house (who would want one right outside?) and we just call our local garbage guys when it needs emptying. My end of the deal is to take the trash out to the garage and line the wall next to where he parks his pickup. His end is to then load up his pickup and take it the rest of the way out to the dumpster. He says he can always tell when I've been cleaning house by the level of garbage he faces when he comes home. Needless to say, it's been quite a bit lately. Have you ever moved? Have you then later been embarrassed to realize all the JUNK that you moved that you then throw away? Oh... okay. Me neither. *blush*

I noticed on Sunday that the neighbor had about 10 pickups in his driveway. Guess that explained all the shooting. I haven't figured out what his thing is yet. He came from out of state (I won't say from where as I've met some really nice people from there and although my state likes to make jokes about this state and it's become quite the rivalry... I'm not going to blame them for one asshat). He has a business in town and sells Carhart brand clothing and who knows what else - I refuse to go into his store, so don't know for sure - have to rely on what Hubs has told me. Because he's from out of state I can't decide if these are all new friends, possibly customers that he's got coming out for some "hunting", or old friends from that other state. (Keep in mind, they aren't actually killing anything that I know of, just clay pigeons.)

I haven't been working at my paid job due to 1) lack of work 2) lack of motivation 3) weather and 4) too much other stuff going on. However, I did go into work on Sunday to box up the external hard drive that I couldn't get to work and the company is shipping back...finally... for credit on a new, brand-name, plug-and-play model. They were set for Monday pick up and the weather was to get pretty nasty so I went in Sunday to get it done. At any rate, I walked in and found my new monitor had arrived! Yippee! So, managed to get it all hooked up and the old one ready for recycling - as well as dusted. Yeah, did I mention I'm the maid? Just kidding. We all keep our own space clean, tho' and the guy I share space with and I have an agreement - I'll dust if he'll vacuum. Got that chore done for the month!

Last, but not least, the weather. It's yucky, but not as bad as they were saying earlier in the week. It is right now snowing and blowing pretty bad - but they're saying we're only to get about 5". Earlier they thought about 9". It seems Missouri is getting thunderstorms and the moisture they've been getting took all of the extra moisture out of the snow, so not so much now. Doesn't hurt my feelings. At least we aren't like the people out east facing 100+ inches. That's just nuts. Any time you have to go up on your roof to shovel, it's not a good thing. Yeah, yeah, I know... I'm the one who has been asking for it. Moderation, people!

There you have it! So, what's been going on in your world? What's that you say? I have to go read your blogs? I thought you were going to say that.

BANG! BANG!

2007-02-10T06:35:00.000-08:00

That's how I was awakened this morning by the neighborhood gun nut. I can't believe this guy... even he's reached a new low (pun intended). The temperature is -5 (without counting the windchill). He's out there, shooting away ... at ... who knows? I knew he was an Asshat, I just didn't know how big of an asshat he was!

Tic Toc

2007-02-09T09:04:00.000-08:00

That's about all that's going on around here. Clock-watching. Waiting. I hate waiting. How about you? I used to be more patient. I don't think it was in my youth... oh, maybe it was. I didn't mind so much waiting in lines or waiting for things to happen. Do you suppose that it all ties in with the older we get the less time we feel we have and the less we want to waste it on a line somewhere?

*Gasp* ... does that mean I'm getting old?

You've GOT to be Kidding Me

2007-02-06T07:39:00.000-08:00

You know how I just got a new computer at home? Well, ignore that for a minute. It's fine and I love it. Remember how I just got a new computer at work? Yeah. Let's talk about it. When the Company I Work For got me the new 'puter, they didn't get me a new monitor. Why? Because I'm half blind and they'd already put out the bucks for a nice, flat panel, 20" monitor and they didn't feel the need to do it again. Not a problem. I thought. Until yesterday.

Go ahead, ask. "What happened yesterday?". Yeah, innocent questioner you. HA. I repeat. HA.

Yesterday morning as I was minding my own business and working away like the busy worker clone that I am, I hear a slight "pop" and then... wait for it... my monitor screen goes blue. Blue? Yes. Not the BLUE SCREEN of DEATH. Nope. This was more like the orange tint your old Polaroid pictures get after 20 years in a cardboard box in the depths of hell known as the attic. Except, instead of having a lovely orange cast, everything was blue. Blue was the new white.

Remembering when I got this monitor new, I realized what must have happened. I remember playing with the settings. (Don't give me that look... you all do it too.) I remember it having a particular feature that you could set the 'lighting' for daytime or night - and then for text, movies or pictures. I distinctly remember the night-time settings as being... blue tinted. Uh-huh. My monitor has gone to the darkside. I tried playing with settings, but to no avail. Nothing would give me back my white whites.

I hooked up a co-worker's monitor, just to be sure it wasn't some setting I'd accidently changed. Nope. With his screen attached I once more had white whites, red reds and green greens. It was all the way it was supposed to be.

I'm home for a day or two. I have a new monitor on it's way. Another 20" flat panel.

Now, if I could just get the damn external hard drive they got me for backups to be recognized by the computer, I'd be set. Technology. I love it. When I don't hate it.

B-Day Wishes

2007-02-05T06:17:00.000-08:00

...go out to Brad! Go wish him a Happy Birthday and tell him Sue sent ya!

If I'm Awake It Must be Monday

2007-02-05T05:51:00.000-08:00

Did everyone survive the Superbowl? Did you all get your wish? Me? I am so not a sports fan...

Daughter had some co-workers over to watch on the big screen. Hubs watched awhile with them, then decided young women yelling loudly was too much for him and came back upstairs. I played some WoW, read a book, watched some re-runs of "The Closer" that TNT was running all day. I bounced back and forth a bit to check the score and occasionally caught an over-priced commercial. All in all, it was a pretty laid back Sunday.

Now it's Monday and I can't figure out why I'm having such a terrible time waking up. It wasn't like I over-did it yesterday. Could it be the -4 degree temperature outside this morning? (I don't even WANT to know what the windchill is. Let's just say, the dogs were outside about 15 seconds this morning. It must be cold.) Amazing as it sounds, and as illogical, it is supposed to snow later today and tomorrow. Only a couple of inches. Normally, this is too cold to snow. I know, it sounds weird, but trust me... that's how it works. Hubs tells me the weather predictors are saying when it warms up a bit in the next week or so, we're supposed to really get dumped on. You just know I'm smilin' inside, right?

In other news, I expect a pat on the back. Okay, I'll do it myself. The office is CLEAN. It is ORGANIZED. It is a miracle. The bookwork? Well, I have a day or so to finish, but I see the end in sight. Also, I cleaned out my pantry cupboards. You may not think this is a big deal, but trust me. I moved cake mixes and jello (to name just a bit) from the old house two years ago, probably never looking at the expiration dates THEN... and, yes, if it expired in 2002 I'm probably not going to be wanting to make it. Shaddup. Soooo... Hubs comes home and immediately states "you've been cleaning". Does he have ESP? No. He knows because we have a little arrangement where as I put garbage sacked up in the garage, then he loads it into his pickup and hauls it down the drive to the dumpster. (We live in the country, remember?) It doesn't take a genius to realize when he gets out of his truck and the whole wall is lined with garbage sacks two deep that there has been some serious cleaning going on in the house. What can I say? I'm a packrat. I admit it. However, once in a blue moon I get a wild hair and start pitching things. I have to be in just the right mood, or I look at something and think "I could do...(fill in the blank) with this." When I'm like that, there is no sense even thinking about cleaning. At least, not the pitching out part. (I would like to take a moment in advance to apologize to my children for whatever they are going to have to sort through and get rid of after their mother leaves this earth. I hope that sometime between now and then I have the energy and the will power to get rid of most ofthis shit.)

Enough rambling. Happy Monday everyone!

You Never Stop Being a Parent

2007-02-03T19:56:00.000-08:00

This isn't going to be a newsflash to anyone who has older children, but to those of you who have babies or toddlers or god-forbid-teenagers or who maybe haven't taken the plunge into parenthood quite yet but are thinking about it - it never ever ends. Not when they become 18, not when they graduate from college, not when they get married, not even when they have children of their own. They are always your babies, in your heart.

A bit of poor communication this week resulted in this being brought home once again in the most gut-wrenching way. A night was spent in worry and frustration as temperatures outside plunged below zero and people weren't where they were thought to be and gravel roads were driven with one eye to the road and the other to the snow-filled ditches. All was well and communication was re-established by ten o'clock the next morning, but this mom didn't get any sleep Thursday night. At all. Those are the times when an over-active imagination and love of all mystery-murder-CSI-type shows came back to bite me in the ass.

It's a fine line to let your children live their lives and yet keep an eye out for their safety and happiness. It's hard to know that they are self-sufficient and yet feel if I were the one in the snow-filled ditch with a dead cell phone and sub-zero temps and only ice covered cornfields between me and civilation, I would hope someone would miss me and come looking.

I've been accused of being over-protective at times. As I've told my children many, many times... "If we didn't love you, we wouldn't care". I know this was just a case of mis-communication. I know it's not going to happen again. Still... it's a sleepless night that will take awhile to get over. You just don't spend sleepless nights with a baby's ear infection or a toddler's bad dreams. You don't only sit up worrying that your teenager is hanging with a bad crowd or that the last time you had a fight there were hidden messages between the lines.

It really never ends. I wouldn't want it to. It's called love.

Maintaining

2007-02-01T05:54:00.000-08:00

For those of you who have been trying to e-mail me and can't get me, I'm not sure what's going on unless you have my old e-mail address (it got changed awhile back, not by anything I did but the company changed hands). Also, I noticed it wasn't in my profile anymore. Don't know when it went away - maybe when I updated Blogger? At any rate, I'm all back and operational again. To save you looking it up, it's sesnyde at hughes dot net. You are smart enough to put it in the right way. (If you aren't I don't want to hear from you anyway!)
About the time I bitch about it being cold, it gets colder. Yeah. This weekend there are days we are supposed to have windchills of -30 something. Needless to say, you won't see me far from the fireplace! It has to warm up a bit to snow...
I'm still working on getting everything loaded into the new 'puter. Does this mean I have too much stuff? Possibly. We won't discuss that. Haven't even tried WoW yet. Afraid it will be too wonderful and I won't get anything else done, and I have a few things I absolutely have to get done first. At least, that's what my tax man says.
The office is almost done getting cleaned and organized. I may even post a picture when I'm done. I ran out of hanging file folders last night, so not quite there. Have to make an office supply run today. I love me some office supplies. The only reason I can figure is when I was little and my parents would go bowling every friday night, I was sent next door to my grandmothers' house. She was a widow and worked in the state auditors' office - as an auditor. Rather ahead of her time for that day and age. At any rate, when she would babysit me, one of the favorite games I played with my grandma was... you guessed it.... "office". So, I figure maybe that's where my love of all supplies office comes from. Proudly, I can say I've passed it down to at least one of my children.
Ironic that the post about the weather gets the most comments I've had for weeks. Hmmm... what does this say about my level of posts?

Oh My Freakin' God...

2007-01-30T06:42:00.000-08:00

...it's COLD! It was -2 degrees on the way to work this morning. Wind chill is -22. Yes, those are both negative numbers. I know, I know, I said I wanted winter. If you recall, I specifically said snow. Not ice, not this frost-bite shit, but snow. C'mon... work with me.

Happy Birthday Wishes!

2007-01-29T05:12:00.000-08:00

Go over and tell Amy to have a Happy B-day! I know I will be...

Updating more later.

Strike Two!

2007-01-25T05:41:00.000-08:00

...and another day has come and gone and the new 'puter is still in the box.

I must add that I'm one step closer, tho'. I think I got Hubs all fixed up, and Son has everything at his house and connected - even if I still have some twinking to do on his as far as setting up the i-net, e-mail and so forth. (Don't give me any grief. Twinking is an accepted technical term.)

Today? Maybe? I may even take tomorrow off from work just to make sure the bonding process is complete. Those of you who get new computers understand that, right?

Unreasonable Expectations

2007-01-24T05:43:00.000-08:00

My hubs has it figured out. We both get frustrated (read grumpy) when we set unreasonable expectations for ourselves. Case in point? My new computer came yesterday afternoon! YIPPEE! Yes, I was doing the happy dance! I left work early to get it set up. Would you believe it is still in the box? Yeah. Why?

Well... in my family, when I get a new computer (it is usually me who gets the new one, however last time it was Hubs) I have enough children and spouse that I just pass my "old" ones down. Usually someone is ready to upgrade, and my "old" one is just that. This doesn't happen without some planning. In this particular instance, Hubs' computer isn't that old, but he likes my monitor better - it's bigger. Therefore, he's getting my old monitor. His printer has been acting up. It works, but you have to finagle the paper a bit and he's not patient when it comes to technology, so I've gotten him a new printer. His old printer, his old monitor, as well as my old computer is going to my youngest son. (Keeping up?)

Since my old computer is going away, I'm cleaning off the hard drive - after backing up all the things I wanted to move to an external hard drive my eldest son loaned me. In theory, this would be easy, however, I haven't yet figured out what asshat decided it would be more cost-effective not to include the operating disks with computers anymore. Instead, they give you links to this and that and if you really, really, really want the disks, they'll send them to you - for a fee. Needless to say, the links to this and that are long-gone and the simple process of restoring my system isn't so simple anymore.

Hence, the unreasonable expectations. I wanted to have all my switching done last night and have my new 'puter up and ready to go. *sigh* Yep. Still in the box. Maybe today...

Dibs and Dabs

2007-01-22T08:39:00.000-08:00

Catching up a bit...

Yes, it snowed. Although "officially" we only got about 5", our deck says otherwise - try about twice that. It's beautiful. Cold, but beautiful.
I'm taking a jammie day. I hadn't intended to, but woke this morning feeling achy and icky and hoping I'm not getting the current cold that's going around. I made an executive decision to stay home and be warm and cozy and medicated and hope it gets killed off before it gets too good a hold on my body. I can hope, right?
My new desktop computer for home is scheduled to be delivered tomorrow! Whoot! I'm so excited. It's going to be powerful enough to play WoW on, and yet... smart enough to get my bookwork all neatly organized. To be fair, I've done pretty well on the laptop, but there is something about paying bills while balancing things on a stupid folding card table just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I want my desktop computer to be functional again - along with the nice big calculator and the better workspace. It just puts me in a better "working" frame of mind. Of course, this means work to get everything switched off of the old one so I can give it to youngest son, plus he's getting Hubs' printer, plus Hubs is then getting my old, bigger monitor and youngest son is getting Hubs' smaller monitor and Hubs has a new printer to connect. I think you're getting the picture. It really shouldn't have to be this much work.
My new desktop computer for home is scheduled to be delivered tomorrow - at work. Need I say more? You know where I will be tomorrow.
I've been doing some crafty things I may not have mentioned. At Christmastime I cross-stitched some bookmarks for some of my dearest friends. I knitted nice long warm scarves for most of the kids (except the ones I knew wouldn't wear 'em). I also re-did a cross-stitch of Noah's Ark for my parents that they lost in their house fire. My mother even cried when she opened it. I was glad I did it. Since Christmas, I've finished crocheting two baby afghans for friends having babies. One was just born and the other isn't due until June, but it's done! I also got into making prayer shawls through a real-life friend. Although I have some cross-stitch wedding samplers to get done for my boys, These shawls are pretty mindless tv-watching type things I can do when I don't want to think too much. I just finished one and have started another. Also picked up some more yarn "just in case" I want to make a couple of other little projects. When it's cold out you can't beat knitting or crocheting on an afghan or shawl. The more you get done the more it keeps you warm as you work on it. Someday I'd like to learn how to do socks, like Jen does. I think they'd be fun. She makes the most beautiful things.
In case you missed it, Helen got engaged! Whoot! I can't imagine someone who deserves as much happiness as she does.
The new World of Warcraft video game expansion "Burning Crusade" is out and is really exciting. I know, I know, I'm too old for this shit. Blame my kids. They got me hooked. I don't play near as much as I used to ... "life" seems to get in the way. However, when I do play I remember why I like to play and how much I miss playing and how much I miss the people I play with.
A friend from blogland got me hooked on the Jim Butcher "Dresden Files" books which just premiered as a show last night on the sci-fi channel. I liked it! I'm normally more mystery and gore than sci-fi, but it worked and I enjoyed seeing how they put together things in the books with things on the show. In my mind it works much better than "Bones" does. I loved the books, but the show just leaves me a bit flat. The character she's made herself out to be (it's based on the real-life of foresic anthropologist and fiction writer Kathy Reichts) isn't quite the same as the one she's portrayed herself in her books. Maybe that's the point, I'm not sure. However, I have a hard time watching and not seeing flashbacks to "Angel" (David Borrenos co-stars) - not sure if I spelled his name right and too lazy to look it up.

I think we're caught up now, for the moment. Feel free to carry on with your regular scheduled activities...

Be Careful What You Wish For

2007-01-17T10:37:00.000-08:00

Y'know how I was wanting it to snow? Yeah. Well... it came, although not as much as I'd hoped for. We only ended up with about 4 inches. But it blew. And it iced up. And my internet satellite is frozen in a cocoon of something-or-other that keeps it from working. Damnit. So... that's why so quiet the past few days. I stayed home. I read. I slept. We finally had our meeting with the banker (and get to farm another year - yippee!). I even ordered a new computer for home (over the telephone).

I've missed the "outside" world of the internet more than I thought I would.

Of course, I came back to work to a pile of stuff a foot high and a list of calls to return a mile long. This is supposed to be the sloooow time. The time I can be gone and no one misses me! Guess I'll have to hold out for February.

An Extended Pause

2007-01-14T02:08:00.000-08:00

(Sit down. Get comfy. This is gonna be a long one.)

I've noticed something in the past couple of years I've been doing this "blog-thang". There seems to be a natural ebb and flow to the collective creativity. Even people who blog with an almost 100 percent productivity rate, that is to say daily, have days when they resort to memes or a pictorial or a one-line blurb about how they are sucking stones trying to get the creative juices flowing again.

Then there are the burn-outs. People who have lost the feeling and just can't seem to get it back. They write with such an outpouring of emotion that when the end comes it comes with an empathetic thud. One such person that comes to mind is Darrell. Such a prolific poster he filled day after day with sharp observations and thought-provoking images, only to stop abruptly... now only a trickle of words trip across his blog. The "mad murmurer" has become the "shy whisperer".

Most people give notice they are leaving the blogosphere. We get a short paragraph stating they are "taking a break", "burnt out", occasionally "we are getting out while we can" or "found" by some "real world" people they would just as soon not have peeking into their minds. My own child can be held as example. My eldest had a lovely little blog that several of you visited - but because of some actions by a "real world" former high school classmate it made her uncomfortable and she decided she'd rather just read 'em than write 'em. I miss some of the insights I got into my own daughter's life, but acknowledge her right not to share.

That brings me to the drop outs. The ones who just stop and fall out of sight. They appear to be going along on a normal course of day-to-day living and sharing said life with us when one day - they don't. Ever again. Leaving us asking "where are you?" "are you okay?" "is everything allright?" in comment sections and possibly even in e-mails. Mr_g comes to mind. He had a pretty prolific blog which increasingly became disturbed as he realized his wife was having an affair. It continued on until he became paranoid that she (and her lawyer) had found his blog wherein he created a new site and continued to let us faithful readers know how he was doing embarking on his new role as 'single guy'. Oddly enough, his last post was about him getting "visitation" with his dogs. This begs the question, "What happened?!?!" No reponse to e-mails or comments for months. Did his ex kill him and bury the body? Did the dogs eat him? Did the lawyers find him again and he felt the need to "get out of town" cyber-speaking?

I have a valid reason to ask. A few months ago I had a comment from a new person and being the perfect blog hostess I immediately went to visit and say thanks for coming by. Oh, who am I kidding? The truth is, I didn't notice this person had commmented on an older post so it was a couple of months before I contacted them. Trust me... I learned my lesson. As I am prone to do, I went to their blog and started at the beginning. I like to do that. Go deep into the archives and read chronologically, getting to know the person before I commit myself to opening the door of blog friendship. His blog went back a couple of years and in reading it I found him to be well-written, funny, warm and sensitive. In other words, someone I would like to keep reading. Abruptly, a month after he'd posted on my site, his stopped. I searched frantically to see if there was a clue to why. None. He'd talked about only good things happening in his life and I couldn't see there was a cause to leave, unless, like some of the rest of us, a busy life just got in the way. In reading over the last comments I started to be alarmed when I started seeing "he'll be missed" showing up. Stepping bravely into the unknown, I sent a couple of e-mails out to some regular commentors who appeared to know this person in real life. Bless their hearts, they responded. He'd had cancer (which he had never once indicated on his blog) and had died while being operated on for it's removal. I was stunned. Speechless. Someone that to me I'd just "met" was gone before I even had the chance to thank him for his kinds words on my site. Needless to say, I'm a little quicker on the responses now.

So, what do you find in your blog life? (Don't kid yourself - it is a whole 'nother life out here in the blogosphere. We have friends we've never met who we become attached to and for whatever reason have bonded over words. Just words.) Have you, too, had experience with people dropping out of sight and wondering "what happened?". Have you been that person who took an extended break and came back only to find the blogosphere had moved on without you? Am I putting too much thought into this?

...maybe I just need more sleep.

The Only One?

2007-01-12T08:55:00.000-08:00

Am I the only one who didn't figure out it was de-lurker week? C'mon... give me some love...

If You See My Post, Send It Back

2007-01-12T08:41:00.000-08:00

I think Michael has the right idea. I need a mind recorder. I swear I was laying (lying?) in bed last night with the best post running through my head. Do you think this morning I can even remember the topic? Hell no. So, instead you get me rambling about how I can't remember my post.

I think I'm one of those people the real writers complain about.

Feelin' Mighty Cocky

2007-01-11T08:49:00.000-08:00

Yes, you heard me right. I'm feelin' might cocky right now. Remember Monday? Yeah, right down there, below this post. I was bemoaning the fact we had no snow in the forecast. Mwhaa haa haa.

We are expecting snow. Big-time. Soon.

Rain starting today, turning colder tomorrow, to ice, then to snow on Saturday afternoon and a chance of HEAVY snow on Sunday and Monday. 6-12 inches. Blowing. Cold. You know, winter!

Some of you know what this means. Grumpy Bunny (not blogging at the moment), Miss Sizzle, and possibly one or two others of you... it means... jammie days are coming! Whoot!

I need to go buy a lottery ticket. Who knew I could be so powerful?

Putting Away the Christmas Decorations

2007-01-08T09:23:00.000-08:00

Okay, to be honest, they're still up at home. I decided I needed to put them away here in blog-land, however, so ta-da! Here we are fresh and new in our winter coat. Unfortunately, it is drab and grey and brown here in Iowa. I know, I shouldn't complain. Hubs keeps telling me he's happy not to have to fight the snow. I know in my mind it is safer for driving and walking and general well-being not to have a foot of snow on the ground (let alone ice). Me? I'm ready for a good two-feet of blizzard where I can snuggle up next to my fireplace with a bunch of warm-blooded critters and just veg. Not much hope of it in the forecast. Darn.

Do You Hear That?

2007-01-06T06:50:00.000-08:00

That, my friends, is the sound of silence in my office. There is no cussing or throwing things or stomping of feet... because... my computer appears to be working this morning! Whoot! Okay, now everyone knock on wood. Seriously.

What's Next?

2007-01-05T07:27:00.000-08:00

Would you please look me over? Check my back... is there a target painted there I didn't get washed off when I showered? Is there a black cloud over my head? Is "666" on my forehead? Something has to be saying it's my turn...

I get to work this morning and my brand new wireless keyboard and mouse don't work. At all. For some reason, Bluetooth thinks my license has expired? After an hour trying to get a "wired" keyboard and mouse to hook up (who knew the new computers all had wireless or USB connections and don't even come with the old keyboard connectors?) I finally was able to access my computer to download a new driver which (computer provider to remain nameless) swears will fix this problem that they've never seen before. Egads! I'm a lab rat!

What Year Is It?

2007-01-04T05:12:00.000-08:00

Andy posed a good question in the comments of my last post. "What year is it in Iowa?"... I'll tell ya, at this point I'm not even sure. I just had to look to see what day it was. After working my buns off (don't I wish...they're no smaller - shaddup) trying to get my new work computer filled back up with data and programs (can you say, 14 hour days?) I was greeted yesterday morning to a black startup screen.

Black? YES.

Now, I know just enough about computers to be dangerous. I may experiment with various things on my personal computer if things go wrong, but the work computer? Nope. I turn chicken and go right to the office tech support people. I was able to get myself into "safe" mode. At that point the tech people wanted me to do a "restore". Well, gee... the most recent restore point was last Friday morning at 8 a.m. Against the rumblings of my gut, I ran it. It made no difference, except, of course, (you see this one coming) all the data that I'd entered in since then was gone. I'd be terribly surprised if you didn't hear the cussing several states away. Did it fix anything. No. I was so brave. I didn't even cry.

Now the tech support people had me run "spybot" and "ad-aware" and to defrag my hard drive. Spybot wanted some update that it couldn't get, so it wouldn't run. Ad-aware found 5 bland cookies, and I spent 2 hours running defrag.

Did it work? Yes. Why? No clue.

Now I call tech support to see if they can tell me why, as I do not want this to happen again. They have no clue. They say, "just keep re-booting periodically to make sure it's working". Helpful, aren't they? They tell me to call the tech support people for the major GPS software program I use (which was basically all I'd been using for day before, trying to restore and re-run previous data). That tech support person suggested I may have a lemon. He thinks I may have an unstable hard drive and/or something wrong with the motherboard and gee... I should contact my computer manufacterer to see if they can run some diagnostics.

I call the computer company. (I'm not naming names as they have always been good to me... and until it has been proven to me that it's junk, I'm not bad-mouthing them. They are not the same company as the computer that failed.) The computer tech support person (he spoke ENGLISH! Whoot!) tells me there is a 'fix' in Norton anti-virus version 10 and proceeds to have me change one setting and re-boot. He tells me this is going to take care of it. Huh. You mean, I could have avoided doing a "restore" and losing all my data?

I, and my company tech support people, are skeptical. However, my computer booted up this morning as though nothing was wrong (after spending all yesterday once more loading data back into my program).

One day soon, I hope, I may be back in the world of "normal" people. You know... the ones who work 8 hour days with a lunch break and who get to go home at 5 o'clock to see the people they love and cook supper and watch TV and play WoW and read friends' blogs... oh, yeah... that's called a LIFE, right? I vaguely remember. Keep your fingers crossed.

2006-12-31T22:01:00.000-08:00

Ready?

2006-12-23T15:15:00.000-08:00

It's almost here! The day children all over have been anticipating. I think I'm just about ready...

I spent all day yesterday in my car. Hubs bought a new (used) semi-tractor from a guy in western Minnesota and we spent hours getting there to pick it up. He's tickeled that it's how he remembers it when he went to look at it about a week and a half ago, and he's not going to do much of anything to it (yeah. I'm not holding my breath.) but putting the license plate on and driving it. He's got a bunch of grain to deliver next week and he'll be getting it "broken in" pretty quickly. I think he's already bonded with it - at least that's what he kept telling me all the way home.

Today was "getting ready for company". Doing the usual weekend things like laundry, and cleaning, but with that little extra emphasis on trying to make it "company presentable". Okay, who am I kidding... I'm trying to make it "mother-in-law" and "parental unit" presentable. The kids are all coming for Christmas day, too, but I wouldn't do this much for them. I also finished wrapping gifts. I think... I really think... I'm done. Whoot!

Tomorrow I have a couple of cooking things to take care of, but other than that I'm set. We'll be having Christmas Eve at MIL's, which is okay, except we have to spend time with my brother-in-law and his family. You remember them, "The Boys". Yeah. Is it any wonder that my kids all found "prior committments" to attend? I should be so lucky...

Sunday should get off to a calm start. Because my eldest son is going to be out of town to his fiance's parents until Christmas morning, I said we'd push dinner from 1 o'clock to 3 o'clock, so they didn't have to rush so much coming back. This will be new and different for us, and I'm not sure we all know how to act. I'm thinking there will be present opening all day long as each batch of "kids" and their significant others trickle in. Then again, I could be wrong and they may all want to wait until the last ones come. With my kids you never can tell.

In case I don't make it back on here in the next couple of days, I just want to take the time to wish each and every one of you a peaceful and pleasant holiday... and to all of you who have sent me cards, I LOVE them, thank you. To those of you I didn't have addresses to write you back - well, I still LOVE them and I'm sorry I didn't get one out to you. Be assured you are on my list for next year. Giant hugs to you all!

It's Been a Rough Couple of Days

2006-12-20T19:02:00.000-08:00

Oh, yeah. It's been fun. Trim the tree and singing carols kinds of fun. NOT. Monday was such a good day... followed by the first days of hell as we know it. I go to work and see a co-worker left my computer on all night. Not that big a deal. Until I go to re-boot my computer and I receive the black screen of death. The one that tells me to pick an option. You know, the list starting with "Safe Mode". What a joke. Like there is anything safe about what we're about to do.

Needless to say, "Safe" mode wasn't an option. It didn't like that or any other option on the list. It just kept re-booting. Over and over and over. The operating disks that came with my system had exceptionally scary options on it, too. Options like "formatting the hard drive". Not a happy thought when my most recent backup was a month ago. I know, I know...don't lecture me. Be glad it was only a month ago.

I call our home office "IT" people. I get mumbling and the number for the corporate account tech support people. Uh huh. Yeah. I'll call them. No. I won't let them reformat my hard drive.

Luckily, I actually got a woman I could understand. She spoke English quiet well. After dealing with tech support people in India and other foreign countries in the past, I ventured to ask. Florida. I can handle this.

To her credit, she was very good. She walked me through many, many things - not once trying to direct me to the deadly "reformat" command. We ran some different repair features - one which ended up taking a mere four hours (I have a very large hard drive). Finally, after going through the repair I was able to bring my Windows desktop back. No programs would work, but I was able to use my CD burner and my tape backup driver and I was able to back up everything I could possibly think of that hadn't been backed up. I got home about 10 o'clock last night with a vague sense of relief knowing if the whole thing went down I now had my data available to reinstall.

This morning I was greeted by the IT people telling me if I would take my tower to a computer guru they knew (40 miles away) they and he thought my hard drive could be "ghosted" to another hard drive he had on hand. I'm game. Off I go, lighthearted optomism my passenger.
He tells me he should have it done by the end of the day. I give him my cell phone number.

Two hours later I get a call. Partition one is junk. This has created a problem with his plan. With partition one being bad, his 'ghosting' program won't even start. Huh. I tell him to call the IT people. He tells me he's got another one or two tricks up his sleeve. Yeah. I'm not holding my breath.

Another hour goes by and I get a call from the IT people. They tell me just what guru guy has said. He's stuck. Now I have options. Do I want him to install the new hard drive, spend hours loading my information and programs onto it only to turn around next week and repeat the process when the new computer they are going to order me comes OR do I just want to wait for the new computer to come and do it once. Well... let me think... DUH.

So... I have a vacation. I'm going to be off work until next week when the new computer comes. Except for the fact that when it comes I'm going to be so busy I won't be able to see straight, I'm kinda enjoying the fact I'm going to be off a couple extra days around Christmas. Now I just need to get some sleep.

The Eldest

2006-12-20T18:43:00.000-08:00

31. That's how old my eldest child is today. I'm a little late getting this posted (more about that tomorrow) however, the sentiment has been with me all day. She's an adult. She's a wife, a mom. She's a wonder. She was a second "mom" to her siblings during my darker days. She was the backbone of the family. She's paid the price, too, and I will always regret that. She's remarkable in her ability to forgive.

I've written before about her birth story and about the two-month prematurity that had to be dealt with. She was 3 lb. 5 oz. at birth. Think about that. Get out a pound of hamberger and look at it and hold it in the palm of your hand and visualize three pounds of hamberger in your hand. Now visualize trying to diaper that three pounds in a newborn diaper. That was long before the days of the "premie" clothing and diapers. She lived in doll clothes for many months. Blessed with minor health issues at her birth, there has never been a doubt in my mind that she was saved for something special in her life. Whether it was to give birth to her beautiful son, or to do something else, it brings me such joy to see her reaching milestones - so many years after those days of touch-and-go.

She's a beauty. Porcelain skin. Sandy brown hair. Bright blue eyes. A smile that won't quit. Yes, I'm probably biased. That's okay. I'm allowed. More importantly, she's beautiful inside. She has a vulnurability and a naivity one expects in someone much younger... and a laugh that takes many a person by surprise in it's spontaneous combustion; far too loud for such a little person. Sneezing she inherited - not one delicate "achoo", but several in a row - the ones that get the uninitiated patting you on the back thinking you must be choking, not sneezing! She loves to play WoW (yes, she is the culprit who got me hooked!) and when playing her fingers fly over the keyboard as she carries on conversations and moves her player through the "world". She's always up for a good movie, but be sure it's not too violent. She hates that and for years would be the only one who would go to her room instead of watching whatever the rest of us found and exciting pasttime... now she'll go, but hide her eyes.

My eldest. My strength. For a little while? My only. I love you, daughter. Happy Birthday.

Half a Century

2006-12-18T03:55:00.000-08:00

I never thought I’d make it this far. There was once or twice in my life I almost didn’t. I’m so glad I did!

Yes, this is a picture of me at age 3. This explains a lot… like why I still don’t like to wear dresses. Obviously, I never did! This was taken before my biological mother died and was one of the pictures that my father and step- chose to keep from me until I was an adult. (Little did they know, I snuck around in my teens and found the “stash” – pictures of myself and my mother.)

I can remember a black and white television that was 19” and by God, we were lucky to have it! I remember 8-track tapes and mullets (before “Joe Dirt” made them memorable to the younger generation). I remember the Beatles and JFK and getting to stay up late to watch a man walk on the moon. Yes, all in black and white. I remember the “stereo console” that came in the big wooden cabinet (real wood!) with a turntable that my parents played Montovanti and Gleason on during the dinner meals and Nat King Cole at Christmas. I remember an Easy Bake Oven and Barbie and a new blue bicycle under the tree. With baskets. And a bell.

I remember it all. The good and the bad.

Why is it I don’t feel it’s been a half a century? I mean, I can sense time passing when I look at my children and remember them all as little bitty things – which they no longer are – but me? No! Except for the occasional twinge in the back or crackle in the knees, I still feel …oh, at least half this age! I’m not very active, but then – I never was! I still love music and reading and writing and crafts and critters and you … and it goes without saying, my ever-so-loving family. I’m not exactly the same as I used to be – who would want to be? I’m much better now. (My family will understand that comment.) But in my mind? I’m still a kid. I still have lots of things I want to do.

I want another 50 years. ‘kay?

I Wanna Crush Ya!

2006-12-15T07:09:00.000-08:00

I love every one of those people over there, so don't be offended if you didn't make the post. Just know if I could write a post about each and every one of you, I would. I had to draw the line, and I chose to draw it at three.

Miss Sizzle got me into this. Ironically, she is my first crush! She was one of the first people I found, how? I don't honestly remember. She touched me with her humor, kindness and who can resist that smile? She struggles day-to-day with all the things any single woman in the world would and does it with a sense of self you rarely find. She's generous to a fault and has the kind of job that I know I could never ever ever do, but thank God there are people in this world who do them. She is a constant in my life and if she lived closer I believe we would be "real world" friends.

My second crush is on a guy who I would be proud to have as an adopted son. He's fun-loving, smart, and such a great husband and father - I mean, what's not to love? For those of you who couldn't guess with such a short description, it's Brad over at Almost Lucid. From the minute he printed a picture of his wife with not a speck of makeup and proceeded to describe how beautiful she was to him... to the heart-warming tales of his children to his job experiences and life experiences... he's a very well-rounded young man. I've also had a word or two via e-mail with his mom and trust me... he was raised very, very, well. What a lovely family and a blog I love to visit as often as possible.

Last, but by no means least, is Helen. Words cannot express the impact of this thing called an internet as much as being able to read this woman's words here in Iowa that have been written in England. If you think about it - How cool is that? To call what Helen writes merely "words" is not to give credit to the woman herself. She is such a heartfelt writer. She doesn't just give you sixty words on her day, but she reaches inside and pulls out handfuls of emotion and throws them at you with such force you can't help but be touched. Her descriptive talents escape explaination. I can't help but wish only good things for her the next year and pray she never stops blogging.

So, there it is. My not-so-secret blog crushes.

Oh... and don't forget the addresses for cards! I really, really, REALLY want to send you one!

Take It How You Will or Urgent Request!

2006-12-14T05:27:00.000-08:00

This isn't exactly true. It's just how I feel right now. Sloppy and weird. You who have your minds in the gutter can leave now...

I am usually extremely organized. I may have piles here and there, but I know what's in those piles and can generally put my hands on most whatever it is I need at a moment's notice. So, is it age or am I just going crazy? (Maybe we won't think about that one too long, either.)

Last year I had a list of all my blog-land friends addresses and for most of the year I knew exactly where it was. I kept seeing it. First here, then there, then here again. I kept moving it from place to place, always aware of exactly where it was being put, as Christmas was only... a few months away. *cough*

Yeah. You are getting the idea. Do you think I can find this list, now, when I actually want to use it?

So... if you like me... or maybe just feel sorry for me... and you got a card from me last year or would like to get a card from me this year... could you please e-mail me your address again? (sesnyde at hughes dot net) I really do value your friendship and I didn't mean to lose you... honest.

What Happened to Winter?

2006-12-13T10:27:00.000-08:00

Okay, I admit it isn't quite this bad around here... there is still a little green, but for the most part winter in the midwest without snow is brown. Dull, gray, lifeless, bo-ring. It is going to be 50-something degrees today and a possible record-breaking upper 50's on Friday. This is December. This is Christmas. This is the time of year we want to be a foot deep in it.

I was so happy because the ground was frozen solid and the "busy" part of my job was over for the winter. Then I found out today that because of the almost inch of rain we got yesterday, and the warmth, that the frost has gone out of the ground and they are back to soil sampling again. Arrrggghhh! Nooooo! Not now! Not so close to Christmas! Crap.

That lump of misery you see pooling in the corner would be me.

The Tax Man Cameth

2006-12-11T09:37:00.000-08:00

Got to meet with our lovely tax accountant this morning. No, he looks nothing like this. He even had a smile on his face!

One hurdle toward year-end on the farm. This is the part I really, really, really hate. Hubs knows I get all stressed and grouchy and my face becomes one huge ache from clenching my jaws all day long. It's not really that bad. I know that. I can tell myself that. I can repeat it as a mantra until I am sick of hearing myself say it. It makes no difference. I still get stressed about it.

The next hurdle is to go talk to the banker. Same thing. Year-end. Wrapping up this year and setting up for next year. I think we're going to try to get it done this week. I hope so. I just want it to be over so I can get on to the normal stresses of this time of year. You know, the "fun" ones.

Happy Birthday!

2006-12-09T06:37:00.000-08:00

My eldest son turns 29 today. I can barely realize that... 29 was the age my husband was when we met!

My son has so many good qualities. He has such a good heart and is so compassionate. He's very sensitive (although he tries to cover it with a hard candy shell). He is handsome (yes, I know, I'm his mother but I can still say that) and is the one out of all of my children most likely to actually own a piece of formal wear.

He enjoys music and video games and a few television programs that I've barely heard of. Mostly he enjoys hanging out with his new fiance' just cooking dinner and hanging out. That is such a nice thing. I'm so tickled he's found such a beautiful (inside and out) woman to share his life with.

He loves his family and can always be counted on by his siblings... and is always good for a laugh. I don't know too many families that can claim their children all get along. We are so blessed that ours actually do.

I've always thought of him as my dreamer. He's always planning or creating something and has goals set long ago that he keeps striving for. He'll get there. He's motivated.

Happy Birthday, Sweetie...
Love, Mom.

YAY!

2006-12-08T20:32:00.000-08:00

My youngest son is now officially engaged! We couldn't be happier for both our boys!

A Few One of My Favorite Things

2006-12-07T08:11:00.000-08:00

I'd mentioned a couple of posts ago that one of my favorite things was cherry pie. I don't know when exactly it became my favorite, but suspect it started when I was five-years-old and we lived in a house with a large cherry tree. I remember snitching cherries and eating them straight off the tree, much to my mothers' horror. As a child I didn't think about the birds that may have been sitting in that tree... you get the picture.

Whenever we go to our favorite local restaurant, which is home-cooking at it's finest, I look at the board where they've written the days' specialties as well as the desserts that are available. Knowing that if I wait until after I've actually eaten my dinner before ordering dessert, occasionally I have been beaten to the most-treasured last piece of cherry pie. So if I see it there on the board, I must stake my claim to it right up front.

Last night after a long day of work and an even longer evening of fighting the crowds in town, I returned home to find a message on my answering machine. It was a local bakery - a very yummy local bakery - respected enough that it was used for the last wedding cake in our family. I was just sure the woman must have the wrong phone number, since I was anticipating nothing to be ready for the holidays. I generally bake my own cookies and other goodies. Too late to return the call, I waited for them to open this morning.

I made the call only to find out I was the correct person! She had a delivery for me... We discussed the fact that I work in the country, and live in the country, and decided it would be best if I went to her and picked up my "goodie". She checked, and admitted she didn't even have it baked yet as she didn't know when she'd get in touch with me and she wanted to be sure it was fresh. It's been agreed that I'll be picking it up on Monday. Curiosity got the best of me... "can I ask what it is?"

You guessed it. Cherry pie. My favorite.

From? This guy. Can you believe it? I know I couldn't! She said, "He wanted it to be a surprise"... my response? "Trust me, it IS!!!" Isn't this one of the sweetest things you've ever heard of? Thank you so much, Michael...

Tell me of a time when you've been totally surprised by an unexpected gift.

Where Has She Been?

2006-12-05T11:22:00.000-08:00

I realize the curiousity was killing you. Okay, well, maybe not so much according to my sitemeter. Most of you have just given up. Hopefully, you popped in just to see if maybe today was the day she came back... and it was your lucky day! What can I say? I've been busy. Here's a re-cap.

Entertaining a dozen people at my house for Thanksgiving. Any woman who has been through this knows that does not just involve cooking enough food for said army, but also cleaning the house from top to bottom, shopping for the food to be consumed (in record time), and re-cleaning the house after the army has left.
Working at my paid job. Overtime. Weekends - including Sundays. I think this has perhaps just come to a screeching halt. It's gotten cold enough now that the ground has frozen and there will be no more 'new' work coming in for this season. Busy-ness will start again next spring when the ground thaws.
Working at my second job - farm wife. This includes, at this time of the year, year-end bookwork for the tax man. Ugh. I hate, hate, hate bookwork. I am the worlds' worst procrastinator when it comes to doing it. My sweet husband has talked to our tax accountant and tried to make all this easier for me, however I am required to do some pre-tax-accountant coding of information and entering of data into the computer, etc. I procrastinate, then have to make up four months worth of data in a couple of days. Have I mentioned I hate bookwork? Oh, yeah... and my dad was a lifetime accountant. Go figure.
Getting ready for Christmas and Birthday season. We don't just have Christmas to celebrate this time of year. We have three substantive birthdays before Christmas, two not-so-substantive (in other words, relatives that I barely acknowledge as living, let alone having a birthday - my bad!!) ones. We also have two critical ones the first week in January. Can't let those slip by! Now, my parents did a lot of things wrong (if you don't believe me, I can offer proof) but one thing they actually did very well was to make sure my birthday, which falls one week before Christmas, was celebrated as a birthday - not an extention of Christmas. I try to do the same for the two kids (adults now) and grandson who all have birthdays so close.
In the spirit of getting ready for Christmas, I am re-creating a cross-stitch for my parents that I made them years ago and hung in their last two homes - the last of which burned to the ground taking many crafts and cross-stitch pictures I had made for them. These are things that you can't just go to the store and purchase, but have to take the time and effort to re-make. I found one of the patterns for a large Noah's Ark and am almost done with it. My mother collected Noah's Ark memorabilia for a long time, and I'm hoping this will give her the itch to do it again. She's not gotten into any of that stuff since the fire. Hoping to surprise them... so don't tell!
Making a list and checking it twice... all while decorating the house for the coming holiday. Now I've just got to go out and find it all! *sigh*

A couple of quick notes. Kenna - the next time you wish me to guest blog, you have to teach me how. I was a huge failure. I think it may have started (as I go back and read the e-mail) by trying to respond to the e-mail I got telling me not to respond. What can I say? Sorry...

A good friend sent me a "California Christmas" CD - songs he sung himself! It's amazing and has gotten me to sing along while decorating the house. Thank you again, Michael.

The rest of you in Blogland and WoW-land... what can I possibly say? I've missed you all terribly but exhaustion has forced me to step away from the computer at the end of the day and I've got a lot of catching up to do. Hope all is well with everyone and if not... guess I'll find out, late, but eventually. Have a great holiday season and thanks for stopping by~~~

Oh... and lest I forget. If you got something by snail mail from me last year and your address hasn't changed, you may just get something again this year! If you didn't, but want to, send me your snail mail address. I'm psychic, but not that psychic.

Sharing the Holiday

2006-11-25T05:51:00.000-08:00

Nothing says "I'm thankful" like gathering several of your best pals in the backyard and blowing a couple hundred dollars worth of bullets shooting at small clay discs.

How was your Thanksgiving?

Blessings

2006-11-22T17:01:00.000-08:00

When I was growing up one of my favorite holidays was Thanksgiving. Usually it meant going to one of my grandparents' for dinner, or some of them traveling to have dinner with us. It meant a day when bickering was put on hold (for the most part) and the tummies were filled with yummy goodness. Early on, and into my teens, I thought to myself... I am never getting married, I am never having children. Partially because of the selfish nature of the beast (only child syndrome, you know) and partially because of the turmoil I saw around me in my own family and others.

Many years later, I am a happily married woman with four beautiful grown children, a whole houseful of critters, and a few good friends - in the real world, and in cyberland. Although it turned out a whole lot different than what I'd imagined so many years ago, I love my life. Hope you can say the same.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Another Meme - For GG

2006-11-19T09:58:00.000-08:00

Things you may not have known about me...

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Retail clothing store manager
2. Demographic mapping coordinator
3. Freshman Admissions evaluator at a local University
4. Mom (anyone who argues this isn’t a job come over here and bite me)

Four movies I would watch over and over
1. Breakfast at Tiffany's
2. The Way We Were
3. Legends of the Fall
4. It’s a Wonderful Life

Four places I have lived:
1. In a large town – Des Moines, Iowa
2. In a very tiny town – Gilman, Iowa
3. In a mid-sized town – Storm Lake, Iowa
4. In the country

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. CSI
2. Dexter
3. Wire in the Blood
4. Rebus

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Acapulco
2. Northwoods, Wisconsin
3. Black Hills, South Dakota
4. California

Favorite foods:
1. Handmade onion rings (not them icky frozen jobs)
2. Beef Strogonoff
3. Hot cocoa (real, not instant)
4. Cherry pie

I'm not gonna tag anyone... feel free to do it on your own and let me know how it comes out!

It's Official!

2006-11-17T12:37:00.000-08:00

My eldest son is engaged!!!

Dear Co-Worker

2006-11-15T13:29:00.000-08:00

Which part of "I'm really swamped today, could you have someone stay in the office and cover things" don't you understand?

You had one guy stay here in the office for about an hour this morning, then he left to "get parts" and you let the other office guy take this afternoon off. You? You found it convenient to disappear to who-knows-where. All I know is when I called you to come in and talk to a customer, you were at home. At 11 o'clock.

Dumbass.

A Quick Update

2006-11-15T06:23:00.000-08:00

Hair-tearing. Yup. That's pretty much how things are going right now.

I am so swamped at work I can't see straight. There are myself and three men in the office. One took the week off to go pheasant hunting out of state. One is new. One is a dumb-ass. I'm not naming names. This is the time of year our company hands out turkeys to our customers. Customers have been known to come by the office to pick up their turkey. That's allowed. However, it is not a good thing to be the only person in the office because everyone else is out delivering turkeys and have to do a.) my work which is in overload this time of year b.) answer the phones c.) talk to the customers d.) try to find a turkey for a customer in a refrigerated truck out back only to find the guys didn't leave me any in the refrigerated truck to hand out. Dumb-ass.

Oh, and did I mention I have to go deliver turkeys tomorrow night after work? yeah.

Next week will find ten people at my house expecting 1.) a full Thanksgiving meal, 2.) a clean house and 3.) a presentable me. At this point? Good luck on 2 and 3.

The car is wonderful. Thanks for asking. Still nameless. The one name I liked, Hubs objected to, so back to the drawing board.

AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!

2006-11-13T06:22:00.000-08:00

Can you guess?

I found out MIL isn't going to leave town until the 26th. She will be home for Christmas. We'll be having Christmas eve at her house with "The ~~Brats~~ Boys" and family and she'll be coming to our house Christmas day.

I knew if I celebrated too soon it was going to come back and bite me in the butt.

Would You Believe?

2006-11-10T09:48:00.000-08:00

Isn't She Pretty?

2006-11-08T07:19:00.000-08:00

This is not MY car, exactly, but it's a picture of one just like MY car. My NEW car. My very special "girlie" car. (According to my daughter this is definately a "chick-car" scaring Hubs out of ever thinking of driving it without me.)

I have a gas-guzzling 2001 Chevy Tahoe that we bought new, but when it was purchased it was Hubs' vehicle. I got it a year or so later when he decided he really did want a nice pickup to complement his work truck. It's a red and silver two door and it serves a purpose. I wouldn't want to be caught in the Iowa winter in the country with two feet of snow and no four-wheel drive. However, with gas prices the way they have been, and the fact that I do like this vehicle and don't want to get rid of it - I'd like to keep the miles off it - I rarely drive it anymore. Unless I need a reliable vehicle to go out of town or need to haul something large.

I have not had a new car since 1989. I have a tendency to bond with my vehicles. My 1989 Honda Civic was a cutie when she was young, but through the years she got passed on to kids to drive. (Through garage doors. Twice. The gas tank cap was sprung. The windshield was cracked. The rust is barely holding it together. Several gallons of Mountain Dew were slopped here and there. I don't drink Mountain Dew. There is some mystery substance staining the back seat. I don't want to know. Honest. Speakers for the stereo are blown. When you drive down the road in the dark with the headlights on and the fan motor kicks in, the lights dim. There is a rattle. Oh, who am I kidding? There are LOTS of rattles.The interior lights no longer come on when you open the doors - probably out of embarrassment for how bad she looks. She tries. Her heater still works great and the air conditioning keeps up fine. She still gets great gas milage, too.) Then a couple of years ago, my son got a new car and I got the poor thing back. She's been a good girl, but she, like me, is getting old. She's a manual 5-speed and although I really love driving a stick, my body doesn't much anymore. I've got a trick knee that is okay most of the time, but occasionally will "stick" when I use the clutch. Not a good situation.

One day while daydreaming, I mentioned to Hubs that someday I'd like a new "beater" - what we call our junk cars to keep the miles off our "good" vehicles. I'd always thought the Beetles were cute, but hadn't driven a new one so wasn't sure if I'd even like them. A few days ago, out of the blue, Hubs showed me some on the internet. He's such a sweetie. He'll totally forget some things, but other things... well, he remembered and it was a surprise.

Saturday, after getting off work at noon, daughter and I drove to another town 40 miles away to test drive a 2001 model. They let us take it back home to show Hubs. The dealer said he'd meet us back at the store in a couple of hours. It drove like a dream. It was so much fun! I fell for it. Hard. As we drove back on the lot, the dealer had a distressed look on his face. 20 minutes after we'd driven off the lot, a man who had been looking and test-driving that car several times that week came in and gave him a cashiers check. He'd sold it right from under us!!!

Hubs exact quote when I called to tell him was "well, I'll be dipped in shit". Yeah. He's a farmer. Can ya tell?

The next day or two were filled with angst. Hubs scoured the Sunday paper for another one but this one was the "luxery" model and they were not to be found. After thinking on it, Hubs just said "Let's go look at a new one". Never thinking I'd find another one that would be what I wanted (I can be a bit cynical at times) he, daughter and I drove to the nearby big city dealership to check it out. There, my friends, was MY new car. It's got all the do-dads and gizmos and extras you could ever want, in an affordable, cute, hell... even FUN... package. Yes, and here is where my "only child syndrome" kicks in... and it's MINE. Although, technically, Hubs' name is on the title... 'cause I will share...

Now she just needs a name.

Techno-Nerd Alert

2006-11-08T07:14:00.000-08:00

Can anyone tell me how to post "you-tube" videos to the blog?

Need I Say More?

2006-11-07T04:07:00.000-08:00

Disclosure

2006-11-05T05:28:00.000-08:00

Back in August I posted about the farm situation and it was in the tone of frustration. I was so tired of fighting the high fuel prices, higher fertilizer and chemical prices, and horribly low grain prices. I was depressed and fearing that our beautiful "dream house" was going to turn out to be just that ... a temporary dream that we'd wake up from as we had to sell. Worry and fear made me angry. Angry that this was going on and on and on, year after year, and no end in sight.

Through it all, I tried to keep my "core" of positive thinking. I've never been "suzy sunshine" and wouldn't want to be. I need to be realistic. But in that realism, I tried to tell Hubs that it had to change. I know that the world needs the commodities the farmers provide. That eventually the "powers that be" would have to realize this and the world would turn a little and things would even out a bit.

They have. At long last.

Since August the fuel prices have come down. The grain prices have gone up. The harvest was not as productive as the Chicago boys* thought. That makes for a shortage of grain. The demand is still strong. That makes the prices go up. The prices are still going up... and are projected to continue, possibly into the $4 range. That, my friends, along with a good grain harvest, is pretty close to the equivalent of winning the lottery in my world. (However, not the kind of lottery where you quit your job and run off to the Carribean.) Rumor has it the prices may even stay high for a year or two. That would be amazing.

This is not to say this has just become a stress-free job. It doesn't mean I'll stop being tired most days, or crabby some days... It just means we are going to get to keep this beautiful house. Keep the life we've grown to love. Keep on keeping on. We've been given the shot in the arm we always knew was a possibility, we just never knew when or how it would come. In the interest of full disclosure, I wanted to share the good as well as the bad.

*Chicago Board of Trade

Early Celebration

2006-11-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

No, we're not celebrating Christmas early... exactly. We're celebrating the fact that MIL is going to be out-of-state for Christmas. Hubs' sister and her husband are building a house (which, Hubs saw the plans for and tells me looks remarkably similar to *cough* *cough* someone elses' house...). Last Christmas my MIL went there because it was going to be their last Christmas in their current house. Well, as it turned out, THIS Christmas is going to be the last Christmas in their current house. Everyone say "awwww"... So, we've been blessed with having our children come home for Christmas without the wet blanket that can be MIL.

I am so going to hell.

Lawn Ornaments

2006-11-03T05:02:00.000-08:00

Twin fawns who visited in August.

Monarch butterflly loving the butterfly bush in September.

Big bunny dog!

What can I say? She's ball-obsessed.

Is this a face to love, or what?

Coulrophobia

2006-11-02T05:39:00.000-08:00

I realize I have an unnatural phobia… and yet I am finding more and more people who share it. Do you have it? Do you know what it is? Yeah, the picture kinda gives it away. It's the fear of clowns.

I don’t know for sure when it started. I think when I was small I just thought clowns were creepy. Later on, I heard stories of John Wayne Gacy killing little boys and how he chose to perform as a clown. I also got freaked out by my favorite author, Stephen King, when “It” came out.

I respect the people who play clowns (or have played them) and think they must have a hard time trying to make children laugh who are terrified of them. I wonder what they do when that happens? Hopefully, give the child some space.

I realize it is probably a silly fear to have. What’s a clown gonna do? Hit me with a water balloon? Throw confetti at me? Make a face? Nothing that is really going to harm me in any way, shape or form. Unless, of course, he really IS an evil person just dressed up as a clown.

I admit, after reading Wikopedia's description and how extreme some people have reacted, I don’t have a severe case of the phobia. I am much more terrified of spiders. I just don’t feel comfortable around clowns. Actors? No problem. Put someone in a cat suit and sing “Memory” to me and I melt. White face and a big red nose… well, I just can’t sit still for long.

Today I heard a bizarre news story out of Sarasota, Florida. A few years ago Chicago had an art project / fund raiser where they put artistically decorated cows all over the city. I think they were then raffled off or else they were sponsored in the first place and money was raised for a good cause (see how well I pay attention?). They did the same thing in our state capital with pigs and in Iowa City with the University of Iowa mascot Herky Hawk. Well, now Sarasota has had a brainstorm called “Clowning Around Town” where they’re doing it in their city with… yeah… clowns. The news report was about how they’re being vandalized and they’ve only been on display for a couple of weeks. In my opinion, they’re lucky they’ve lasted this long!! Can you imagine driving around and seeing clowns on every street corner? Yikes!

(In a related side-note, the dj's were talking about people being afraid of clowns and how one of them had a co-worker who was terrified of them. On his last day of work, several of them dressed up as clowns and would creep up on him and stand on either side next to the water cooler, or to get on the elevator... or come up behind him and just stand there until he noticed... freaking him out every time. The boss finally had to tell them to go "get normal" as they were going to scare the guy half to death!)

How about you? Anyone else out there phobic about clowns? Something else you want to share?

Fall Colors In the Yard

2006-11-01T08:25:00.000-08:00

The front walk. Fall garden colors.

Front side garden.

Sedum and mums.

Marigolds in the gazing ball.

The side yard by the driveway.

Halloween Re-Cap

2006-11-01T07:57:00.000-08:00

Can you tell who has which pumpkin? These were carved by my grandson (shown), youngest daughter and myself.

Youngest daughter doing her civic duty - handing out trick-or-treat candy at the mall. You can't tell very well from this picture (partially because she's blurry) but she was decked out as a cat, complete with face makeup. I promised no close-ups posted. She didn't want to paint up in the first place... I made her.

Politics

2006-10-30T08:35:00.000-08:00

This guy is coming to town. Well, not our town, but close by. Today (this afternoon). I’d love to go see him, but have to work.

I am about as far from the political mainstream as the log floating in our creek… and as active. I have never been Republican or Democrat, voting instead by whichever candidate impresses me the most by agreeing with my point of view or pissing me off the least.

This whole controversy going on around about MJ’s political ad and whether or not he was drugged or not drugged or playing for sympathy… well, it just makes me mad. It’s blowing smoke at the point. Stem cell research is probably going to save a great number of lives – maybe even my own – and voting for the candidates that are supporting it may be one of the better things I’ve done in my life.

Sleepwalking Through Friday

2006-10-27T04:00:00.000-07:00

I wish this were me.

Last night went well. More later, as well as pictures of the finished product.

We're Gonna Try This Again

2006-10-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

This is the ever-popular "drunken pumpkin" that I've seen lots of places. I don't think this will be one of the pumpkins we carve tonight with the daughters, son-in-law, and grandson.

It's been raining and is cold and yucky out. Perfect weather for hunting the elusive pumpkin! Wish us luck! Will try to get some pictures of the final products...

I Have Become What I Hate Pt I

2006-10-25T04:40:00.000-07:00

I tried hard not to ever become the dreaded Mother-In-Law, but I fear it has now happened. It isn't in reference to a current son-in-law, but rather to an ex, so don't know if that makes it better or worse.

Youngest daughter and I went to a popular multi-product store last night. In the parking lot, she commented, "That looks like Nicholas"*... oh, wait, that IS Nicholas! He was there with his dad (eldest daughter's ex) and the dad's girlfriend.

By the time we got into the store, they weren't in sight and we proceeded to do our shopping, keeping our eyes peeled for Nicholas. I happened to catch sight of Mark* (the ex) cutting through another part of the store and saying to someone out of sight "We'll be right over here".

We walked toward where he'd been and there was Nicholas, standing in the toy isle. By himself. (He's in 3rd grade). We said hi to him and started chatting, the whole time keeping an eye out for Mark, who I was sure was going to come up any second.

I went over to where I'd last seen Mark, and looked around and saw no sign of him. Casually, my daughter and I looked up and down the isles near where Nicholas was absorbed in trying to decide which toy he thought was the best. No Mark. No girlfriend.

Finally, after chatting with Nicholas for at least 15 minutes, Mark and the girlfriend come strolling up. Startled to find us talking to Nicholas, back-peddling soon began. The first comment out of his mouth was something about leaving children alone. Flippant. Guilty. Throughout the next few minutes while we said goodbye to Nicholas, Mark mentioned it again. Yes, asshat, you were caught. All the joking and backpeddling in the world is not going to keep me from telling my daughter you left my grandson standing in the big store toy department by himself for at least 15 minutes while you were nowhere in sight, or earshot. (Daughter and I figured if he'd been within hearing distance, he'd have shown up much sooner and been less surprised.)

I hate this. I don't like to be the bad guy. I don't like to go tattling to my daughter about her ex's bad behavior. I also don't like the thought of my grandson being left alone like that. Sad as it is, that's how little kids disappear.

I live in a fairly good sized town, but as I've told my kids while they were growing up... it's really a small town. My husband has lived here his whole life and knows a lot of people. There are only so many places to shop. It's inevitable that you will be caught. Someone you know or we know will see you. Someone you know will tell your parents. In this case, someone you know saw you and is going to tell HIS parent. Get your act together. What was so important you had to leave Nicholas alone for that amount of time in the store? You couldn't hang out with him in the toy department and then go look at what you and the girlfriend wanted to look at? C'mon... put your brain in gear. This is your kid. I like to give my ex son-in-law's the benefit of the doubt, but you've disappointed me once again.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent and non-so-innocent

Raise Your Hand

2006-10-24T06:36:00.000-07:00

if you didn't want to get out of bed today.

Me either.

Oh Boo Hoo

2006-10-23T14:53:00.000-07:00

No, this is not a punkin we carved. I just thought it expressed my mood at the moment quite well. Eldest daughter is sick, so no punkin carving tonight. It sounds like she may have a bit of what I had. I promise I didn't give it to her. I never even saw her while I was sick. Promise.

Maybe we'll do it later this week. Hope so!

The snow didn't happen either. It's cold enough to do it, but it went north of us (sorry Livey).

I got back to work and luckily, the pile I was expecting wasn't here. I had plenty to do, don't get me wrong, but I'm not as backlogged as I was afraid I'd be. I figure it will all hit tomorrow.

One of these days I'll get around to visiting all of you. Until then, just be satisfied to know I'm trying to post occasionally so you know I'm not dead. Yet.

Weekend Update

2006-10-21T14:03:00.000-07:00

This isn't here now, but it's coming. They say it's going to come this afternoon - maybe up to 2"!

Friends left suddenly on Tuesday afternoon. They were going to stay longer, but one of them had some trouble with their heating system at home and he was worried about his family, so they left early. This caused untold troubles with the in-laws. Ours. My BIL (also known as Mr. Weeny-Whiney-Woo-Woo) had a shit fit and fell in it when company left without visiting them. Oh, boo-hoo. I'd done the "good" wife thing and invited BIL's whole family and MIL over for supper Tuesday night so they could see the visitors. After kicking myself profoundly, I was let off the hook when the guys decided to go home and my BIL's family decided not to come. MIL still came, but she was diluted by my daughter and younger son with his girlfriend. Nonetheless, my BIL pouted and ranted at Hubs for letting them go. WTF? It wasn't our responsibility to make sure the visitors went to visit them! Good grief. Grow up.

Of course, the day after they left, I got sick. I'm on the upswing now, but two days of ringing, aching ears, pounding headache, and tumbling tummy made for a not-so-happy person. I really don't have the time to take off right now to lay about. At least with all the rain and wind we've had, harvest has been slower than normal so my workload has been busy but still managable. I dread seeing what my desk is going to look like Monday, though. If you don't hear from me for a few days, don't panic. I'm just hiding under my desk.

I think Monday night younger daughter and I are going to eldest daughter's house to carve pumpkins with my grandson. Should be fun! Haven't done that for years ...

I'm not thinking the snow will be around long, and I'm sure it's not suitable for it to stick on the roadways yet. Still... it is coming. I know winter is just around the corner. I'm smiling on the inside...

Company

2006-10-16T08:18:00.000-07:00

Slap me.

I need to wake up.

Friends came in yesterday from the deep south to stay for an indeterminate time. (Is it rude to ask someone when they show up how long they are staying for?) They went straight to the field and one rode in the combine with Hubs, the other one chiseled ground. They all straggled in at 10 o'clock last night, then proceeded to shower and have some "cold adult beverages". Dinner did not get consumed until 11 o'clock. That's too friggin' late for this old broad. Truly.

I was rude and went straight to bed after supper. I think I peeked at the clock and it was about 1 when Hubs came to bed (talking to me, no less). I lay in bed wondering why the lights were still on in the other room, figuring maybe Hubs left them on for our guests. I tossed and turned for another 30 minutes before the quiet convinced me no one was there, then went in search of the darkness.

I found Hubs had left on the downstairs outside lights (right under our room) when he was giving the guys "the house tour"... as well as leaving some light on in the livingroom. No wonder it was so bright around there!

5 o'clock came awfully early. Hubs was up by 6:30 as I was leaving - that surprised me! It's raining today and I don't think much harvesting will be done. I suspect a great deal of "cold adult beverages" may be consumed.

I just want to crawl back in bed.

Friday the 13th

2006-10-13T08:59:00.000-07:00

Sooo... anyone superstitous?

I'm not. Surprisingly enough, with all the 'weird' things that seem to happen around me, you think I would be.

So, now... an early Halloween treat for you. A ghost story. This is a true story told to me by someone I trust did not make it up.

When this girl was young she lived in a haunted house. Her bedroom, in particular, was haunted by a ghost of an old man dressed in clothing of an earlier time. He called himself "Fred" and although she didn't see him inside of her room, she would see him pass by just outside the window. Inside her room, she would see evidence of him when her stereo knobs would turn on their own, or her doorknob would turn when no one was there. He was not a 'good' spirit. She said he told her he "liked little girls" and one night she even had her covers lifted from the foot of her bed, right in front of her eyes, off of her body. She was afraid to sleep in her own room until she was older and "Fred" went away.

Her mother was in town one day and happened upon the woman who had grown up in the house with the family before this one. In conversation, the woman asked which bedroom the little girl had... in finding out, she asked "has she met Fred?". Yes, she, too, had been haunted by the ghost that liked "little girls". When the girls got to a certain age, Fred was never seen again. Her family still lives in the house.

How about you? Any true ghost stories?

Confessions of a (Former) Townie

2006-10-09T06:20:00.000-07:00

I admit it. I was a town kid. Oh, I lived in a small town or two when I was young, but always in the town limits and didn’t have any exposure to farm country. Well, except that one memorable summer I went to stay with my cousins for two weeks on their farm. That’s a whole other post.

In my junior high and high school years (or should that now be “middle school”…am I dating myself?) we lived in the state capital. My school had one boy who could be even remotely considered a farm kid and he was so quiet that we pretty much forgot he even was there.

Although my parents were big into camping, and my father actually worked on his uncle’s farm when he was a kid, I was kept sheltered from the world of agriculture. I’ve found in later years that there are lots of kids that are. Kids that drink milk, eat meat, vegetables and fruit, and have no clue where they come from before they get to the isles of the nearest grocery store.

I at least thought I knew these things until I met my farmer-husband and found out how clueless I truly was. For the first time I am revealing some of my “misconceptions” about the country a.k.a. all that space outside of the city limits. In some ways it really is a foreign country.

* Most of the corn that is growing in the fields, at least here in the Midwest, is not the sweet corn that people eat. It is field corn. It is used for animal feed and corn oil and ethanol. Trust me, you do not want to eat it.

* The “beans” that are growing in the fields in the Midwest are not “green”, “pinto”, “lima” or variations thereof. They are soybeans. They are edible and have been sold roasted and salted as pumpkins seeds or sunflower seeds are, but the majority of it is used again for animal feeds, fuels, and cooking oils and additives.

* Country roads are laid out by miles, not blocks. One city block does not equal one country ‘block’.

* They ARE roads, not streets.

* They used to all be numbered with weird county names like R38 or E26. Unless you get 911 service in your area. Then they come and give your house a real address number (not just a “rural route” number) and your street a real name. However, unless you are talking to another townie or townie transplant? You will probably still be referred to the R number or E number or how many miles past some local landmark.

* In town, we are given directions by “turn left” or “turn right” or “go straight”. In the country, you learn damn quick (even if you have to get out your sundial) north, south, east and west… ‘cause that is the only way you will be given directions.

* The driveway to your city home is considered to be a country lane leading to your house.

* Lunch in town is the noon meal. Lunch in the country is a snack. Dinner in town is served at night. Dinner in the country is served at noon. Supper in town is served – if at all – as an early evening meal. Supper in the country is served at night, usually whenever the farmer gets out of the field, so can be anytime from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. Are you confused? Boy, I sure was…

In my own defense, I would now like to point out a couple of my pet peeves. These are things that as what I now consider myself to be – a farm person – I cannot tolerate in the townies. Just so you know, these are not things I have done.

* In town, you do not step off the sidewalk for any reason, unless you are in a public park (or it is your own yard). Fences have been erected for small infractions of children ‘cutting through’ on lot lines to go to school. Newer communities have constructed bicycle and walking paths that weave in and among the houses, making the chance meeting of grass and feet rare. In the country, everything is community property. NOT. Do not ever make that assumption. That is a huge townie mistake. I have seen more dumb townies since moving to the country than I had my whole life up to that point. Townies think once you step outside the city limits it is all free land with no boundaries, limits, or rules. They think nothing of pulling up to a ditch, any ditch, and dumping their old Christmas tree, tires, refrigerator, or ten boxes of junk from Aunt Sara’s house that they don’t want to haul to the public junkyard because they’ll charge them $10 to dump it. Once the guy was dumb enough to dump his trash and he left mail in it. The cops tracked him down, made him clean it up, and gave him a hefty fine. That was only once out of a zillion times this has happened, however.

* My front yard is not the local country park. Do not picnic. Even if the German Shepherd is not barking at you this day.

* My barn is not your refuge in the storm. Unless you ask. You may actually be invited into the house at that point. If you just help yourself to my property without asking, you may be looking down the barrel of a shotgun. You've been warned.

* My fuel barrel is not the local gas station, and my water hose is not the local hydrant.

* Just because I live in the country does not mean I need to get the tractor and/or pickup truck out to pull your sorry drunk ass out of the ditch at 2:30 a.m. when you can't make it home from the bar in one piece and you don't want to call the cops and/or the tow truck. You're lucky if I've let you use the phone.... and restrained the German Shepherd.

* Any rocks, flowers, trees or other items you find in my front yard are not free for the taking. Whether or not they are outside my home… or on the edge of my farm field. Just because you can’t see a building right there, it is not public property, but is property that I either own or rent and it is not yours.

* Last, but far from least, going out into the country is not a guarantee of privacy. Country roads were not put there for you to park and get naked. Within three miles of my house my husband and I have caught people in broad daylight ‘getting it on’. Many more have been spotted going down the country road in the middle of the night, slowing down, and the lights go out. Uh huh. We be stupid. People? Get a room. Or at least, get some common sense. Country people go up and down those gravel roads all the time and we’re usually in a pickup, semi-truck or suv that I guarantee will be able to look down into your little Toyota to see your lily-white butt doin’ the nasty. Oh? … and when you go by the field later and see us? Sheepish waving does not make it all better.

All I’ve got for today. Welcome to the Country. Be sure you have your passport ready.

Have I Mentioned It's THAT Time of Year?

2006-10-05T09:05:00.000-07:00

Probably won't catch up with you guy's blogs until... oh... January?

Up on My Soapbox

2006-10-02T06:08:00.000-07:00

In 1982 a 12-yr old paperboy was abducted from my hometown. His name was Johnny Gosch. As the years have gone by, his mother, Noreen, has never given up the search for her son and even though a few years ago a grown Johnny came to her door and spoke to her, he cannot come home. He isn't safe. Her life-long committment to her son's plight has touched a nerve. You can read all about it on her website.

I bring this up now because it seems there has been a huge interest in the pedafile in our society. Dateline NBC has their "to catch a predator" series, and it was highlighted on Oprah the other day. I've noticed more of the Law and Order shows dedicated to this topic, and a huge upswing of general talk about it.

As a parent of grown children I am so thankful that they grew up safely. As a child growing up in the midwest I felt insulated from this kind of thing. Occasionally we would hear about "weirdos" in the area - I had an 8-yr-old friend who was "flashed" on the way to school one day - but other than that, we lived pretty insulated lives. I remember the day I heard about Johnny Gosch being abducted. I had three children, 7, 5, and 2. I was stunned to think this happened in the community where I had lived and gone to school. Further stunned when another paperboy was taken a couple years later in the same town, the same way. Now, many years later, I read on Noreen's site that there was yet another 12-yr-old boy taken a couple years after that and it never even made the news!! I just don't understand this apathy being shown by the police department and the news media in these cases.

Noreen has hired private detectives over the years and has linked the previous chief of police to an infamous pedefile ring that was broken up in Omaha, Nebraska, a few years ago. She's found proof of links to high ranking officials in law enforcement, media and our government.

I believe it. I believe it all. I've watched the NBC show catch all levels of society trying to meet up to have sex with minors. They've busted the upper-echelon to the middle-class to the most trusted members of our society, teachers, principals, and even a rabbi! We've all heard the stories of the Catholic priests. A few years ago a school board member and well-respected local businessman was caught in bed with his own daughter, a minor. We find out he's been doing it for years - and with more than one daughter. My own daughter had been to their home to spend the night, and bless her heart, trusted her instincts when she said, "Mom, he's creepy". Yes, he was.

People try to blame it on the internet. No, folks. It's not the internet. Yes, the internet has probably made it a bit easier for the creeps, but they've always been there and they will always be there. The internet has just made it more obvious to those of us who live in relatively sheltered lives that this is "out there". This is way more prevalant that most of us know, or want to know, but you can't close your eyes to it. I hope these people keep getting caught. I hope they are not treated like "ill" individuals, but the criminals they are. I have no sympathy for them. The children's lives they have ruined with their "illness" will follow them for the rest of their lives.

Children shouldn't have to live in fear.

Crying Wolf

2006-10-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

We've all heard the story of the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf. For those of you who have been living under a rock, the condensed version is the little boy was tending his sheep and liked the attention called when he cried "wolf!". One day he cried "wolf!" too many times and people didn't believe him and didn't come - and that, of course, was the day there really was a wolf.

I have my own version of that going on in my house. It's called the Smoke Detectors That Go Off. I have mentioned this before, but I'm going to bring it up again. This time I'm on a mission. I want new smoke detectors. I mean it.

I like having smoke detectors. I do. Especially since my parents' house burned down. I'm a little paranoid. This is a bigger house than our old one. Yes, it's newer, but that doesn't mean things can't catch on fire. We're just lucky the lightening that hit our house and put a hole in the roof, didn't catch anything on fire! If it had, I would hope the smoke detectors would have gone off and my daughter, home alone, would have safely gotten her and the critters out.

However, the way the ones we have now work, we'd all burn up.

We have several detectors and they are all hardwired into the electricity of the house, and some of them then also have a battery backup. It's this that causes the problem. I'm used to the detectors that give you a polite little 'beep' every few minutes until you change them. They start off beeping far apart, getting closer together the longer you ignore them. Yet, they still maintain that quiet, polite, little 'beep'.

The ones we have now give you no warning except to go off screaming - in the middle of the night. They all go off blaring loudly for about a 3 second interval and that, my friends, is your FIRST warning. I learned after that first time not to ignore the warning, but got right to it and replaced all the batteries. I did it over Memorial Weekend. You know, just a few short months ago. I remember checking the battery expiration dates to be sure they were still good - yes, they were all good until 2010. Should make it a year, then, huh? So... why did the alarm go off last night? Not, I might add, for the three-second warning, but for the full blaring 10-minute-until-I-could-pull-the-plug warning? ...and yes, I checked. I found no fire. Also, there is no way to tell which one is the bad battery, as they all go off if one goes off. So, you either change them all or hit and miss.

Which brings me back to the boy and the wolf. Instead of spending 10 minutes trying to figure out what was burning, I should be getting my family and critters out of the house, then trying to figure out what is burning. I should be able to rely on the fact that something is actually wrong... (and, no, they don't put them near kitchens anymore because they know people are always setting them off burning the toast.) Not to mention the middle-of-the-night jolt of adrenaline that I did NOT need and didn't leave my system for a good three hours.

As top-of-the-line as I'm sure these detectors are, I don't want them. I promise to change them once a year. I promise to pay attention if they politely beep at me to tell me "this one has a bad battery and it's gone down before the year has expired". I just don't need any more false alarms.

Boo!

2006-09-28T06:30:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, it never failed but Halloween would be a frigid, rainy day. Whatever costume you had and were so incredibly proud to show off would be hidden beneath your winter coat, scarf, hat and mittens, only to be shared at the school party or local community costume party. This was before all such events were considered pagan or religious and banned from schools. Halloween parties were the best, because unlike the Valentine or Christmas parties, no gifts or cards were exchanged and no one felt left out if they didn’t get a card or gift from their “special” friend. Rarely were costumes purchased, either, so it was a creative collaboration between parent and child to come up with a suitable costume. Even the ever-popular-oh-so-simple bed sheet ghost was accepted with as much glee as the neighborhood vampire.

My favorite costume for several years was a gypsy getup that my grandmother had given me. It consisted of a gauzy rust orange colored skirt, a billowy yellow shirt, long deep red sash, and huge hoop earrings – made for non-pierced little girls’ ears. I wore that costume for several years in a row until if finally, literally, fell apart. Many years later I would find an old picture of my mother (the one who died when I was three) wearing the same costume. I often wondered if she loved it as much as I did. She seemed pretty happy in the picture.

I remember my father being a stickler for the “trick” before the “treat”. Kids better not come to our house unprepared, for they would never receive a treat just for showing up. Even a badly told joke was better than nothing and would get its just reward. That, of course, worked in reverse. I must not leave the house without a properly rehearsed joke (Have I mentioned I have a mental block about jokes? I love them, but can never remember one – even one I’ve just been told. I must write it down if I expect to relay it.) or, in my case, a song. It was just a little ditty that I think we learned in school, but it was something I could remember and warble out in passable fashion.

These, too, were the days before you had to be suspicious of everything in your candy sack. X-raying of the goodies was still far into the future and the razor blades / pins / poisons were all happening “somewhere else”. The homemade treats were always the best – the hand wrapped brownies, popcorn balls, and caramel apples beat out the “fun size” candy every time. (I don’t remember it being called “fun size” at the time, though. Can’t remember what they did call it… hmmm… The memory, she is a-goin’.)

Then, of course, there was the inevitable candy inspection when you got home. Although no one was looking for razor blades or pins, it was a known fact that Dad must have his cut of the loot. Seems to me my children had to go through the same thing. I guess there are some things that never change, huh?

I was in the yard last night near dusk and the combine was going through the field right outside our house. There was the faint aroma of burning leaves in the air. The rustle of the dry corn husks and the leaves that have started turning and falling all joined to flash me back to those Halloweens long ago… have I mentioned I love fall?

Today's the Day

2006-09-27T06:17:00.000-07:00

This is what I feel like most days. No, I'm not quite this overweight, but am getting there. Today I started my day with a personal trainer at the local gym. I have two more appointments next week with her, too, and after that I'm counting on the support of my daughter and my daughter-in-law-2b to help get my fat ass out of bed and into the gym at least three times a week. That's my goal.

I want to lose weight. I want to tone. I want to be healthier so the next time I see the doctor they aren't telling me the only alternative they see is going on insulin. This is my last chance. Keep your fingers crossed, 'kay?

Oh... and as a reward? If I reach my goals, then I'm going to take those piano lessons.

Fingers In The Pointing Position

2006-09-26T05:49:00.000-07:00

Ya know... before you start pointing fingers at my husband, your eldest son, and warming up to send him on a guilt trip because he didn't drive to Minnesota on Friday to the funeral of his 80-something-year-old-uncle-by-marriage that he's maybe only seen eight times his entire life and wasn't close to at all... you might want to turn that fickle finger of fate around and point it at yourself, missy... you who didn't fly home from Ireland when your own mother died.

All I'm sayin'.

Monday

2006-09-25T06:45:00.000-07:00

I got nuthin'... check back later.

Give Me a G...R...U..

2006-09-21T05:19:00.001-07:00

M..P...Y...! What does it spell? Yeah. Exactly. I'm going to rename this blog the "weather window". In case you didn't know it, farmers are obsessed with weather. To be honest, it does have a great deal to do with:

a.) how the crop grows
b.) if the crop can be planted and/or harvested and
c.) what are we gonna do today

Remember back when I was complaining about it being dry? The faucet has been turned on now and it seems to have a leak. Another 80% chance of rain today, tomorrow, and through the weekend. One of the big forecasters has us in another 2-3" range. Plus, the big OH SHIT at this time of the year, wind. We're supposed to have 45+ winds along with this system.

For those non-farm folk, this means the corn stalks that are all dried down and ripe for the combine to snap them off as it goes through the field... well, it's perfect for a high wind to snap off, too, and leave the ears on the ground. Not a good situation. Hubs has to go round up a different head for his combine today - one that is better at raking those downed ears into it. A lot of ears will still be lost, though. Plus the cost of the new head. Yes, crop insurance (which we pay through the nose for) will cover part of the grain loss, but it makes harvest that much harder, longer, and more stressful.

Is it any wonder I've had stomach pains for the past week? What does an ulcer feel like?...

Update: I added the radar map. This is what it looks like as of 2:25 p.m. cst - we live near Ames, right in the middle. Fun, fun, huh?

Frost on the Pumpkin

2006-09-20T05:49:00.000-07:00

Yup. You heard me. We got frost last night. That, along with the combine going into the field yesterday means fall has "officially" begun.

There is an 80% chance of 2" rain coming in tonight and tomorrow along with high winds. Please keep your fingers crossed this doesn't happen. Corn blown down to the ground is very hard to combine. Plus, it makes for a very grumpy husband.

I'm tired. How about you?

Sending the Love

2006-09-19T05:50:00.000-07:00

Go on over to 3T's place and wish her Happy Birthday. She's a really special lady who has been through hell and now gets her just rewards with a lovely hubs (read last Friday's post by him, if you don't believe me) and a bunch of good friends. She's a gem.

Monday Mutterings

2006-09-18T05:54:00.000-07:00

We won't talk about the football game. I SAID...we won't talk about the football game. *sigh* Other than that, Saturday was fun. Missed the girl, who had to work, but the rest of the gang made it and we had a great visit with everyone.

As usual, I didn't get near the stuff done I'd planned.

When I let the pups out at 5 a.m. today, I could see my breath! Do you know what this means? Yes...it's friggin' cold out! I can't believe the change in the weather. A high today of 57... and all week is supposed to be like this. Brrr! I noticed some trees in town starting to change, too. Of course, we got another 1-1/2 of rain over the weekend and the creek is full again and the fields are full of ponds and mud. I hope it dries out enough for harvest to be muck-free, but don't see that happening.

I don't have much for you now. Come back later. Maybe I'll be awake. Have a good Monday.

Talkin' To Myself

2006-09-15T05:53:00.000-07:00

One of those days when I got nothin'... and yet, I open my mind and things come out!

Remember the No Good Very Bad Day? Would you believe since that morning I have seen four deer crossing the road while on my way to work. Four different deer, four different times. Yes, I've been far enough away to stop. Yes, I still love deer. Still? Every single time this happens my stomach leaps into my throat and threatens to come out my eyeballs. My heart starts racing and I break out in a cold sweat. Yup, they scare the shit out of me every single time. You would think I'd get over this pretty soon. I mean, really...

Lukas? Fuck. Triple Fuck. Yeah, that's exactly what came out of my mouth as I watched the big finale on "Rockstar: Supernova" Wednesday night. It was a strange night when youngest son and his girlfriend stopped by and we ended up having pizza and watching this mind-fuck happen. I sat there in total disbelief, then chided myself for watching the whole train wreck in the first place. How many hours did I waste on this? So... was anyone else as surprised as I was? I was sure it would either be Toby or Dilena. I guess I'm showing my age, 'cause I just didn't think that guy had it. Oh, yeah, he looked the part, but I didn't think his voice was near as strong or as good as the others...

I've already mentioned the big game. Eldest son and his girlfriend will be coming. Youngest son and his girlfriend may be coming. Haven't gotten in touch with eldest daughter yet to know what she's got going, and youngest daughter has to work. After work today will be filled with a grocery store trip to stock up on munchies, then a bit of cleaning. No, not "vistors are coming" cleaning... geez... this is family. They only get the "I'm making it livable" cleaning.

Hubs read my post about guilt. He doesn't comment in the posts, preferring to comment "to my face"... I got the whole "you shouldn't feel guilty" speech. Yes, honey. I know. That's the whole point of the post. I really don't know why I've got it. Maybe, as 3t says, it's a mom-guilt-thing. God knows I have enough of those! Then again, I rather like Sizzle's comment about having enough hangups to fill a walk-in closet! Got me there, Siz! I'm still not doing very well at responding to comments, but trust me, I read every single one. More than once, usually. Yeah, I'm a little obsessive.

If you read this Director, thanks for letting me know what happened. I was worried. First the Bunny drops off the radar, then you! Please e-mail me so I can keep in touch with you two... Also, Darrell... d'ya know what's up with your son's site? If you talk to him, ask please. I know people leave, for whatever reason, but I hate it unless I have a clue what's happened. Maybe that's just my "meddling mama" mode, but it really bothers me when one day they are here and the next they are gone with not a word in-between. In one shocking case I had someone comment on my blog who I'd never heard from before. I went to their link, and in my normal anal fashion, proceeded to go into the archives and read their blog from day one. It took awhile, as they had several years of posts. I felt like I really got to know this person and liked them immensely. At one point, they had to change addresses, but had linked to it so I could follow along. Then... a last post which revealed no hint of it being the last. I searched in vain for another link, thinking they'd had to change it again. Nothing. In desperation, I wrote to a couple of the constant commenters in the hopes they could tell me what happened. Come to find out, he'd died. Suddenly. Without warning. On an operating table. He'd had cancer, which he'd never revealed in all of his posts, and he'd gone in for surgery on the cancer and died of a heart attack on the table. It stunned his family, friends, and people like me... just a person in cyberspace who had "met" him through this media. We don't realize how much we touch each other with just words. How powerful is that? In related news, Fresh finally revealed what happened in his world. Sounds like he got dooced. Damn. I hate when that happens. It just seems there should be a place in the world where we can get all the things rattling around in our brains out into the universe without being penalized for it. That's all I'm here for. Basic brain-cleaning 101.

Don't know if you ever look at my other blogs, but I do occasionally post there.

More blog friends going through stuff. This guy is STILL laid up. Go check him out and give him a hello. He could use the cheering. Nothing like bedrest for weeks on end to make ya grouchy, yet he manages to keep a good sense of humor. Poor Brad. He's getting the Dad indoctrination by ... no, not fire... the same type of ailment that Mama's little one just went through. She's all better now, though, thank goodness! I have to say, it's always worse to have our kids be sick than being sick ourselves...

Remember back in the middle of summer when I begged and pleaded for rain? Yeah, um... well... it's okay. Enough for now, thank you. We got 5+ inches last weekend and they are saying another inch or so possible this weekend. It needs to dry out a bit before we can harvest... which will be very soon. (Did I mention farmers are never happy? It's a known fact.) However, gasoline prices are the lowest in the nation here in Iowa. Go figure. Now if diesel would follow down that path... c'mon... pretty please? In related news, the lightening that hit our roof? The hole was fixed right away, but the water that leaked into my shower ceiling dried into a nice crack. Guess nothing's easy. We have a guy lined up to look at it and probably fix it (he's the guy who did the drywall when we built) but he's had a kid end up dehydrated in the hospital with flu, so he's been delayed. That's okay, it'll wait for him. He's right where he should be. Is there a bunch of stuff going around? You know, without little kids in the house anymore I feel a bit out of the loop... maybe not so much.

So much for now. I feel much better. How about you?

The Superbowl of Iowa

2006-09-15T05:36:00.000-07:00

This weekend is the big interstate rivalry between the University of Iowa in Iowa City and Iowa State University in Ames. Seeing as we live less than 10 miles from ISU, have two children who are alums of there, have worked on campus in the past, and like red much better than black... well, you can pretty well figure out who we'll be rooting for.

A local radio station had callers call in and give them jokes to use. I a couple of them amusing.

Q.What do Reverend Billy Graham and the U of I football players have in common?
A.They can both make a stadium of 50,000 people say "Jesus!"

Q.Why do U of I graduates put their diplomas in their car windows?
A.So they can park in the handicapped spots.

Anyone who knows me knows I love jokes, but have the worst memory for them in the world. I laughed all the way to work, then could only remember these two. Go figure.

Go Cyclones!

Flashback #5,782

2006-09-14T08:22:00.000-07:00

When I was young, the bugs liked me as much if not more than they do today. It was nothing to go through the summer covered in welts, with patches of orangey-pink calamine lotion slathered on and evening doses of Ben Gay ™ on the worst ones.

One particular summer stands out as the “bad” one when my bug bites started to swell into something worse – they became infected and turned into boils. At first my mother had a nurse friend come to lance the mini volcanos, but as the summer progressed and they kept coming, I was finally taken to a doctor.

Back then the word antibiotic was not on every three-year-old’s lips and every label throughout the grocery store. My mother was advised to buy Dial soap – the gold one. It was the only one of its kind. From that summer on I never used another soap until I was out of my parents’ house and make the reckless decision to buy a different kind.

Tonight I grabbed a washcloth from the pile I use to remove my makeup. You know, the ones I don’t care if I ruin with makeup stains. It was thread bare and I realized it was one that had been handed down from my mother sometime along the way. The combination of the worn washcloth, the summer breeze, and the night sounds coming in through the open window immediately took me back to gold Dial soap and camping with my parents.

I remember standing in a cold concrete shower stall in some campground in the middle of Estes Park in Colorado taking a shower in the middle of the night after a long day of traveling and an extended search for an open spot.

It was the summer we took the Chevy station wagon camping. Being an only child, I was designated the front seat, and my parents would sleep in the back which my mother had lovingly furnished with hand-sewn curtains while the rest of the camping supplies had been delegated a bear-friendly spot on the picnic table, covered with a tarp. Every day we would change campgrounds and each day became the unpacking and packing adventure of a lifetime. (This was also when I was exposed to my first taste of coffee. My mother had forgotten to bring cocoa for me, and in her infinite wisdom deemed it necessary to push hot coffee down my throat on these very chilly mountain mornings. Once. Uh. No. To this day I love the smell, but can’t stand the taste.)

There is no point to this story… Just a brief flashback to an 8-year-old standing in a cold concrete shower with a worn washcloth and a bar of gold Dial soap on a family camping trip. I wish I knew then what I know now.

Guilt: The Gift That Keeps on Giving*

2006-09-13T05:58:00.000-07:00

I was not raised Catholic, nor am I Jewish, but they’ve got nothin’ on me in the guilt department.

Hubs and I have an odd relationship, to some. For us, it works. It is probably deep-seated in my “only child syndrome”. That’s what he calls it. It fits. Yes, I’m an only child. No, I don’t like to share, and I have always been able to keep myself entertained. I have four children, a husband, three dogs and five cats. I still don’t like to share. Go figure.

A typical evening will revolve around the television. His and mine. Yes, two different televisions, two different rooms. He is a junkie for the Military Channel, the History Channel, NASCAR racing, an occasional football or basketball game, and every rerun ever shown of “The Hunt for Red October”… or “Danny Boy”. Yeah, he likes John Candy, too. Strange combination, but it works for him.

Me? I’m more into the BBC Mysteries, CSI’s, Lost, and feed in most of the dramas on television that actually have a plot. I don’t watch the reality shows after the second season of Survivor I got bummed out by the plotting and scheming and decided most of it was probably staged anyway. I’d rather watch my plotting and scheming by professionals, thank you very much. I also don’t like commercials, so am known to tape (no TIVO) the shows I want to see, then do marathons of jammie days when I’ll watch hours (okay, maybe months) of tapes at a time.

So he takes over the living room (or the family room and the big-screen TV when he remembers it’s there) and I am usually found in the master bedroom, or in the wintertime when I want to be near a fireplace I go to whichever room he’s not using, be it living room or family room. No, I’m not trying to avoid my husband. It just works out that way. (Throughout the evening, we’ll generally drift through on the way to the kitchen or the bathroom or just make a lap to make sure the other one knows we’re still there.) Generally, while I watch TV I’m cross-stitching or crocheting or knitting or doing something like that. Multi-tasking is my middle name. If I’m not watching TV I’m reading or on my laptop computer playing WoW (World of Warcraft).

Herein lays the guilt.

When my daughter and her husband got me into this game, I played a lot. It was a new experience and fun and something I was better at than I ever thought I could be. For all my computer experience over the years (did I mention we started with a Commodore 64 and thought it was really something?) I’d never gotten into computer games. I never felt comfortable with the controllers of the Nintendo or the Playstations, so it didn’t become something I ever felt I could do. (Okay, I did / do have a Gameboy and a Tetris champ I was, but that’s about it. That can hardly qualify as “computer game”.) WoW was not only a fun game, (as a computer geek I was amazed at the graphics and attention to detail), but because of the chat features, I was able to talk to my daughter daily – in real time – as well as play with her. It was great. I was hooked. I found out my elder son and his girlfriend were both playing and I got my other daughter involved. At the time she was living out of state and again, it became a terrific thing to be able to get online and play and chat every night.

When we got together, we would all start talking about the game. We’d talk about the other people we knew who played, and we even had some who we were meeting in real life! (…and did! It was great!) It started out slowly, a comment here, a comment there, and pretty soon it became a full-out statement from Hubs: Stop Talking About WoW. Can’t we talk about anything else? Um…yeah… I guess.

I became self-conscious about WoW. I started watching when and how much I talked about the game… or the people in it. I started being uncomfortable when Hubs would come home from work and find me playing, or would come into the room after dinner and I would be playing instead of watching some crap on TV. Not wanting to sneak around behind his back, I just stopped playing unless I went to my daughters’ house or I knew Hubs would be gone for the evening to the races or some other pre-occupation that took him away from home.

Now, before you all start yelling at Hubs for this, let me remind you that he did nothing. This was ME. This is my own self-imposed guilt.

I don’t understand why I feel this way. I don’t understand why the guilt is so strong. I haven’t done anything wrong! I know this! It’s a terrific and creative game and I’ve had so much fun playing with everyone… I’m known as the “guild mom” … the one who asks everyone the questions and gets to know them better. I’m more out-going on WoW than I ever can be in person (until I get to know you). It’s very freeing. So why the guilt?

I swear I’ve got enough hang-ups to fill a closet.

*Erma Bombeck

He's a Baaaad Influence

2006-09-12T08:44:00.000-07:00

Once again, Andy has become a bad influence. Here I was, all ready to post a lovely tale from my childhood when I made the mistake (bad, bad mistake) of going to read some blogs first. Here are some anagrams (a very, very tiny sampling) made from MY blog name. Of course these could use some punctuation, use your imagination, people!! Feel free to vote for your favorite.

a gophers tent
rent pet hogs
strange pet ho
rage then stop
great pet nosh
parents get ho
spatter en hog
hag en protest
hags rent poet
grasp thee not
trash get open

I know what MY personal favorite is. I'll tell ya tomorrow.

Update: My fav is number 10. grasp thee not. There are just those days when I feel I have no clue whatsoever.

September 11

2006-09-11T05:19:00.000-07:00

We remember.

Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend*

2006-09-07T06:57:00.000-07:00

I'm in a quandry. Opening myself up to some advice here, people. This is the situation:

I have a friend (this may be the quandry) who I've known for several years. When we met, she was applying for a job that I had held and I was part of the interviewing process. Then I became her trainer (not her boss) and over time and many conversations on breaks and over lunches, I found out she had lived in the same town I did at one point in my life as a child... and she had a couple of children. Things we had in common. Gradually, time passed and her husband began cheating on her, and our conversations were based on all the issues and emotions that pass through a family when there is such infidelity... and divorce. I was her support system through it all and beyond. On into the future when she found another man, got married (I was her matron of honor), and moved away.

We didn't talk often, but got together whenever she would come back to town. One thing that became an uncomfortable issue with me was the fact that she was still so "worldly". She had a college degree (I do not) and she and another mutual friend (who had a college degree) would carry on these long, elaborate conversations about the "high-falutin" books they'd read or the lectures they'd attended on the campuses they worked at. (We'd met when we all worked on campus here, but I'd left to pursue a job with more potential.) Now, I'm not dumb. I may play one on TV, but I am not a dumb woman. However, the more time passed and the more conversations we had, the less interested I was in the things we talked about. We had less and less in common.

I began avoiding her. I would be busy when she would come through town. I would think of reasons why I couldn't meet with them. It just wasn't a comfortable situation.

I felt bad. She had always come to my kids' graduation parties, weddings, whatever. She'd make the effort, drive the 3 hours, and come. Me? I went to her eldest sons' graduation, but missed the younger ones'.

A couple of other developements have made me step back. The first was when she became a Pampered Chef "consultant". Every communication has to have this link to the "job". No, this is not her main job... she's a teacher. This is just the part of her life that she has chosen to get involved in and spread across the land. I don't know how many times she told me they did "wedding showers" when my daughter was getting married. I know they do. My daughter, however, is not the 'girlie' type who gets into all that crap and had no interest in having a shower like that. I politely told my friend this. More than once.... and yet, she still kept coming. Besides the fact that I have a personal "law" that says I don't. Do. Parties. You know, Tupperware, Longenberger baskets, etc.... I don't. Do. That. My friend knows this, and yet...

Okay, now the second huge development. She's evidently found GOD. Yes, that must be in capitals. GOD. Now whatever e-mail, christmas letter, or other sundry communication I get from her, not only must have some scripture, quote, or cutsie little churchie picture made out of commas and periods and whatever other keystrokes will make it, but we get that plus the Pampered Chef stuff. I swear, the few things she actually says are so overwhelmed by the rest of the "messages" she's trying to get across (Serve GOD... sell Pampered Chef) that I cringe when I see her name in the e-mail. (Do NOT send me hate mail about this. I have nothing against people who serve and believe in God in their own ways. It is the method to the madness that I am objecting to here.)

I hadn't heard from her for awhile. It really didn't bother me. I figured she was mad that I hadn't made it to her son's graduation and I just went on with my life... Uh... Hello! I made the mistake of forwarding her a cute e-mail that I thought she'd appreciate (no, I normally do not do this and I now know why because God is punishing me for doing so this one time...). I get a message back. She didn't get in touch because my e-mail address had changed and she hadn't caught that message. Oh. Doh.

Now she wants to talk. She wants to know everything that's going on. How do I get out of this? How do I say, we really do not have anything in common anymore and it makes me uncomfortable to talk to you and I am a bad person but I just don't want to be friends. I am sooo going to hell. Have you ever had this happen? What did you do? Do you all think I'm a horrible person now?

*Agatha Christie

New Friends and Refreshed Links

2006-09-06T05:49:00.000-07:00

As busy as I've been, I've still found time to have new blog connections. Go figure. Go visit these people and give 'em a minute of your time... I also updated my list and found a lot of people I haven't visited in awhile are gone or on a break. Amazing how much this happens. I guess I've been known to miss a week or two, but to just stop? I think it would be hard to do... Hope the ones who are just "on a break" will come back!! *hint* *hint*

Nicole over at Sleepyfroggie. I love her "love story"... reminds me a bit of my own! Plus she loves animals, so of course I'm gonna like her immediately!

The Gorby Corner is a great site started by Helen to raise money for the RSPCA. Good reason. Great dog.

Over at Dad Gone Mad you can check out a man's perspective. We don't get that often enough, sad to say...

Remember, Em (Not Dorothy) has moved. Her new site is Mellow Chaos.

For yummy recipes from a former chef, as well as kitty tales and facinating poetry and stories, slip on over to Michael's blog Recipes for Life.

It's Official: I'm Getting Old

2006-09-06T05:39:00.000-07:00

I've always prided myself of being open-minded. I can see many points of view and am open to many ideas. It's about the only way I can see the six-year difference in Hubs' and my ages. He isn't quite as open-minded about some things and I chalk that up to his age.

Well, I've found my limit. I've seen the point where I am hitting the wall... and saying, I accept it. I must be old now. I watched ABC's "limited series" The Outsiders last night. I have seen the point where my mind has suddenly clamped shut tighter than a nuns' legs. I can't accept The Lifestyle. I listened to these people justifying their choice to have sex with everyone and anyone and telling us it was "just sex" and it was "improving the relationship with their spouse". Uh huh. Okay. Whatever. I'm not buying it.

So, what do you think? Am I just being close-minded? Am I just getting old?

The Long Non-Existant Weekend

2006-09-05T05:57:00.000-07:00

It's Monday? Um...no. It sure feels like it, tho'!

Friday night I played. I went to my daughter's house and played WoW. Fun? Hell yes! I think we end up talking almost more than we do playing... that's a good time, let me tell you.

Saturday we spent half the day getting ready to go camping and racing and the other half getting unready. (Is that a word?) It rained. Buckets. The rain came straight down for hours... and it was nice. The races were rained out, consequently the camping got rained out, therefore... no camping with MIL. Whoot! It's all good.

Saturday night Em, Hubs and I went to dinner at our favorite steak house then to the movie "Invincible" with Mark Wahlberg. There is something about that guy that reminds us of our eldest son. (I'd link him but he never updates his blog anymore... *hint*) It turned out to be a pretty good movie, considering I do not like sports much... or sports movies. But am always willing to root for an underdog (except Rocky... I've had my fill of that clown... and another one? Plluueeaszzee! Give it a rest!). Was a nice evening out.

Sunday and Monday I spent torn between household chores and crafts - watching shows I'd taped. I managed to wash windows and curtains (something long overdue) and worked my way through about six months of "Mystery Monday" shows from the BBC-America. I love BBC shows. Hubs can't stand them. Thinks they're soooo boring. Me? I think they have intrigue and interesting stories without all the car chases, shoot-em-ups and gratuitous sex. Not that I have a thing against any of that! Plus I'm a sucker for an accent.

Last night the big, week-long, national dirt track races started nearby. My son isn't racing it this year, as the car he's been driving is on the sale block (they thought they had it sold to someone who actually was going to race this week, but he backed out) so he's being a spectator and cheering on some friends. The race Saturday was to be the season finish for the regular track he races on, but now the race has been postponed for a couple of weeks and he won't have a car to race it. I think he's okay with that... He was track champion for his class (stock car) last year and now that he's changed classes (a-modified) he wasn't in it enough to get the points needed. However, rumor has it he may be up for rookie of the year in that class...! At any rate, Hubs, son, and dil2b went to the races last night and had a good time. MIL was not invited... and I don't think she even knew they were going. Hubs came home in a jovial mood. Was a nice change.

On that thought. Saturday night? When we went out? Son and friends had prepared food and a keg to take to the track for the season end race. It's rather a tradition. So, when it was rained out they decided just to have everyone over to the shop to eat and drink. Although we had other plans and didn't go, guess who did? You guessed it. MIL. She hung out with them all. night. long. Talk about a wet blanket. Poor guys...

Last, but not least, I want to mention some people who need some hugs. Please go over to Amy's site and tell her it's gonna be okay. They got some bad news over the weekend and it's rough... she doesn't deserve this. Also, Deb has lost a loved one. Very unexpectedly. And last, but certainly not least, Helen is posting. Heartbreakingly sad, but posting. There is nothing we can say to make it better, but please say a prayer in your heart for these people. They need some peace in their lives. We (I) bitch a lot, but know I am very, truly blessed.

September 1

2006-09-01T12:12:00.000-07:00

Fall has officially begun. I realize, to the calendar people, it isn't for another three weeks. That is insignificant to me. To me, this is the day it begins. It used to be (long, long ago) that children did not go back to school "in the fall" until after Labor day. That is the weekend the city swimming pool would close, the white shoes would be religated to the winter off, and the air conditioning would officially end for the summer season. Labor day weekend was the last big "push" at the camp grounds and theme parks, knowing that those kiddies would be sitting in classrooms the following week.

Everything changes. School for my grandson began two weeks ago. Two. That's just unreal. The theme parks stay open on weekends for another month or so, and the white shoes? Well, I wear white tennis shoes practically every day of my life, so that's not gonna change.

I, too, have noticed the light changing. It no longer is light at 5 a.m. when the puppies and I go out. It no longer is light at 8 p.m. when they go out for the last time at night. Although my maple trees haven't started to change, I have seen evidence of others along the roadside (as I'm watching for those pesky suicidal deer). The corn and beans are changing - some so fast that I've been notified we could be in the field combining in a couple of weeks.

This makes it fall. Officially. The harvest will begin. I love fall... I love so many things about it. Even the harvest, although it becomes a mind-numbing track meet of trying to make sure everyone is where they need to be and has the food/snacks/beverages to see them through to the end. I barely see my Hubs, unless he's sitting in the cab of a pickup eating a sandwich... covered with grain dust and bags under his eyes.

I love the leaves changing and the gardens putting out their final burst of color right before the frost takes it all out. The smell of leaves and wood-burning fireplaces fill the air and I can cuddle with the kitties in front of my 'fake' fireplace, warm just the same. The sweaters and sweatshirts come out and I no longer agonize over the "tummy roll" that I just can't seem to hide in summer wear. The breadmaker gets put back into use and the crock pot is filled with stew and soups and 'comfort' food.

It's supposed to rain this weekend and have a high temperature of only 70. That, to me, is saying Fall. We're going to camp at the races. We're going to have the RV. Yes, we're going to have MIL. It's not going to be as good as a cup of hot cocoa in front of the fireplace, but I'll make it work... It's going to be okay. I'm just going with that thought for the rest of the day...

Uh-oh

2006-08-31T09:18:00.000-07:00

My mother-in-law just found out we're thinking about camping at the racetrack Saturday night. She's already chittering and chattering at Hubs about going. It came out in conversation that my brother-in-law and his family are camping this weekend. So why isn't she camping with them?!?!?! Hubs even asked her. She wouldn't answer.

Skeet for Dummies

2006-08-31T05:53:00.000-07:00

This would be my neighbor. This would be my neighbor at 8 o'clock last night. After dark. Shooting. What the hell is he shooting? It's dark. It isn't like he's shooting the random racoon or possum off of his deck... or squirrel for his supper. Unless he is a horrible shot and it takes him twenty times to hit the damn thing.

I suspect he shoots skeet. I suspect he does it with a group of people, either that or he has several guns loaded and goes from one to the next without hesitation. There are too many shots that go off too close together to be one person shooting, then reloading.

I suspect he's getting ready for the long weekend. It seems long weekends are made for him to shoot. All. Day. Long. ...and into the night. He has become the worst thing about living in the country. Him and his gun. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind hunters or an occasional practice session... but it is like Chinese water torture (not that I've ever had Chinese water torture)... one shot after another echoing through the countryside. Over and over and over again. Even the pups spooked last night when they were out and the shooting resumed!

Yeah, I'm grumpy. Tired and grumpy. Asshat.

Sometimes There Are No Words

2006-08-30T05:32:00.000-07:00

My heart is breaking today for Helen.

"Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken"*

2006-08-29T07:04:00.000-07:00

So... I have to drive my Hubs to town this morning. He has his full-strength-caffiene-coffee-to-go. He is Awake. Morning is his time. He's fresh and awake and chatty. Have I mentioned I am not a morning person?

I. Am. Not. a morning person. I do not drink coffee. I used to drink Pepsi in the morning, but since I've been banned from it, I no longer have caffiene to stimulate my senses and get me ready for the day. I wake, usually to the low growling and quiet woofing of my pups politely letting me know they want to go use the outside facilities. They have internal alarm clocks that unfailingly read 5:15 a.m. I stumble out in the dark morning in my pj's and wait patiently on the porch, hoping this will not be the morning they get a wild hair to go running down the drive or play ... ignoring all my pleas and barking to return to the house. That is the extent of our conversation - "Good Dog" and "C'Mon...let's go!"...occasionally, "Damnit, we aren't going to play this game this morning!"

Back inside, I shower, dress, dry and fix my hair, and put my face on. Do the dishes (if I've been lax the night before), fold some laundry, make the bed, pick up the house a bit, possibly pay a bill, then I tell the pups "good bye" and "be good", pet the cats, kiss the Hubs, and dash out the door. After six years, the guys at work have learned not to talk to me... for at least an hour. They ignore me, beyond "good morning", and wait patiently for some alertness to dawn in my eyes. Woe is the ~~man~~ person who gets into a heated discussion with me first thing in the morning.

Which brings me to this morning. "Chatty Cathy" (aka Hubs) was talking to me all the way to town. Some conversation was repeated, which is fine... I'm known to repeat myself from time to time. A nodding of the head, a brief "uh huh" or "nuh uh" is required. I can handle that. But then came the moment. The one in which I am trying to talk and drive at the same time and he is giving me the hand signals. You know... the "I'm the passenger, but I really want to be the driver" signals. Yes, dear... I see the truck. Yes, dear... I know he wants to turn. I should go? I was trying to let him go first, I was trying to be the polite driver. Oh? I'm to stay in this lane? I am. I never left this lane. I wasn't going to turn into that lane. I CAN talk and drive at the same time... even first thing in the morning. (And he accuses ME of having A.D.D.!)

Needless to say, we did not end the drive on a good note. He made the critical mistake. He talked to me in the morning. We've been together for 27 years. He's supposed to know this by now. What? My fault? Me? ... oh... yeah, I suppose. Sorry, sweetie. I'm awake now.

*unknown author

The One Where the Nightmare Comes True

2006-08-27T11:54:00.000-07:00

So... have I mentioned I get anxious in situations where I am expected to actually talk to people? You know, live ones? I usually leave the talking to my spouse, who is one of those chameleons who can talk to anyone. Occasionally I accuse him of "dummying down" to get along, and he admits it, but it is a very effective trick he's perfected and it serves him quite well.

I'm shy. I'm painfully shy. I always have been. You'd never know it from my blog, or from my WoW friends, but I am. Deep within the bowels of a computer I can be a very chatty, out-going person, but in the real world? Not so much. At least until I get to know you. However do I get to know you if I'm shy and can't get the words out of my mouth to ask you the questions and carry on the conversation necessary to get to know you? Ah... Now you see the dilemma.

Fast forward to Saturday night. Being as it is a saturday night, son is racing and Hubs is with him. That's just the way it is. My husband and I both feel it isn't just for enjoyment that my husband be there, but also it's a safety factor. If someone must take son to the hospital, one of us must be there to fulfill that duty. I prefer it to be him... as he enjoys the racing, too. I am 'on call' however, to race to said hospital at a moments' notice. I am not fully relaxed and in my jammies until I know the car is safely on the trailer and the race night is over for my son.

Saturday night we were invited to a wedding reception. Hubs told his friend, who's reception it was, that he would not be there and why. I was going to go to "represent". First you must know that this is said friends' second marriage. He was reluctant to even get married again and they have been living "in sin" for about five years. They actually got married last week at the courthouse, so this has all been rather down-played. Nonetheless, it was a wedding reception. At a local country club.

I fight down my normal panic throughout the day. I imagine telling them I suddenly got sick. I tell myself that wouldn't be nice and buck up and get through this. I keep telling myself it will be okay to drive home after dark, that the law of averages says I've hit my one deer for the year. It will be okay.

I do my nails, I lay out my clothes, I shower, put on my lovely new slinky skirt, blouse and blazer and even wear the dreaded panty hose. Only another woman can know what I mean when I say dreaded. Thank god I work in a job (now) that I don't ever have to wear them. Thank all the stars in heaven I can wear jeans to work! I do know how to play dress-up, tho', and can when I have to. I put on my face, spritz some of my trademark perfume on all the 'hot spots', and brace myself for smiling and small-talk.

The first clue should have been the flat tire.

I go out to the garage to get my vehicle and see the tire is flat. Okay, to be fair, not entirely flat, but low. Too low to drive out of town to the reception. Fine. Hubs has ridden with his mother to the races, his truck is sitting there. I call and see if I can borrow it. No problem... except it probably will need fuel. It's a diesel truck and you can't get diesel just anywhere. Do I really want to have to mess with getting fuel? Dressed the way I am? Em! Is home! I beg her to let me borrow her vehicle. She agrees. Whew!

I stop and wash her truck on the way out of town. (You can never ever be seen with a dirty vehicle...especially at some type of party. This is one of the small-town-silly-rules.) I take deep breaths and check my map. Again. I've not been to this country club before, but am pretty sure I know how to find it. Piece of cake.

Thirty minutes later I am pulling into the country club parking lot. According to the invite, the party started about 15 minutes ago, but I figure it is one of those where people are going to be coming and going all evening... I stop the car, gather up my purse and the card (no gifts, said the invite), and wait, there in the back row of the parking lot, watching the other people walking in. Watching the other people walking in with cards in their hands and c a s u a l clothing on their bodies. Wtf? Maybe it was just those two couples... no, wait, there comes another one... jeans, no less. Oh, shit. I look at the invite once more, scouring every single line of print to see if the word 'casual' appears. It doesn't. Not once. Somehow word of mouth has gotten around and it is clear as mud that casual is the theme of this party. As I sit in my slinky dress and hose with my heart racing in my chest, I realize I can't do this. I'm having an all-out panic attack. It's bad enough having to walk into a.) somewhere I've never been, with b.) alone, c.) without knowing hardly anyone there, let alone to do it improperly dressed. Nothing like drawing attention!

This is where you can start cackling. Yes, I was a chicken. I called Hubs who told me I should just go in anyway and be the "best looking one there". Me? I turned around and slunk out of the parking lot, thanking the gods that be that I had a vehicle no one would recognize and hoping the three other vehicles who were coming in as I was going out was no one I knew - but of course, I didn't meet the drivers' eyes to see if it was or not. I drove home, cursing the ball of self-conciousness that is me, and wishing I could just fall into a hole. Home never felt so good or so safe. So... how's your weekend going?

The No Good Very Bad Day

2006-08-25T05:44:00.000-07:00

Warning: Not to be read while eating or if you have a weak stomach.

I hope today improves. It has to.

I hit a deer on the way to work, less than 1/4 mile from my house. It came out of no where and by the time I saw it, I was squarely aiming for it's side. Amazing what damage going 40 mph can do hitting an object that size (it wasn't tiny). I had my "beater" car, and felt a big whoosh! as I hit... glass from the headlights tinkling and pieces of the grill shattering all over the place. One minute the deer was there, the next it was gone. Sitting at a standstill, I tried to get out of the car to see what damage there was, but the door wouldn't open. My nerves jarring, I looked out over my ... well, not so straight hood. I realized it had buckled and was probably pushed into the edge of the door, causing it to be blocked. Fearing if I got it open I wouldn't get it closed, I decided to limp it home, since it was still running. Steam was coming out from under the hood, but I figured as close to home as I was it would be okay.

I turned around, looking to see if I could see signs of the deer anywhere... hoping it wasn't as bad as it seemed. No signs. Maybe it was going to be okay?

As I drove home, another huge buck lept across the road. I watched it, to see if it stopped - perhaps noticing the other one, but it kept going. I got home and slid across the bench seat to the passenger door which worked fine. I walked around front and felt sick. The whole grill is gone, as well as the headlights on the driver's side and the hood is pushed in. The worst? It had um..."stuff"... on it. I'm guessing stomach contents. Looked a lot like chewed up grass. Ugh.

I call Hubs at coffee and break the bad news to him. Yeah, I'm okay. Yeah, at least it was the beater. Okay, I'm going to get my good car and head to work now...

I go exceptionally slowly through the area where I hit the deer. I'm hoping not to see anything. I realize that I'm probably going to see a dead deer. I steel myself for this... then, I see it. It's not dead, but it's not in good shape. It's thrashing in the ditch, trying to get to it's feet. I know this can't be good. After the way my car looked, it's going to die. Why couldn't it have died quickly? I'm tormented with that thought as I call my husband again. I'm crying as I try to tell him what I see. He thinks at first I'm upset about the car... then he gets it. He's lived with me enough years to know what's really going on. He promises me he'll take care of it. Have I mentioned I love this guy?

Today has to get better. It just has to. I can't feel much worse at this point.

(Update: He just called. The deer was dead when he got there. )

Sorry~

2006-08-24T19:13:00.000-07:00

Two long posts today. Be sure and read them both. I need some input!!!

Mind or Body?

2006-08-24T06:36:00.000-07:00

I'm having a quandry. I'm trying to decide what I want to do with the minimal amount of time I have left in my day. Seriously, there is no minimal amount of time left in my day... and will be even less when the harvest begins, but I have a couple of things I've been debating on doing and I can't make up my mind which is more important. I think I know, but maybe I'm just too close to the situation. I welcome your input.

Option I: The Mind
From my earliest recollection, I loved music. All music. My parents would have Montovani, Jackie Gleason, or Andy Williams playing during dinner. I would sneak to the basement on Saturday afternoon to soak up American Bandstand on our 12" black and white TV. (Yes, kids, there were things called black and white TV). I had a little am radio that I would sit in my corner of the basement and rock and listen to until my mother would yell at me to get out of the house and go play...and from my earliest recollection, I loved guitar music and piano music.

I've told the story of ending up with a trumpet... and how years later in my adulthood I would finally learn to play the piano. Unfortunately, I've long forgotten all that I learned. I don't know how it happened, but lack of time led me to let it slip away. I've regretted that decision. Lately I've been contemplating taking lessons again. It just so happens my best friend is my piano teacher and she never pushes me a bit, but has said she can always fit me in. I would need to get the piano tuned... a piano that is much better than the one I learned on, thanks to her. We bought it at a ridiculously reasonable price when she got a new one. I've never really played this good one! It would mean hours of practice. If I do something, I want to do it well. It would mean spending more time with a friend that I e-mail each and every day, but rarely see any more (due to my anti-social tendencies?). It would mean music to feed my soul.

Option II: The Body
My body is junk. I'm falling apart before my eyes. I'm not the person I used to be, thanks to the passage of time, gravity, and a love of all things lethargic. I used to be in good shape when I was young. I used to ride my bike everywhere, walk when I couldn't ride, and was a skinny little thing. I remember those days of energy and boundless enthusism. Okay, I remember the days of energy... I'm not sure I ever was enthusiastic.

Everything I do, every hobby I have, involves no physical activity to speak of. I sit at a computer every day, all day long. In my free time, I ... sit at a computer... or, read, cross-stitch, crochet, rubber stamp, and watch TV or movies (some of these can be done in conjuntion with each other). I do the normal house-wifey things like cook, and clean, which involves physical activity, but in minimal doses. Same with gardening. I go in spurts, but in no way does it constitute long term "exersize". I walk my 50-lb beagle, but he goes slower than I do. I ride my stationary bike. A little. I fall down. A lot. Injuries to my ankles and feet and wrists and back are common. I could lose a few pounds... okay, probably quite a few pounds. At least a beagle's worth.

Now that Em (don't forget! she has a new blog!) has moved home and changed jobs to one less physical, she's been wondering about joining a gym to keep in shape. We've had some talks about it. Several years ago when I worked at a job on campus and a girlfriend and I who worked in the same office would go to the gym on campus after work. It was handy, being right next to our parking lot, and we would go in all pumped up to get in shape. This was the old gym, the one with the free weights and the weight machines that were not automated. We each had a weight key and lifting gloves and amidst the raging testosterone and sweating twenty-something muscle bound college men, we two middle-aged married ladies would try and make ourselves transform into something better. It worked for awhile, and I probably was in the best shape of my life, strength wise. I was getting toned and fit... and then... life changes and I got a different job and she got a different job and we no longer had access to the gym or to each other and it never fails to amaze me how fast that toned body can melt back into goo.

I had my doctor appointment Wednesday. My blood pressure is a bit high. My blood sugar is a lot high. My ankle is still swollen from falling out of the RV. (I knew it was still twinging a bit now and then, but didn't realize it was still swollen!) My doc is waiting for some tests to come back to see if she's going to put me on insulin. It isn't the end of the world, but it's a sign that things are getting worse. I'm too young for this shit. I love my family, my critters, even this stupid blog-stuff, and I want to be around for a long time to see how the story ends.

I think Em is going to be around for awhile. She's going back to school this month, and at the moment living with us. I don't see that changing for awhile. She's in pretty good shape (oh, who am I kidding - she's in GREAT shape) but has promised not to leave me in the dust. The gym we're thinking of has three locations in our town, plus one has an olympic sized pool. Have I mentioned I love to swim? As long as I can get over my phobia about me. In. A. Swimming. Suit. I love the water. I could use the exersize for so many reasons, and I know if I had my coach urging me on (and hopefully, I could do the same for her) I think I would actually use the facilities. These are all pluses.

Okay, there are the options. Discuss among yourselves and let me know what you decide. I'm putty in your hands.

You Can't Kill 'Em - Special Edition - You Be the Judge

2006-08-24T05:31:00.000-07:00

Observe the following behavior:

-Name calling (not bad names, but cutesy irreverent names)
-Using things without asking (vehicles, tools, shop supplies, basically anything they can get their hands on)
-Never see 'em unless they have a problem or want something.
-Taking things that don't belong to them (in the real world, I believe this is called theft)
-Unreliable (saying they'll do one thing and then not completeing the job or doing it half-assed)

Now, is it just me or would all of these things rolled into one family piss you off? I've probably left a thing or two off of this list, but this is my brother-in-law and his family. The name calling? I swear he doesn't know my husbands' name. When he calls and asks for him on the phone, he's always got some stupid cutesy name to call him - always. C'mon people, at least one of you is in his 50's and the other one is in his late 40's. Grow up already. This is not a revered childhood name, just whatever stupid name he's thought up at the time.

The latest fiasco? Involves aluminum beverage cans. Here in Iowa we have a 5 cent can refund. You pay it up front and get it back when you turn in the empty cans at a recycling center (hence the term "refund") . The recycling center gives you a huge cardboard box with large plastic liner bags in which to facilitate this exchange. My hubs keeps one at his shop, and we collect cans at our home which he then may either take to the shop and put in the bigger sack, or just take in when he takes in the rest. A filled sack can get you something in the range of $20. It's worth doing.

Yesterday, Hubs walks in his shop to see the younger ~~brat~~ nephew lugging a filled sack of cans out the other door. WTF?

Hubs: what's up?
BIL: (nephew) is getting the cans
Hubs: I don't think so.
BIL: ...
Hubs: Those are my cans, I take them in, and I collect the money. I don't recall saying (nephew) could have them.
BIL: ... (mouth hanging open with dumb look on face - note:he does this expression quite well, has had years of practice)

Hubs said BIL left the farm a bit later throwing gravel all over from his spinning wheels. His mother was nearby (MIL). He asked her what (brother) was so upset about.

MIL: I guess something was said down at the shop that disturbed him
Hubs: Well, the last time I looked, I didn't go into town and scrounge around their place for something to sell.

I'm sorry if I come off being a bitch. I really am. I'd like nothing better than to be able to get along with my Hubs' family. Much as this woman has trouble with her asshat neighbor, I have these battles raging inside of what I should be feeling toward my in-laws and what I actually do feel. It seems every time I let the "good" angel sitting on my shoulder talk me into making the attempt to get along, they do something else to my family (remember this one?) and it just drives me right over the wall again. It's one thing if they don't like me, but it pisses the hell out of me when they treat my husband and family this way.

When my father-in-law was alive, this was his shop. His gas barrels outside. His electric, heating, and insurance bills. What he chose to do with his equipment and his building was his choice. As a father, he chose to open it up to his younger son to use. He provided his son with free fuel, and an open-door policy on the equipment. I have no problem with that. It was his son! My husband, the elder son, farmed and worked with his dad and he put a hoist in the shop to work on vehicles in the off-season, as well as collecting a vast amount of (not cheap) tools. Of course, he had no problem with his father using the tools and equipment as they worked together and it was a joint venture. Mutual respect.

When my FIL died eleven years ago, everything changed. Everything in the shop building that my husband didn't own, we bought from my MIL. Everything. The farm equipment, the shop equipment. Everything. We don't pay "rent" on the building, as such, but we pay all the utilities for the shop and my MIL's home, as well as the insurance. We pay for all the supplies stored within... the oil, the filters, the nuts, bolts, screws, and washers. Everything.

The first thing my husband did was to change the locks on the shop and put a lock on the fuel barrel, giving keys to only those people who needed one. We provided one for MIL (which she proceeded to use for many years, fueling up her car and mower at our expense), the hired help (one of their perks), and our kids. OUR kids. Who was one of the first people to complain? Yep...you got it. BIL. He couldn't understand why the barrel was locked. He complained about the shop being locked, so MIL made him a key. He complained that Hubs locked his toolbox, so MIL chewed out Hubs, making his life miserable until he started leaving it unlocked again. No, he never did get a key for the fuel barrel... although he tried the ruse of saying he needed it to fuel up Mom's mower that he borrows. Uh huh. Yes, we provided fuel to her to mow her yard, but you think we're going to let you take it, full of fuel, to your house... mow... then come back and fill it on our nickel? You're NUTS. I can understand your dad letting you have all this stuff, but c'mon! You're 40-something years old and you are NOT OUR SON. We shouldn't have to pay your way!

In their minds (Hubs' sister and her family are the same way, only they don't live closeby) it's still "Dad's" shop. Still open to come and go as they please, to use it and anything in it at any time they chose, without asking. Using the tools and supplies with no thought to who has to pay for them.BIL uses all the oxygen? Oh, (Hubs), you're out of oxygen. More often than not, he doesn't even bother to tell him he used it all... it's just "surprise!" when Hubs or our son, now working with him, go to use something and it's gone. It does no good to tell BIL to replace it... he just says his wife has his checkbook, or she hasn't given him any money, or he just puts it off until it's needed and can't wait for him to replace it. Trust me, he's got this mooching thing down to a science.

Obviously, he's training his children well. Me? I'm getting pretty darn tired of it. I've stayed out of the whole mess as much as possible, mostly because of some things that have been said since I had my breakdown. I just steer clear of him and his as much as humanly possible and bite my tongue bloody trying to keep civil. What do you say when your husband calls up ranting and raving because the "asshats" have struck again? Those are the times I bless the stars I'm an only child...

I swear, I'm going to go off on them one day... and it won't be pretty. What would YOU do?

Quick! Go Look!

2006-08-23T15:49:00.000-07:00

She's moved!

The Chicken House

2006-08-22T06:53:00.000-07:00

A strange thing has happened at our old house. First, the landlord put new siding on. This is a miracle. Trust me. We had that house painted several times over the past 30 years and it never stuck. We had professionals come and look at it and make sure the painter had taken off the old paint right, prepped correctly, and used the best paint a large name-brand company can sell. No go. Within a few months, large chunks of paint would literally fall off the side. The landlord kept bemoaning the fact it needed painting and would procrastinate so years would pass and our house would look like some dump, on it’s last legs. It didn’t matter that we planted trees and flower beds and kept the large (5 acre) lawn mowed to perfection, because when the house has big chunks of paint missing, it just loses the effect somehow.

Several months ago, one of the landlords’ passed away and the family decided to hire a farm manager. For the most part, farmers will tell you those words “farm manager” are something that leaves a bad taste in the mouth. I don’t know how we got so lucky, but this one actually has a brain in his head and some logic in his bones. Since he’s taken over, things have run much more smoothly and things, such as the siding, are getting done – instead of just being talked about.

Now, phase two has taken place. The old chicken house and out-house are history, burned, buried, and covered with dirt… no longer a fixture of this farm. If buildings can hold memories, these two held a few…

The innumerable spoons and bowls that were carried and left on the hay bales in the chicken house by two little girls who were cat-crazy and who would take their treats out to share with the herd of farm cats that nested there.

The old tires that seemed to breed there… from things like old tractors, cars that drag-raced on the road to cars that raced on an oval track. Four-wheeler tires, odyssey tires. Each tire has a story, if only you could hear it.

The boxes of books relegated to sitting in dusty boxes, turning slowly to misshapen, mildewed blobs when windows blew out in a storm and the rains came in.

The boxes filled with old cooking pans, dishes, and household items that moved home once (or twice) with returning children who then decided they didn’t need or want those items after all.

The great spools of rope that lived out their last years in the old out-house. (Long-since unused.) A crack in the door allowing a home for wasps and an occasional lost kitten.

The little red plastic chair that sat in the bushes between the two… Almost hidden by the overgrowth, the ghost of a child whispering secrets to another in their shadows.

The pets that were buried between them in the flowerbed. May they rest in peace wherever they are now, buried far below where a saddened heart could dig with a measly spade.

I am a product of memory. I tie that house, those buildings to my life with my family. It’s where my children were raised – two of them born there, the other two since the eldest was four. It’s where my husband lived since he was seven. It’s where I’d lived the longest of my whole entire life after having moved several times as a child and young adult. As much as I love (like a lot) my new house, a big piece of my heart lives in that little old house. I’m not sure how I would have reacted if we’d had to move and our son had not been living there… if I’d had to leave it to strangers. I think houses imprint with the people who live there, and a shadow of me lives there today.

I miss seeing the chicken house, the out-house. Just as I missed the barn for years when they took it down, many years ago. In many ways it looks better, but in my heart there will always be a little hole where they, and the memories they invoke, live.

Monday Mutterings

2006-08-21T17:26:00.000-07:00

As promised, here is my friend Michael's blog site. Unfortunately, it's on MSN, so you have to log into their system to comment, but if you just want to read all his good stuff go on over to Recipes for Life. He used to be a chef, and has lots of good recipes, as well as some great writing and cute kitty pics.

Saturday wasn't the best night for racing. Jon made it two laps in the heat race and ... wait for it... blew up his motor. Yup. Again. The good news is, he's found a buyer for his stock car and is now, officially, going to be getting his own modified. Will be nice to see him go 'round and 'round with his own colors and number.

The mornings are actually cool now... can fall be far? The fields are starting to turn and it won't be too long and the combines will be in them and life will get even more hectic.

The new guy at work started. He said a whole four words to me today. I didn't realize I was so scary. He left early. He better enjoy - he won't get that opportunity very often.

Odds and Ends

2006-08-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

I gotta come up with a better name for these snippets. Open to suggestions! I know, we could have a contest... the winner gets... okay, nevermind.

I should have posted earlier that my ankle is just fine. I wrapped it up in Ace bandages (not the Wile E. Coyote brand) that my lovely DIL2B brought me (the nurse) and after a couple of days it was just ducky.
The roof was fixed in record time. It only took one guy one afternoon and he did it before the last round of rains came. Yes, it's covered by insurance. So far, we can't find anything else wrong. Amazing, no fire! We can find no problems with anything electrical. The ceiling of the shower will need to be painted with a stain killer and paint, but it appears the drywall is just fine. Now, who wants to go up into the crawlspace and fluff the insulation? Not me...
Eldest son is starting a new job on the 28th in the "big city" closeby. Will be a great opportunity for him to use his degree and he'll have less driving time. Bonus: his office building is right next door to his girlfriends' office building. Congrats, Honey!
Eldest daughter is starting a new job on the 5th! She just accepted today! YES! She can finally escape from her "BL" (boss lady) who drives her nuts. Moving to a small office where at the moment she'll be the only woman (welcome to MY world!). Have I mentioned I really do like working with men better... sorry, ladies. A lot less cattiness going on... At any rate, the company is small and they tell her they are pretty laid back, but it sounds like a great opportunity for her to blossom. Congrats to you, too, Sweetie!
The new guy at work starts Monday. I'm not sure what to expect. It's going to be hard to replace Chris. Okay, it won't be a replacement. It will be different. Hope he works out okay... I would hate to have to build that wall between our desks. (In-office joke. I've threatened that if I don't like the person I have to share my office space with I'm going to make my own "cubicle" out of whatever is handy.) He is huge! He has to be 6'7" at least, and giant. Looks like a football player. Or an enforcer.
A friend of mine (from WoW) has joined the blogworld. I'll give you his address when he posts something. So far, he's just come up with the site. He's really worrying about how he's going to present himself. I keep telling him he worries too much. He's a terrific writer and very intelligent and has cats! What can go wrong with cats?!? Will pass the site link along when he's ready... (btw, he's the one who did the shoelace poster.)
Just found out a friend is expecting a baby the first week in January. I tease him it might be the New Years' baby! They know it's a boy, and because his wife is 35, they've done some doppler ultra-sound and everything looks fine. He said he could even see the baby blink it's eyelids! My gosh! The technology just blows me away. When I had my last ultra sound you could barely make out it had a head or fingers!
I am hoping this weekend brings some much-needed self-positive reinforcement. I need to get the house cleaned, laundry caught up, print some reports for the tax-man to deliver on Monday, possibly work on my craft room and/or office, as well as some current crafting and WoW-ing. (I swear, I'm suffering from withdrawal!) I always feel better when I get some things accomplished. Don't you? Then again, deep in my heart I crave a jammie day...