PSA*

Remember, some days I don't blog at all. Some days I blog more than once in a day. Some days I even blog several times a day. Just so you don't forget to go down until you see the post you already read.

You may now go back to your regular viewing schedule.

*Public Service Announcement for those of you not brought up in the 50's.

An E-Mail

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space a! nd time The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post off! ice with in the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

"Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most was...my time"

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days! . "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"

_____

Think about this. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,! even if they don't like you.
4. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
5. You mean the world to someone.
6. If not for you, someone may not be living.
7. You are special and unique.
8. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you trust God to do what's best, and wait on His time, sooner or later, you will get it or something better.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
11. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
12. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
13. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy .
14. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

New Linky Goodness

Yes, I've found some more new people (I don't want to hear how I don't get to the ones I already have often enough, it's true...). Just go visit, say "hi" and tell 'em Sue sent ya. They won't have a clue...

Just Run
Brand new and shiney - Somewhere Over the Rainbow - we don't get 'em this fresh very often!
Gorillabuns - I love this gal!
If You Only Read One Blog This Year - Not sure how I found this one, but there is some excellent writing interspersed.
Rurality
di_a_logue

I'm sure more will be coming. They keep following me home...honest, Mom...

A Couple of Things

First, I want to acknowledge the last day we'll have Christopher to pick on here at work. Like the feelings Sizzle has so eloquently put into words, I'm sure he's full of joy and sadness at the change. Unlike all the lovely things Siz put about her friends and co-workers, we are the ones being left behind. His intentions are great. He's moving back down to Missouri to be close to his sister-in-law and his little nephew. He'll be near his dad, too, and his other siblings. It's been one helluva year for him, losing both his mother and his brother, and his family will be thrilled to have him close again. We understand, but it doesn't mean we won't be sad. He's a great guy and we wish him and his lovely wife all the best... and he darn well better keep in touch!

The other thing I'd like to mention, is, it's raining!! OMG! It is really! I went out before work this morning to water my garden and although the sun was shining a few sprinkles started to hit me. I thought I was imagining it at first... you know how you do that when you want something really badly? My daughter came out of the house to leave for work and looked back and commented "there's a rainbow over our house!" Sure enough, it was very dark off to the west and a full, bright rainbow went right over. I would have taken its picture, but I've never gotten good rainbow pics.

A few minutes later, the sky opened and it began to rain...through the sunshine. I turned off the water hose, went in the house, and called Hubs to give him the good news. Not wanting to get too excited, in case this was one of those 10-second showers I drove to work through a pretty heavy downpour, thanking the Powers that Be.

I just looked at the radar. It looks like there is rain all over the northwest corner of the state... heading this way. Could it last? Could this be one of those all-morning one-inchers? Wouldn't that be nice...

Life... or Something Like It

...is really getting in the way these days. More later.

Despite Rumors...

...I'm still alive.

Damn, that mulch is tough stuff. Spent all day yesterday coughing up crap and feeling like death warmed over, but much better today. A night of tossing, turning, and feeling jittery did nothing for my desire to leap out of bed this morning, but a rude wakeup call from my Hubs got me moving. Bedtime is going to come early tonight.

A friend reminded me that some of what I'm feeling could be the result of withdrawl from my anti-depressant. Maybe a little. Probably the jittery, paranoid, anxiety-ridden stressed-out feelings. The bad dreams, soaked-with-sweat, heart-racing, dry-mouthed, mental ramblings. Yeah, that's probably from the medication. I'm pretty sure the fever, hacking, nose-blowing, black-crap-coming-out-of-me is the mulch.

Nonetheless, I'm at work. Putting in my time. Watching the clock tic by. Wishing I would find a way to a.) make it rain - not hail b.) offer up the Gods that be on the Board of Trade something that would get the grain prices to go UP for a change c.) win the lottery or d.) all of the above. D would be nice. Any suggestions?

The Mulch Did It

I woke yesterday morning full of vim and vigor. Why? The only thing I can think of is I've quit taking the anti-depressant medication. I'm not near as drowsy as I was - I don't crave a nap an hour after I've arisen. This is good. As far as what I was taking it for, the anxiety? Well. so far so good. Maybe I'm just going to have to comprimise...

At any rate, I was up with the birds (okay, to be fair, our birds are around all the time, so that's not exactly true). I was up early with the pups - let them out to do their thing, then went back to bed for a couple more hours. I won't say it had to do with a bit too much bourbon the night before, but I did have a tad...

Finally, up at a reasonable time to start the day, I dressed, did the dishes, got some laundry going, took care of all the critters - feathered and otherwise. Then Hubs brought the small tractor and loader bucket down to the house and I gave him a ride back to the shop. Now the real work begins.

He let me borrow his heavy leather welding gloves. Why? You ask... was I going to be welding? Nope. I was going to comb out my much-knotted himalyn cat. Normally I've taken her to the vet where it takes two or three people to hold her down while they comb her out. They do it bare-handed, which in my mind is pure foolishness. Yes, she has no claws, but she does have extremely sharp teeth and under those circumstances is not afraid to use them. I figured I'd watched the vet handle her enough times to know that even when her eyes bugged out and she made those "I can't breath" noises, she was okay. My cat also has a cool move I call the "aligator roll". She'll just start rolling until she breaks your hold on her neck. I had her on the kitchen counter, though, where she couldn't get traction (no claws) and when she tried her twisty-kitty move she rolled in my hand about four times until I just picked her up and let her hang. That got her attention and she stopped immediatly. About 30 minutes later, I had another whole cat's worth of fur on the counter (and myself) and a beautifully groomed cat. She hates the process, but you can tell she always feels so much better when she's done. When I put her down she didn't even run!

One funny note... as I was doing this, the other cats all took turns getting up on the barstools to watch. I don't think they knew quite what to think of this!

Then I really got down to business. Mulching the gardens. A lot of things had been mulched last fall before the snow set in - the roses, and some of the more sensative plants. Now I had a bunch of bare spots to fill in as well as the area of the garden I'd extended in the back yard. Mulching is go nice for the plants - holding in the moisture and keeping their little "feet" cool. I had a huge pile of mulch the local tree trimmer guy had brought down and I donned my garden gloves and an attitude and began. Much to my dismay, this was not the best mulch he has ever brought. It was full leaves as well as wood, and although I couldn't see it, I'm sure in all that dust I was generating there was mold. Mulching from about 10 a.m. until almost 5 p.m., I got a snootful - and a lungful. I felt fine at first. I showered, and my eldest daughter came by to have supper with the younger daughter. (Hubs was racing again).

As we sat and visited I gradually began to cough... and felt my chest begin to tighten. This is not a good feeling. My younger daughter had picked up Thai food on her way home from work, and I could barely eat. Hubs called and said the races got rained out, so they were coming home. We were sitting on the porch when it clouded up and began to spit rain... yippee! We need it badly. Hubs got home just as it started to really come down. We all sat on the front porch and watched it rain... bundled in jackets and sweatshirts. It had really cooled down! Unfortunatly, not as much as we'd hoped - only about a 10th. Bah.

The girls decided to go to Dairy Queen and pick up some dessert, so I rode along for the company and they decided I needed to try some Muselix (sp?) - the medicine that's suppose to break up phlem in your lungs. I'm game. At this point I feel pretty congested. On the way home I began to shake. Uh oh...this is not a good sign. It's cooled of, but not that cool. Home, I decide to medicate and hit the bed... by now I'm shaking like a leaf and my teeth are chattering. I climb into bed with heavy pj's, a sweater, heavy socks, and my electric blanket dialed up to 7. My big black cat flops down across me, trying to do his part, and I just shake. Finally, Hubs comes to bed and I make him throw another blanket over me.

Now the fun begins. The pups start to growl and work up to a bark - the male, anyway. I hear the other one coughing. Great... they were out in that mulch when I was putting it out, too. I suppose they've got the same thing I have. I got up about 11 o'clock and let them out, thinking that would satisfy the barkiness... but no such luck. I don't know if he knew something was wrong and was trying to tell me, or what, but I did not need to jump up every hour to tell him to be quiet!

I was still shivering, so took my temperature. 101.3. Huh. I really was sick!

All in all, a "fun" night...

Now? Now it is almost 11:30 a.m. I got up about an hour ago, ate some cereal, and took more medicine. The sweat-soaked pj's tell me my fever broke during the night sometime, and my body is trying to recover. I'm still congested and have a headache and feel really bleck, but I'm guessing (and hoping) the worst is over.

Hubs came out yesterday with is normal wise comments... "You crazy woman! You're going to overdo it again! I've seen it a hundred times!" Damn. I hate it when he's right.

Party Time

Last night was fun had by all... it was a going-away party for the guy who is leaving at work. It was at their house and it was a fun group - people I work with, a few neighbors and friends, and a few of his wife's co-workers.

My only regret was Hubs was at the races. Son got rained out - right before his race. So, double feature next week and nothing to show for this week. It didn't even rain at our house, which is where we really need it.

We're really going to miss this guy... He's got one more week. We'll have to make it last...

Happiness

Why do we all find moments of pure happiness so fleeting? If you ask anyone "How are you?"... how often will you get the response "Happy."?

I was thinking about this last night as my Hubs got home from work and asked me to sit out on the deck with him. I was holed up in the bedroom (as usual) playing WoW and taking a few minutes for myself to regroup.

I'd gotten off work, rushed to the landscaping store to replace (yet another) tomato plant. Home, I'd let the pups out to run and took some time to weed in the flower beds. Figuring out what to have for supper (grilled burgers) as I worked up a sweat I took my group of furry friends inside and took care of the rest of my furry friends that aren't allowed outside.

Changing into something more comfortable and getting the pups settled, I had no more than logged into WoW when Hubs got home. Momentarily surprised by his request, I agreed to sit with him and have an "adult beverage" - him, not me - and we sat in the shade and visited about our day. We let the pups back out and watched as they were being silly, chasing balls and each other. We talked about the kids, the farm, touching on several subjects. There were even moments of silence when we just sat and contemplated the beauty of the woods and the quiet.

It dawned on me as I was sitting there, that if someone would have asked me at that moment to be truly honest about my feelings that my response would have had to be "Happy."...

Later, after we busied ourselves with dinner and clean up and went to our seperate areas to relax - he to his TV, me to my WoW - I chatted a bit with some friends online and the subject of happiness came up. One friend spoke of being so happy at this moment in time that he was afraid it wasn't real. It actually frightened him to think of facing some things that he was thinking were going to take him back out of this happy zone. He wanted it to last. He wasn't sure it could.

Hubs and I have talked about this feeling before, too. Sometimes it is a bit unsettling when things are going just a little too good. You begin to wonder when the "other shoe" is going to drop and the bad is coming back.

Living with a farmer has been a true adventure in faith and a miracle to sustain happiness. I, too, used to be always looking for the pitfalls, the downside, the draught around the corner. In 1995 I became a new person. I went through the darkness and came out the other side a much better human being. A happier human being. I will never claim to be "Suzy-Sunshine", nor will I ever advocate anyone else being that way. Pollyanna didn't have all the answers. Reality is a fact that has to be faced. However, when Hubs goes to the coffeeshop in the morning and all they other farmers are whining "woe is me" and "it's never going to rain again"... I have a secret deep in my soul that I share with my Husband. It will be okay.

God, or whatever "powers that be" that let me go through hell in my youth is not going to take away my happiness now. He/She/It gave me this man, this life partner, when I was in some of the darkest days of my life and together we've come through into sunlight. We've been tested, through the years, but never left to die. We've been blessed in so many ways, too numerous to count. Every year when the forecasters have said, "it's going to be a dry one"... we've gotten the rain. When the future looked bleak, we've had angels step in and give us hope (ya listening, Harold?). We've had days of laughter and days of pain but we've had each other, and that's an ever-sustaining thing.

I know they say you come into this world alone and go out of it alone. That's true. But while you are here, I hope you have something in your life that you can give claim to Happiness.

Dad Update

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and prayers. It appears after my parents had their physicals yesterday that things are going to stay about the same. They are now claiming Dad's neck pains are arthritis, and are saying his wrist was just badly bruised. They want him to use the cane and stop drinking. Neither of those things are going to happen, I know. They also took him off the antidepressant. I'm not sure that's a great thing, as they seemed to help his mood a lot. He claimed they made him overly tired. We'll see... I'm sure if he just stopped the drinking it would help his mood a lot. He's not a "happy" drunk, if you get my drift.

My mother checked out just fine. As she says, "one of us has to stay healthy to take care of the other one."

That's all I know for now. Again, thanks for listening.

The Busy Blogger

What a weekend this has been! Whew!

Dad went home from the hospital on Friday afternoon. After zillions of tests, no idea what happened. They say they can't even find evidence of a stroke. Great. Now we're supposed to think it's all in his head? They want him to stop drinking. (Good luck with that!) and they want him to use a cane. Riiiggghhht. Mom said the therapist couldn't even get him to try it in the hospital, so what do you think the chances are he's going to use one? Exactly. I checked up on him yesterday and he was in bed mid-afternoon. He's not doing well. Neck still hurts (which they've never figured out the cause of) and his wrist still hurts from his fall three weeks ago. Today they both have physicals and the wrist will be looked at. Don't know if they are going to be able to change Dad's medications to a different anti-depressant that might not make him so tired, but that would be nice. He's just not enjoying life anymore. They didn't change his stroke meds at all. Nothing more to be done on that front but wait.

Friday night Hubs, Em and I went to a Cubs baseball game. This would be the "farm team" that resides in our nearby largest city. It was fun. I'm not a huge sports fan, okay, I admit it ... I'm not any kind of a sports fan... but I was there with two of my favorite people so it made it okay. We were guests of our seed corn representative, so had a nice sky-box and free food and beverages. Nice night for a game - and they won!

Saturday was the event we've been waiting for ... for weeks! I can now tell you it was Darrell from Murmurs who was visiting! He and his 13-yr old son stopped through for a few days on their way site-seeing across the country. He came in on Thursday, and have been entertained and fed by Amanda and her family. Her son and Darrell's son have been getting along famously (as kids will do) and their days have been full of swimming, doing some local site-seeing, firefly catching, and other boy-stuff. Saturday night was my turn to meet them.

They came out to my house for a cookout Saturday night. Paranoid as always, I'd spent the day cleaning and polishing and trying to put my best foot forward. I really didn't need to do that tho'... once we met I felt quite comfortable and it didn't hurt a bit. My one regret was that Hubs had to leave to go to son's race before they got there and they never got to meet.

We had a nice dinner, good visiting, and later on made a campfire and ate s'mores (some of us did...not me, honest!). The boys were busy catching fireflies (they don't have them in California - go figure!) and chasing around the yard. I was impressed by how bright D's son is - he just sparkles - and is full of energy and curiosity. They were hoping to see the stars that night with their telescope, but mother nature wasn't agreeable. It was okay, as they'd gone star-gazing the night before at our old house where my youngest son lives - and met him as well at that time. Stargazing is another thing it's difficult to do where they live unless they get far enough out of town. Here, you just have to go out in the yard.

D was pretty much exactly what I expected. Articulate and knowlegable about many subjects, he's got lots of stories to relate. I'm surprised more things don't make it onto his blog, but that's how those things go, they are very personal. We laughed in that my "extended" family don't know about my blog and we were having to be careful not to mention it in case my mother-in-law happened to still be there when they came (she goes to the races with my hubs). Also, D's not shared his blog with his family - including his son - so the whole time he was here we had to walk on egg-shells where that subject was concerned. I felt it hampered the conversation a little, but we managed. He's got a quick smile and even quicker wit and seemed to actually be happy. He says he loves it here and he's not felt this good in months. That's incredible. I hope it works out for him so he can find the peace he wants.

Last, but not least, I was intrigued to hear that I was not what he expected. Hmmm... now my curiousity is in full swing. Guess I'll have to wait until he gets home and blogs to figure out what he meant by that.

To round up the weekend all the kids came over for Father's Day last night. Eldest son had decided Mother's Day was just toooo boring (I was sick, we did nothing) so he gathered his siblings and their spouses/significant others and decided we must celebrate. This, as usual, included lots of food and laughter. We are a bit of a noisy group when we get together. Fun times had by all.

This morning? Hubs figured his blood sugar would be high due to his "badness" last night. I mean, a big chunk of ice-cream cake isn't exactly on the recommended list. Me? I had a little teeny sliver. Seriously, it was so thin you could see light through it. You know how this ends, right? He was right on target. I was high. Guess that must mean it's Monday.

Family Secrets

We all have secrets. Some are pretty harmless (yes, I'm the one who gets the extra roll of tp out of the closet at work when it gets low) and some are more serious. We keep secrets from our parents (no, I do not want them to know about my blog, thankyouverymuch) and sometimes even secrets from our spouses (I just HAD to have that Hershey bar, honey!).

I've kept the secret from you of who is visiting this weekend. Some of you have figured it out, some of you know... it will be revealed soon, I promise.

Some secrets just piss me off. Why? Because the people who are keeping the secrets are the same people who have to know everything about everyone. I do mean everything. I'm talking about my in-laws. Specifically, my brother-in-law and his wife. My immediate family can barely take a shit without those people wanting to know how long it took, how much tp we used, what did it smell like, what color and texture. You get the idea. (Pardon the graphic picture I just put in your head)

My sister-in-law in particular thinks she knows it all. Mention any name in a 60-mile radius and she will know all about them, their family, and how much they make - down to the color of their undies on Sunday. Oh, and don't forget - they're her friends. *cough* Although, ironically, if you mention her name to any of them you get the same blank and/or disgusted look and they get the flight or fight panic gleam in their eyes.

Now, my sister-in-law has worked for a company since she graduated from high school and she's 40-something. Pretty decent job. Her husband even got a job at the same company after they married and it worked out well - she worked in the office and he would never see his paycheck. She'd just take it and run... giving him his "allowance". She had loads of seniority, good benefits, and 5 weeks paid vacation. Pretty nice job if you can get it.

A few months ago she quit the company (to everyone's shock!) and took a job in a neighboring town. It was a real nifty-cool thing if you ask them. Lots of hoopla! Got a big notice that her e-mail changed to, of course, big company's name. Big advancement for her, we were told. Ooooo... impressed? I was slightly underwhelmed.

Hubs found out today in the grapevine that she's no longer at the premium job. She's working at a bank. A. Bank. Now, don't get me wrong, some of my best friends have worked at banks. I know for a fact that she wouldn't be an officer, so that pretty much leaves clerk or teller, neither of which pay what she was making at job one.

He also found out she tried to get her old job back. Uh uh. No. Sorry Charlie. (D'ya feel a tear comin' on?)

Have we heard about this from mother-in-law? Not a word. Did brother-in-law mention it in his 30-minute fun-filled phone call to Hubs yesterday? Nope. It's okay to be all hush-hush. It's them...

Guess I've "outed" them, huh? But then, they don't know that, do they?.... it's a secret...

A Bump in the Road

My mother called last night as I was coming inside from watering the gardens. Yesterday morning my father had another stroke. What they are now calling "a significant event". He lost all feeling on his left side. It didn't last long - maybe fifteen minutes - but it was enough to put a scare into them both. He was over it by the time the ambulance got there, even with a very fast response time.

The rest of the day was spent with tests and doctors. They kept him in the hospital. He seems fine. I went down today with my mother early and caught him just finishing breakfast and being examined by another neurologist. They had more tests. Three hours of tests.

Back to his room, he said he was very tired - he'd not slept much the night before. My mother said she hadn't either. Then she remembered about 4 a.m. that she hadn't taken her night-time medicine, one of which helps her to sleep.

"Don't tell your father" , she said. "He doesn't think I can take care of myself without him."

The rest of the day was spent watching him sleep, visiting with my mom and going to the cafeteria for a crappy burger. Dad's lunch looked excellent. Too bad the cafeteria couldn't say the same...

He kept telling everyone all day that he was going home. He wouldn't fill out his menu choices for the next day "because I won't be here". Uh huh. My mother wanted to go home for awhile and take care of the dog. I came home. She's supposed to call when they hear something. It's 8:30 p.m. Guess what? I'm pretty darn sure he's spending another night there.

It sure would be nice if they could figure out what's causing this. Of course, my ever-cheerful mother (read sarcasm) remembered this was how her mother died... a bunch of little strokes leading to a big one. Yeah. I needed to be reminded of that. Thanks, Mom.

Probably going to work tomorrow. There isn't much I can do right now. Oh, and the visiting friend got to town today safely. I haven't seen them yet but still planning on getting together Saturday night... as long as Dad is doing okay. Keep good thoughts, 'kay?

SURPRISE!

I was going to reveal who was coming ... but then I read their blog and they are keeping it a secret, so... you must wait also. As soon as I'm allowed I will tell you. Hopefully, with pictures!

Shameless Plug

I tried to put this in my sidebar but it messed everything up and I have no patience right now to figure out why. Go to this site and see what Bitchitude can do!

It's Monday and It's COLD

First off, where did the weekend go? I want it back!

I worked Saturday morning for awhile, but it got to spitting rain and wind so we closed the office and went home. Well, some of us went home. I went to the grocery store, then to the plant place to pick up yet another tomato plant. Of course, I couldn't walk out with just one tomato plant, but I kept myself in check nicely. Only a few sale plants came home with me.

Home, and I immediately turned off the air conditioner - that hadn't run in a couple of days - and when Hubs got home mid-afternoon we turned on the fireplace. Yes, It's been that cool. Doesn't really feel like June at the moment. Managed to get some laundry and cleaning done and feel as though a little got accomplished. Have a bit more to do, but should get it done after work today.

In talking to Hubs, I found out that son's race last week never even got through hot-laps, so it wasn't considered a race to make up. Therefore, Saturday nights' race was to just be a single-feature. However, they got rained out before they ever got started. I don't think Hubs was too disappointed not to have to sit in the wind and the cold. Unfortunately, whatever rain they got up north that made the race get cancelled never really made it to our area. We still need rain badly.

Sunday I spent most of the day in bed. Something funky was going on with my ears... I was getting that annoying ringing that you get when you take too much asperin - only I hadn't taken any. Felt as though my head was full, but not really stuffy. All in all, just weirdness. (I hear you out there... "what else is new?"...) So, got some reading done, some WoW in, and a lot of sleep. Maybe that's what I really needed. Feeling fine today. Except that feeling that the weekend flew by...

This coming weekend is the first of the internet people visits. It should be fun... it's a fellow blogger and now WoW player who has become a good friend to myself and my daughters. His first time to Iowa, too. Hope he's not expecting a parade, we're fresh out... but we may manage to grill the fatted calf and hopefully have some warmer weather by then to sit outside and enjoy each other's company and get to talk face to face. Will be an interesting time... I know I'VE never done this before. I'm going by all of your good experiences ... don't let me down!

Happy Monday everyone...let's have a good week. (Now excuse me while I crank up the space heater under my desk.)

Friday Ramblings.. Okay, It's Saturday, Sue Me!

Just rounding up some random thoughts:

I appreciate all the wonderful comments on meeting internet people in the "real world". It does help. Now if I can only convince my husband that they aren't all serial killers, we'll be fine.

Youngest son came in second place in last nights' car race. Tonight there will be another double-feature because of a rain-out last weekend. Unless it gets rained out again this week. I wonder what they do then? Have a triple-feature next weekend? Hmmm...

I've been working on the gardens. Extended some around the edge of the lawn, weeding and watering and planting. The mound of mulch is waiting to be addressed, but I have to a.) find the time and b.) get my garden tractor back. I've also been weeding and watering the main flower beds and have already had to replace one - no, make that two - tomato plants. Not sure what's getting them. Rabbits? Racoons? Suicide? Unless I have a spy camera set up I'll probably never know. Despite the lack of much-needed rain I've kept things watered daily and all is still doing okay. Me? My hands are cut and bleeding from weeding without gloves. (What was I thinking?) My lower back is just now beginning to itch from getting sunburned where I leaned over and my shirt rode up and my pants rode down (no, no butt crack, but thanks for asking). It takes me about 5 minutes of sun exposure to burn. Yes, I'm THAT WHITE. Deal with it. Last, but not least, my arms, shoulders and legs hurt from actually doing something besides sitting at my computer. I really have taken pictures, too. Just not the time or the energy to load 'em up. Something else to put on my "to do" list.

Another note on the yard front. I've had birds that I've never had before! The indigo bunting is back. We have the usual grosbeeks, chickadees, blue jays, cardinals, goldfinches, purple finches, junco, nuthatch, and three different kinds of woodpeckers. This year we've had a baltimore oriole and recently a hummingbird has been spotted. The cats are highly entertained. (Before you go calling the ASPCA, the cats don't leave the house and the birds stay on the outside of the glass).

I was exposed to my first-ever Thai food last night by my daughters. I like it! Always interesting to try something new and not have a clue what it's possibly going to taste like. Different than anything I'd had before... and yet? Good. Was it "legal" on my diet? No, of course not. Nothing I like is! Sometimes you just gotta break the rules to try something new, though. At least I didn't eat the whole thing!

My lovely eldest daughter and her husband had their 4 year wedding anniversary this week. In typical fashion her hubs likes to quip - "It's been the best 2 years of my life". I think I know him well enough to say... he's a smartass. But we love him. Congratulations, kids, on a great marriage.

I am soooo excited and happy for this guy. A new house. A new adventure.It couldn't happen to a nicer family. I've been down this road and it's a fun one, but it's a little nerve-racking. For a long time hubs and I felt we were living in someone elses' house. It is sad to leave the old one with all the memories. We were lucky in that our youngest son still lives in our old house and we can visit whenever we want! The board is still in the kitchen doorway with all the hash-marks of our children's growing up stages. Is this just an old-fashioned thing to do or do you all still do it? Marking your childrens' height on the doorjam just seems it's been in my family for generations. If we ever really let that house "go", I'm taking that board. It's history.

I'm also extremely excited for this family. It was a helluva surprise when baby came early, but knowing Amy she's taking it all in stride quite well. She's got to be one of the - if not THE -happiest woman alive to be a mom. She takes that title quite seriously and finds it to be her calling. I love her attitude toward her kids. They make her truly happy. Most of us love to be moms, but she takes it to a new level.

Keep holding good thoughts for Ms. Sizzle. She has a lot on her plate these days what with moving to a new state, a new city, finding a new job. It takes a lot of guts and a heart of gold, but she's got both. I know she's tormented by the thought of leaving the city she's grown to know every nook and cranny of. I know she's tossing and turning and worrying about the friends she's leaving behind and the "good" people she works with. She has dreams and goals and a future as big as... her heart. She's gonna be okay... she just needs to hear it. A lot.

I'm tired. Really, really tired. Wish I could take a nap.

Anti-Social Is My Middle Name

Okay, not really, but it should be.

What is wrong with me? I enjoy reading your blogs and hearing about your lives. I love seeing pictures of your children, pets, friends, houses, yards, gardens, and events. I find amusement in your tales of travel and work and relationships. I chat endlessly with other WoW players on the computer and know lots of things about their lives, families and favorite flavors. I see people in my life that I know many intimate things about - sometimes too much. I have co-workers that confide in me and people who inspire me or drive me to rage.

In reality, there are only a handful of people I really love and can tolerate. My husband. How he puts up with me is a mystery that no one will figure out until the end of days. My kids. They are the best people on earth. Yes, I'm probably biased. No, I don't care if you think so. These are the people who I can truly relax with and be myself. If I walk out of the bedroom without showering, putting on makeup or combing my hair (for three days), they will still hug me and tell me they love me. They make me laugh. They sometimes make me cry. They make me think. They expose my limited world to new possibilities and give me hope for the future.

What can I say? The rest of the world is a problem. I can function. I can speak when spoken to. I can sometimes even start up the conversation. I can be curious to meet someone I've never met before. I can find interest in their life. But am I having fun? Not really. I'm nervous. I'm stressed. My outward appearance may be calm, but my inner self is in turmoil. My stomach is roiling with the acids of fear. My brain is going a million miles a minute bouncing from one topic to another trying each of them out in "practice" questions that never make it past my lips. I people watch, but try not to let them catch me watching. I'm the queen of the short answer. "Fine" ... "Good"... "Doing well"... without elaboration. The medications? Not helping as far as I can tell. Is this something new? God, no. I've been this way since I can remember.

It's a wonder I have any contact with human beings at all.

Life Interference

Don't you hate it when life interferes with your blogging? Me too! This time of year is generally not-so-busy at work. This year? Busy. Home, when I'm there, is full of puppies and gardening and laundry and dishes and cooking and running errands, and when I can fit it in, cleaning. There are birdfeeders to fill, critters to care for, and gardens to water morning and night - (we need rain, if anyone's listening!)

Somewhere in the midst of all this I have company to get ready for. I think there will be new internet friends to meet this summer, and we're going to try and have my office people over for a going away party for my co-worker.

I need about 6 more hours to each day...

I may not get over to all of you, or if I do I may be in for a quick lurk and not leave a note... I've not forgotten a one of you, though, so don't be discouraged. All good thoughts to you all and lots of catching up to do when "life" slows down!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

A few things have been changing the I've not mentioned. Until now.

My youngest, the race car driver, has changed vehicles and classes. He is the owner (or at least Hubs is the owner) of a stock car. The new race season started about a month ago and he's had a rough year. After being track champion last year in his class, he's had nothing but trouble this year. A new engine brought with it problems. Five laps into a race and something would blow. Scrambling to get it fixed for the next week, confident it had been fixed, and five laps into the next race something would blow again! This is not a good thing. It leads to lots of stress and money and major frustration.

Enter a new player. A car owner in a higher level class, Modifieds. He's asked my son to drive his car for him. His driver was incapacitated for some reason that I can't remember right now - sick or injured - or something. Not sure. At any rate, this owner has been in the racing game for 20-some years and has won very few races. He's been watching my son and wanted to approach him before, but didn't think he would be interested since he had his own car and was doing so well with it. Now, with all the troubles, this man decided the time was right to approach my son. It's a good deal for my son and my husband. They don't have to worry so much about the money end of things, and he still gets to drive and have a great deal of input on the mechanical end of things. Plus, it's faster...

About three weeks ago was the first time son ever got in the car. He came in second. Second place in a race in a class in a car he'd never driven before. The owner is estatic. He can't believe this kid. What can I say? Son is a natural.

Friday night he started in last place (because he had no points at the track they were racing at) and came in third. Last night they ended up getting rained out. It's all good... I'm so proud of this kid... this "man"...

The other change is at work. The guy who shares my office space (I teasingly call him my 'roomate', but Hubs hates that) is leaving. July 1 he starts a new job in Missouri. He's going to be missed very much. He's the fellow who lost his mother and his brother this year - and he's moving back home to be closer to his family. He wants to be there for his nephew, who is just a baby, but is his brother's son. He feels a great responsibility to be there for him. He wants to be close to his dad and his other family members. I respect him a great deal for that. It's going to be hard not to see his easy smile and his laid back manner each day. His wife is a lovely young thing with a gloriously bright smile and the sweetest disposition. She, too, will be missed. I know whoever gets hired to replace him will never be able to meet the bar he's set. We wish him every good thing in the future.

Reality Check

I'm just curious. How many of you have met people you met on the internet in person? What was your experience like?

I've heard of the blogger meetings. I've even seen pictures from some of those meetings. I know people in my own family who have talked on the phone with people they've met online. I even got a former son-in-law from an internet relationship. For the most part, the experiences have turned out fine. But the dark side is we've all seen the horror stories on television of the "internet predators". We've heard of the meetings that go wrong. The stalkers, the freaks, the sickos, the pervs... the ones who come off as being wonderful online and in reality become your worst nightmare.

Some blogger friends have spilled over into the World of Warcraft. I've met new friends through the game, too. Now there has been talk of people coming to see me and my family. I think I know these people. I'd like to feel I can trust my instincts and would be able to tell if they really weren't good people... but how do you know? For someone such as myself who is such a private person, this is a strange development in my life. I barely see my 'real' friends, yet my internet friends want to travel miles to meet me? Am I opening myself up to something bad or something good?

Another Birthday Wish

...goes out to my soon-to-be-ex-son-in-law. His birthday is today and I wish him nothing but joy. I hope that in time he will heal and any uncomfortable feelings between us will be erased. I do think he's a great guy and know his future will be bright.

Belated Is My New Middle Name

I swear, I used to be good at this. I used to have every little thing written on my calendar which I faithfully looked at each and every day. Now I sometimes have things written down and if I'm lucky I look at it once a week. Such is the case this week.

I missed a very important date. Andy from Andyland had a birthday on Tuesday and I blew it off. Completely skipped over it. I even bought a real, live, paper card to send. I'm sorry, Andy... Forgive me? Hope it was a great one. If you haven't done so yet, go on over and tell him belated Happy Birthday... he'll probably know where it came from.