Saturday, October 15, 2005

Saturday Leftovers

First, yes it's Saturday... and I'm at work. (C'mon people... altogether now...awwwww!!!) For most people this is either a jammie day, a housecleaning day, a yard work day, a golfing day, or something equally interesting. Today it's just another friggin' day of work. Have I mentioned I hate this time of year? I love fall... I just hate that I'm so busy I can't enjoy it.

Some, if not all of my family know how weird the chipmunk story is because it's happened before. Yes, people. Only last time I wasn't directly responsible. I swear! I was in high school and had two hamsters, Henry and Matilda. I was doing science experiments on them. (No hamsters were harmed ... it was a maze, people! Sheesh! What do you take me for??) After the experiments were completed, I had to give the hamsters away. They went to two different homes, which was good because I had to keep them seperated anyway. Matilda was a bitch. Really. If she did get in with Henry, she just picked on him and beat him up. She was awful. He was a sweetie. (I don't want to hear any comparisons with the humans in the crowd...I'm convinced she was totally a fluke.)

He lived a long and happy life. She went to a home with a bunch of little kids who put her cage on the bay window ledge. She was notorious for escaping from her cage. She did. She fell (or jumped) off into a bucket of water and drowned. Yep. Like I say, very bizarre...

As far as conjuring up Ed McMahon goes... I bought a couple of lottery tickets. Will that work?

Finally, I just want to say something about the Dark Madness. My husband asked me last night why I want to keep going back to that dark time in my life? Why not just move forward? I want people to know there is hope. There can be a happy life on the other side of the abyss. I'm not claiming to be "Suzy Sunshine" all the time, but because of the love of my husband and kids I'm not going back into that dark place again. Having said that, some of this may come from losing my mother at such an early age and craving that knowlege of who was she and what was she like? To have the gift of being able to see inside her mind and know how she thought - maybe it would be disturbing, I'm not claiming this has not been disturbing for my family - but maybe it too will let them peek inside my head a bit. I also wrote, at least to this point, without any clue that anyone would ever read that blog... especially my family. There have therefore been no special concessions made for them. I did not write to pump them up or tear them down or rip out their hearts. I simply wrote the truth, and will continue to do so.

I read something once by David Pelzer the man who wrote "A Child Called It". He was talking about all the criminals in the world who blamed their lives of crime on child abuse. He said he wanted to write his books to show that it wasn't always the case. That it was an excuse, like anything else. He wanted people to know you could be abused and come out the other side a whole, loving, kind human being. I'm just trying to show that although I'm a bit quirky at times, I'm a whole, loving, kind human being who survived. Rejoice!