Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Dear Mother Nature

I love you dearly, but are you PMS-ing, by any chance? I'm just not quite sure what's been up with you lately. You used to be so predictable, when I was a kid. Every year we were guaranteed to have at least a foot of snow by Christmas that would last through March. Spring would come with gradual warming and buds on trees. Birds would come back that had vacationed in the south all winter. Summer tiptoed in then blasted us with wicked stickey heat and humidity going hand-in-hand with the State Fair in August. Fall snuck in while we were buying our school supplies and we knew the swimming pool would be closed but we didn't mind, as the days were getting cooler and it wasn't so much swimming weather anymore after all. The days gradually began with frost here and there... then it became a morning ritual to heat up the car before you had to go anywhere. The sweaters turned into parkas and mittens and scarves and boots and we were back into winter.

We won't even get into the hurricanes and tsunaimis and various calamitys you've been causing. I'm convinced those are indications of your aging. You're beginning to have seizures and spasms and forgetting where you put the bad stuff, so you're letting it get a little closer than usual. Instead of heading up the coast, out far enough that it won't hurt anyone but maybe give a little needed rain, then going on out to sea, you're having brain farts and forgetting to turn them in time. It can be forgiven, but only for a short time. You really need to be getting that checked out.

I'm concerned about the recent winters that have been dry... no snow until after the New Year, and sometimes not much then! The days have been fluctuating wildly the past weeks. Yesterday, it was almost 90 degrees here! Now, today, the high is supposed to be 67... and tomorrow 57...! We've had frost already, a couple of nights last week. We turned on the fireplace those cool nights. Yesterday, I had to turn the air conditioner back on because we sweltered the night before!

I understand you've been under a lot of pressure. Not everyone is complaining about the lack of snow, or where you put the rain... but I really wish you'd get a little more regular. Hormone therapy, perhaps? Just a suggestion from a concerned fan.