Wednesday, July 13, 2005


I had an interesting conversation with my youngest daughter the other day. She's 24. We're very close, and have been called 'twins' for years. Not just that we look alike, but we have the same mannerisms and voice, too. Of course, we're not obviously twins - it's easy to tell I'm the mom, but it's jokingly an accurate description.

I have four children, two boys and two girls. Though, at this point in their lives I should be saying two men and two women. Guess they'll always be boys and girls to me, tho'. Over the years we've been through good things and bad things, as do most parent-child relationships. For the past several years, however, we've been on great terms. I consider myself extremely lucky.

When thinking and discussing my kids with my daughter I told her how I'd come to this odd conclusion that my kids were all different parts of my personality. I've been married twice, and although I can see parts of my children's fathers in them, it still seems to be my personality that is dominant. My eldest (girl) is married, has a child, and although works outside the home, is a very nurturing mom and wife. She is very much a family-oriented person and is the one who takes it upon herself to call her biological father or her grandmother and tries to keep the ties going with that side of the family, even though their father pretty much drifted out of her and her brothers' lives years ago. She is the homemaker in every sense of the word.

My next oldest (boy) who shares the same biological father as the eldest, is a very creative type. He originally wanted to go to New York and be an actor and still has some of that travel lust in his blood. He is graduating in a couple of weeks from college where he has spent nine years trying to get a four-year degree in MIS. I love him for that. His stamina, his persistance. He's had job offers to quit school and go to work for big money, but he decided to stick it out and finish. I'm so proud of him for that. He's my travel-guy-computer-geek side. Very smart. (Yes, I'm a mom, I can brag.)

The next one down is the daughter that I'm so much alike. She is smart as a whip and questions everything in the universe. She's married, now, but went through the phase where she didn't think she ever would, and right now doesn't think she'll probably have children. That's okay with me. I'm not a woman who HAS to have grandchildren. I have one, and if none of my children ever have another that's just fine. As long as my kids are happy, that's all I want. She's the animal nut in the family, too. For years we thought she'd be the veterinarian, but she went to college and got a degree in anthropology. She, however, now works in a pet store and is quickly moving up the chain into management and much to her new husbands' dismay she's begun her critter collection. Hubby keeps telling him he's just along for the ride... if she's like her mother (which she is) he'd better get used to it. She was the one who changed her major several times while in college because she has waaaaay too many interests. She started off in an art field, which is an area she excels in, also. I love to paint, take photos, write, draw, work with rubber stamps, do cross-stitching, sewing and crocheting, and generally be creative and she mimics all those things - only does them better. She and my eldest both love nature and are avid gardeners as well as loving houseplants.

My youngest (boy) is probably the most like Hubby. He's the one into stock car racing and fabricating and engine building. However, he's also an animal nut and is close to his family. He has a soft heart and finds the time for hurting friends. He's shy until he knows you, then can be as gregarious as his father. He is honest as the day is long and doesn't mind putting in a full day's work - if not longer. He loved the farm when he was a child and has a knack for all of it... but ran away from it in his teens to find his own way. He worked for a couple of different businesses who built race car motors and found it to be very rewarding and he learned a lot. Then he learned there is a down-side. The business doesn't stay very busy year-round. He did a lot of soul-searching and in his twenties came home to help Hubby farm. The years apart gave them both time to grow and mature. They now can talk about the work as equals instead of father-son and he has found a love of the work once more. It's been a blessing.

I spoke to my daughter about all of this and she began laughing. Maybe... she was all a dream and you'll wake up and find out you never did get married (twice) or have kids or anything! You never imagined in your life that you could go from growing up in a fairly large midwest city to being married to a farmer for 25+ years and living in the country. Maybe it never happened. Maybe you'll find yourself in that padded room you always figured you'd end up in. Maybe.