I Love You, But Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Hubby and I love each other. A lot. Really. We just have a hard time sleeping together. He keeps whining that he sees "twin beds" in our future, but that's not going to happen. Ever. I promise.

However, something's gonna give.

Once upon a time we had a queen-sized mattress. I learned I needed to lay with my back to Hubby or the law of averages would dictate that eventually I was going to have a black eye or broken nose from his elbow swinging generously in my direction during the night. I got a few rude awakenings in the nighttime with an elbow to the back of the head, but no black eyes.

In the old house we graduated to a queen-size waterbed. It was a 'no wave' thing, so wasn't like we were sloshing and swooshing all over. However, after many years it got to the point it had a big peak in the middle and would roll both of us to our prospective sides. We got used to that. (It kept me away from the dreaded elboy, too!)

Now, in the new house we have a king-size bed. We did this mostly because we have critters that make laps through during the night and occasionally curl up behind our knees and have been known to make themselves "bed hogs". We wanted to give the humans a tad more room. Ironically, after all those years of being rolled to the edge of the bed, we both migrate to the very edges on our own sides! I want to be near my nightstand and my light so I can read, and Hubby... I don't know what his excuse is, but it just works out that way. We even tried changing sides of the bed to see if that made a difference. It didn't.

Don't ask me what wild hair got up his ...whatever...last night, but he decided to sleep in the middle of the bed. Fine. Until about 2 a.m. When his hand flopped in my face. Uh huh. WHAP! By the time the night was over, I'd gotten smacked (okay, whapped sounds less violent) three more times! You ask why I didn't roll over? Because I've gotten used to having space between us now and I usually sleep facing him.

We're going in the RV. It's a queen-sized mattress... but an RV-sized queen. Anybody got a hockey mask they want to loan out?