Happiness

Why do we all find moments of pure happiness so fleeting? If you ask anyone "How are you?"... how often will you get the response "Happy."?

I was thinking about this last night as my Hubs got home from work and asked me to sit out on the deck with him. I was holed up in the bedroom (as usual) playing WoW and taking a few minutes for myself to regroup.

I'd gotten off work, rushed to the landscaping store to replace (yet another) tomato plant. Home, I'd let the pups out to run and took some time to weed in the flower beds. Figuring out what to have for supper (grilled burgers) as I worked up a sweat I took my group of furry friends inside and took care of the rest of my furry friends that aren't allowed outside.

Changing into something more comfortable and getting the pups settled, I had no more than logged into WoW when Hubs got home. Momentarily surprised by his request, I agreed to sit with him and have an "adult beverage" - him, not me - and we sat in the shade and visited about our day. We let the pups back out and watched as they were being silly, chasing balls and each other. We talked about the kids, the farm, touching on several subjects. There were even moments of silence when we just sat and contemplated the beauty of the woods and the quiet.

It dawned on me as I was sitting there, that if someone would have asked me at that moment to be truly honest about my feelings that my response would have had to be "Happy."...

Later, after we busied ourselves with dinner and clean up and went to our seperate areas to relax - he to his TV, me to my WoW - I chatted a bit with some friends online and the subject of happiness came up. One friend spoke of being so happy at this moment in time that he was afraid it wasn't real. It actually frightened him to think of facing some things that he was thinking were going to take him back out of this happy zone. He wanted it to last. He wasn't sure it could.

Hubs and I have talked about this feeling before, too. Sometimes it is a bit unsettling when things are going just a little too good. You begin to wonder when the "other shoe" is going to drop and the bad is coming back.

Living with a farmer has been a true adventure in faith and a miracle to sustain happiness. I, too, used to be always looking for the pitfalls, the downside, the draught around the corner. In 1995 I became a new person. I went through the darkness and came out the other side a much better human being. A happier human being. I will never claim to be "Suzy-Sunshine", nor will I ever advocate anyone else being that way. Pollyanna didn't have all the answers. Reality is a fact that has to be faced. However, when Hubs goes to the coffeeshop in the morning and all they other farmers are whining "woe is me" and "it's never going to rain again"... I have a secret deep in my soul that I share with my Husband. It will be okay.

God, or whatever "powers that be" that let me go through hell in my youth is not going to take away my happiness now. He/She/It gave me this man, this life partner, when I was in some of the darkest days of my life and together we've come through into sunlight. We've been tested, through the years, but never left to die. We've been blessed in so many ways, too numerous to count. Every year when the forecasters have said, "it's going to be a dry one"... we've gotten the rain. When the future looked bleak, we've had angels step in and give us hope (ya listening, Harold?). We've had days of laughter and days of pain but we've had each other, and that's an ever-sustaining thing.

I know they say you come into this world alone and go out of it alone. That's true. But while you are here, I hope you have something in your life that you can give claim to Happiness.