Talkin' To Myself

One of those days when I got nothin'... and yet, I open my mind and things come out!

Remember the No Good Very Bad Day? Would you believe since that morning I have seen four deer crossing the road while on my way to work. Four different deer, four different times. Yes, I've been far enough away to stop. Yes, I still love deer. Still? Every single time this happens my stomach leaps into my throat and threatens to come out my eyeballs. My heart starts racing and I break out in a cold sweat. Yup, they scare the shit out of me every single time. You would think I'd get over this pretty soon. I mean, really...

Lukas? Fuck. Triple Fuck. Yeah, that's exactly what came out of my mouth as I watched the big finale on "Rockstar: Supernova" Wednesday night. It was a strange night when youngest son and his girlfriend stopped by and we ended up having pizza and watching this mind-fuck happen. I sat there in total disbelief, then chided myself for watching the whole train wreck in the first place. How many hours did I waste on this? So... was anyone else as surprised as I was? I was sure it would either be Toby or Dilena. I guess I'm showing my age, 'cause I just didn't think that guy had it. Oh, yeah, he looked the part, but I didn't think his voice was near as strong or as good as the others...

I've already mentioned the big game. Eldest son and his girlfriend will be coming. Youngest son and his girlfriend may be coming. Haven't gotten in touch with eldest daughter yet to know what she's got going, and youngest daughter has to work. After work today will be filled with a grocery store trip to stock up on munchies, then a bit of cleaning. No, not "vistors are coming" cleaning... geez... this is family. They only get the "I'm making it livable" cleaning.

Hubs read my post about guilt. He doesn't comment in the posts, preferring to comment "to my face"... I got the whole "you shouldn't feel guilty" speech. Yes, honey. I know. That's the whole point of the post. I really don't know why I've got it. Maybe, as 3t says, it's a mom-guilt-thing. God knows I have enough of those! Then again, I rather like Sizzle's comment about having enough hangups to fill a walk-in closet! Got me there, Siz! I'm still not doing very well at responding to comments, but trust me, I read every single one. More than once, usually. Yeah, I'm a little obsessive.

If you read this Director, thanks for letting me know what happened. I was worried. First the Bunny drops off the radar, then you! Please e-mail me so I can keep in touch with you two... Also, Darrell... d'ya know what's up with your son's site? If you talk to him, ask please. I know people leave, for whatever reason, but I hate it unless I have a clue what's happened. Maybe that's just my "meddling mama" mode, but it really bothers me when one day they are here and the next they are gone with not a word in-between. In one shocking case I had someone comment on my blog who I'd never heard from before. I went to their link, and in my normal anal fashion, proceeded to go into the archives and read their blog from day one. It took awhile, as they had several years of posts. I felt like I really got to know this person and liked them immensely. At one point, they had to change addresses, but had linked to it so I could follow along. Then... a last post which revealed no hint of it being the last. I searched in vain for another link, thinking they'd had to change it again. Nothing. In desperation, I wrote to a couple of the constant commenters in the hopes they could tell me what happened. Come to find out, he'd died. Suddenly. Without warning. On an operating table. He'd had cancer, which he'd never revealed in all of his posts, and he'd gone in for surgery on the cancer and died of a heart attack on the table. It stunned his family, friends, and people like me... just a person in cyberspace who had "met" him through this media. We don't realize how much we touch each other with just words. How powerful is that? In related news, Fresh finally revealed what happened in his world. Sounds like he got dooced. Damn. I hate when that happens. It just seems there should be a place in the world where we can get all the things rattling around in our brains out into the universe without being penalized for it. That's all I'm here for. Basic brain-cleaning 101.

Don't know if you ever look at my other blogs, but I do occasionally post there.

More blog friends going through stuff. This guy is STILL laid up. Go check him out and give him a hello. He could use the cheering. Nothing like bedrest for weeks on end to make ya grouchy, yet he manages to keep a good sense of humor. Poor Brad. He's getting the Dad indoctrination by ... no, not fire... the same type of ailment that Mama's little one just went through. She's all better now, though, thank goodness! I have to say, it's always worse to have our kids be sick than being sick ourselves...

Remember back in the middle of summer when I begged and pleaded for rain? Yeah, um... well... it's okay. Enough for now, thank you. We got 5+ inches last weekend and they are saying another inch or so possible this weekend. It needs to dry out a bit before we can harvest... which will be very soon. (Did I mention farmers are never happy? It's a known fact.) However, gasoline prices are the lowest in the nation here in Iowa. Go figure. Now if diesel would follow down that path... c'mon... pretty please? In related news, the lightening that hit our roof? The hole was fixed right away, but the water that leaked into my shower ceiling dried into a nice crack. Guess nothing's easy. We have a guy lined up to look at it and probably fix it (he's the guy who did the drywall when we built) but he's had a kid end up dehydrated in the hospital with flu, so he's been delayed. That's okay, it'll wait for him. He's right where he should be. Is there a bunch of stuff going around? You know, without little kids in the house anymore I feel a bit out of the loop... maybe not so much.

So much for now. I feel much better. How about you?