2006 Starting with a Fizzle

I just realized how lame it is that I'm blogging on New Years' Eve at 1 o'clock in the morning... okay, New Years' Day. My life, it is exciting. More so that Hubby and I actually stayed awake until 10 p.m. before deciding to hit the hay. (That's a little country term for you citified people - it means going to bed).

However, after the pound of cocktail shrimp, half dozen lil' smokies, hot spicy cheese dip, olives, crackers, canned cheese, leftover cold turkey, and coffee cake that I consumed before going to bed, sleep has found itself to be all but extinct.

Exception being: Hubby. This is a man who can no more than take off his glasses, kiss me goodnight, pet the cat and roll over than he is snoring. Also, I love the guy, but after an evening consuming beer and clamato juice cocktails, along with the aforementioned foods, the gas problem is... uh... obvious... to all but the people who have had their olfactory nerves severed.

Sooo... I crawl out of bed, slip into the other room and catch some of "Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve with Almost Everyone on the Planet Earth Except Dick Clark..." oh, WAIT... I heard his voice for ten seconds before the commercial break. By God, he's NOT dead! Sorry. Couldn't resist. After a bit of that nonsense I switched over to "New Year's Eve LIVE with Regis". Oh. My. Explain to me, please, how at 11:15 p.m. central time, New York Times' Square has dropped the ball with Dick Clark, but where Regis is standing in Times' Square - THREE BLOCKS FROM THE BALL (Regis told me that himself) it is LIVE and has not yet dropped. Huh? I know Regis is a very powerful TV personality, but even that takes the cake. The man can control time! I am in awe. Maybe he IS the anti-christ.

At last I give up on the celebrations and decide to just give up and read and/or blog until my eyes stay open no more... it's coming quickly, as I'm not as young as I used to be... and it's just another year. Pretty exciting here in Iowa, I tell ya! Hope you are having a safe and sane New Years' Eve and we'll see ya in the mornin'... oh, yeah... it's already morning...

Resolutions

...we don' need no stinkin' resolutions! Okay, maybe we do...

• be better about my health, including exersize and diet (I'll start soon...it doesn't have to be the first...)
• be nicer to my inlaws (bite your tongue)
• be more organized (a gal can dream)
• learn this "WoW" ("World of Warcraft") game that I got for Christmas from my "WoW" obsessed daughter and son-in-law (who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?)
• try to be more sociable (I can hear my children's hysterical laughter from miles away...)
• try new recipes...experiment on Hubby (he'll eat anything!)
• unpack the rest of my craft (Hubby calls 'crap') stuff so I can actually use it - it's only been packed for two one-and-a-half years
• start next years' Christmas shopping early (at least by December 1st)
• start next years' Christmas cards early (at least by December 15th)
• blog
• blog
• blog

Happy New Year's Everybody!!

I Own Beachfront Property

...in Florida! Thanks to Lisa, I've just received my own piece of beachfront property including a sea shell! Let us not forget the flip-flop keychain (how did SHE know I collect keychains? Hmmm...)

Thanks, Lisa! I feel so rich now!

Oh, Hell... It's Back

Serves me right. I pin a meme on my daughter and she sends it back. I suppose if I don't do it this time it's gonna haunt me. Maybe I need to take up Andy's attitude. Just say no.

This is the five weird things about me. Remember, I'M not the one saying they're weird. I'm a bit inspired by Darrell, so two of 'em are like his. (It's called cheating, people. Get over it.)

1. I'm anti-social. I have a very small circle of friends and am not comfortable around anyone else except those friends or my immediate family. When I say immediate, I mean as in my Hubby, kids, and their significant others and/or kids. This does not include parents, in-laws (of any way, shape or size) and extended family. Sorry. That's just the way it is. So far, the medication hasn't helped.

2. My kids like me. I like my kids. My kids like each other. Yep. Weird, I know.

3. I like some odd foods like liver and onions and cooked spinach. Even liked them as a kid. Didn't like hot dogs or popcorn until I was grown. Probably got sick on them when I was little and just don't remember, would be my guess. I'm sensitive to spicy food. No, not what YOU call spicy, what you call "mild"... uh huh... it burns. Makes for an interesting time at the local mexican restaurant.

4. I write my best works when I'm in a bad mood, depressed, or when the weather is gloomy. If it's a beautiful sunny day out, forget it. (Thanks for reminding me of this one, D.)

5. I have to have alone time. Daily. (Hubby would tell you this is part of "only child syndrome". Some day he'll write a book: The Care and Feeding of Your Only Child Spouse.) If I don't, I get a little nutso, cranky, whatever. This is not to mean Hubby can't be in the next room, and usually is. It just means I need some "me" time to read, write, nap, whatever without obligations to hold up my end of a conversation with anyone either in person or by telephone. Have I metioned I HATE the telephone? Okay, maybe that's number 6.

That's all ya get. Not tagging anyone 'cause I already did that. See all the good it did me?

More "Practice"

So... the two weeks are up and I had my doctor appointment today. First, the jaw pain is gone but the ears still have fluid. Refill that perscription. Yes, I got scolded about the diabetes. I'll try to do better in the new year. Honest. All my tests came back good but that one and it was high. Go figure. I could have told her that.

After a cursory exam, she decides my elbow-arm-shoulder pain is tendonitis. Ice the elbow and take Advil or Aleve. Wow. She couldn't tell me that one two weeks ago? Hmmm... I will say she was nicer this visit and more chatty and much more approachable. Maybe last time she was just grouchy.

The bowel problems are now being medicated. IBS, or irritable bowl syndrome is what she's guessing it is. We'll try this for awhile and see where it leads.

I had the mammogram this afternoon. I must say, I thank God that I have something there for that machine to squish, 'cause I sure as hell don't know how women who don't survive. It's not fun, but it's not horrid either, but then I have enough to get in that damn contraption. What a deal. Wonder who thought up this device, anyway? At any rate, she is thinking estrogen patches, but still won't start that until the end of January when I have to come back for a complete physical. Ka-ching! Yep... another visit. At that time she'll decide based on the mammogram if it looks safe for me to start. Guess another month of night sweats and hot flashes won't kill me. (For all you men out there, think... putting your testicles in a vice and squishing them flat as they'll go, then being told "don't breathe". Yeah. It's like that.)

That's about it. We return to our regularly scheduled rants.

The Holiday Slump

Anyone but me?

Planning and shopping
Rushing
Crushing
Lists. More Lists. Done? No.
The people
The lines
Eating and more eating
Money
God, the money!

Fresh snow
Clean
Hush
Sparkle
Candlelight
Ringing bells
Fairy lights
Silent Night
Deck the Halls
Midnight Mass
The Christmas Story

Children’s laughter
Cookies and milk
Night Before Christmas
Waiting
Waiting
Dreaming
Santa
Stockings
Naughty or Nice?
Scarves
Mittens
Snowmen
Cocoa

Joy
Hugs
Family
Friends
Peace
Goodwill
Laughter
More laughter
Miracle on 34th Street
Holiday Inn
White Christmas
“Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings…”
Warmth
Love
More Love

Goodbye
Silence
Tears (little)
Five loads of dishes
Ten loads of laundry
Ribbons and paper
Boxes
Bits of ribbon and paper

Gray
Melting
Fog
Slush
Cold
Quiet

Miss you

Tagged. I'm It.

DH tagged me...

This meme is supposed be me listing five weird things about myself and sending it on to five more people. In discussing this over the holidays with my youngest daughter, Em, we came to the realization that I’m really not that weird. She is. Therefore, I’m passing the buck. I’m tagging Em, Amanda, Andy, SC, and Balcap. I KNOW these people are weird.

Holiday Interruptus or a Word from Our Sponsor

Just so you know, I'm managing to get a few words out there, but am not seeing any time to come visit. I'll probably not get caught up with all of you until after Christmas at the earliest and New Years at the latest. You ARE in my thoughts, however, and I truly hope you and yours have a wonderful Holiday Season... don't do anything stupid extreme exciting fun while I'm away, okay? I'd hate to miss it. I'll catch up soon.

You Can't Kill 'Em IV

In the midst of the good weekend we were having last, I didn't want to ruin the mood on Monday by telling you what happened Monday morning... now that a few days have passed and I've had time to cool down I'll tell you. Oh, did I say I cooled down? I lied.

Recently Hubby traded in our ATV for a Rhino. It made more sense where the farm is concerned because he can haul stuff with it and can put a spray tank in the back for spraying fencerows - and he ain't gettin' any younger - it's much more comfortable to ride in. Besides that, it's kinda fun! I've been told this will be a tool I can utilize in my yard, too (ya think he was in the "selling" mode?).

Monday morning bright and early Hubby reported for airport duty. His mother was heading to his sisters' house for Christmas and he was delivering her to the airport. As he pulls in, he sees tracks all over the yard in the snow. I'll tell you... the indians have nothin' on this guy. He (and his Dad before him) can just look at the drive and tell if someone has been there, what kind of vehicle it is, and probably then know who owns it! At any rate, he asks his mom what all the tracks came from (just to see what she'd say).

MIL: THE oldest BOY (see previous post) took my garbage out for me. With. The. Rhino.
Hubby: Uh huh. Then what? He rode all over hell and back with it?
MIL: I don't know, I wasn't watching him.
Hubby: Well, neither was his dad - BIL.
MIL: He was out in the shop changing the oil in his truck.
Hubby: Without asking. As usual. Did anyone think to ask if he could ride it? Did anyone call me on my cell phone that I have on 24-7?
MIL: Oh, son, you always get so worked up about this.
Hubby: By 'this' do you mean the time THE BOY took the ATV out of the shop and rode it around before we even owned it? Do you mean the time the ATV got taken out, ridden all over, and put back - without anyone mentioning they rolled it and screwed up the handlebars until I found it and specifically asked about it? Is that the 'this' you are referring to?

Or maybe it's the 'this' when Em's stuff got messed with. (Okay, he didn't say this one, but I wish he had!!)

No. Respect.
None.

This is what it comes down to. Come out to the farm and just do whatever you want with whatever you see and nobody says a word. We have never ever even asked to borrow anything of theirs, let alone taken it without asking. Asshat BIL has a classic Mustang he's really proud of he's storing for the winter in MIL's garage... wonder what he'd think if Hubby grabbed that and went for a drive in the snow and mud, then just put it back without saying anything? Oh, and didn't bother to offer to pay for the fuel for this little joyride - everyone knows fuel is so cheap now, right?

I don't know how Hubby can come from this family. It's been a few days and I still feel like smacking that kid. Hard. At least MIL is gone so we don't have to endure a Hallmark Christmas Eve with these people. Arrrggghhhh!!!

Flashback - Just to Refresh Your Memory

You Can't Kill 'Em II

Once upon a time, there were a BIL and a SIL (sister-in-law, not to be confused with son-in-law)who had two boy monsters creatures flying monkeys children that were the most horrid evil wild precious children on the face of the planet. Just ask them. They'll tell you. There were days that went from sunup to sundown when voices wouldn't be raised in anger or jealousy or meanness or spite. (Sorry, I just swallowed my tongue. Happens every time I lie.)BIL is the best flake fake looser leech dad in the world. SIL is the best harp whiner screamer bitch gossip mom in the world. With parents like this, how could THE BOYS lose? (Yes, this must always be said with capital letters.)

When they were smaller versions of rat bastards themselves, they would get into something they shouldn't and SIL would scream, "Jim*...! "He'd ignore her. "Jimmy!"...."Jimmy Bob stop that!".... "James Robert, I said to stop that!"... You get the picture. This happened once when we were standing out by our cornfield and Little Jimmy* was digging up corn plants with his shoe. This is our income, our livelihood. This is not a good thing.She'd yell, then go on with her conversation and ignore him until she decided to yell again at which time he'd ignore her again, until finally BIL would be called into play... "BIL, Go DO SOMETHING with your son!"... He'd look at her, look at the kid, and take another swig of his beer/pop/whatever. Realizing everyone was looking at him to DO SOMETHING, he'd take the kid to another room of the house or around the corner of the shed, where he was told he'd been naughty and to not do it again. For at least another 5 minutes, okay?

I've got four kids. I'm not into abuse, honest I'm not... but a swat on the butt isn't beyond my realm of possibility when a kid is just plain ignoring you. I'm talking when they are at that young, impressionable stage in life when a swat can do some good. After they reach a certain age, then you can take away the internet cableTV car keys food.Yeah, you can argue with me that they'll end up all damaged and hating life, but believe me these people did these kids no favors.I'm also totally against punishing or berating a child in front of their parents. I hate it when others did it to my kids (most notibly BIL and SIL before they had children. With the look that says, MY kids won't do that when I have kids!) and I feel if the parents are there it is their responsibility to handle it. Unless we're talking doing something that would cause them death, like running in the street or catching their hair on fire. Then I'll step in. Only then. Even if I have to bite my tongue until it bleeds.

Point in fact: A few years have gone by and now they are pre-teens. (Actually, now they are teens, but this happened a couple of years ago). Still, basically getting away with anything and everything. MIL has a huge house that she offered to let our youngest daughter live in with her for a couple of semesters while going to college. It was nice for her since she was newly widowed, and it was nice for our daughter - living with family. Daughter has to be gone for a month with a school project out-of-state. MIL asks one of THE BOYS (the oldest) to stay overnight for a night or two. Nothing you'd think twice about, right?Daughter came home. Starting finding things 'not-quite-right' with her things. Let's see... nail polish remover in her toothpaste? Bottles of expensive skin care products dumped out. Perfume dumped out. Underwear rifled. A couple of blank checks missing from her checkbook. Do you get the idea?First she tells us. We're flabbergasted. (That's an Iowa word for those of you who don't know - it means gobsmacked). We can't imagine what happened. Then we found out Freddy* spent the night downstairs among daughter's things. Hubby mentioned it to MIL. MIL couldn't imagine it could be him! If not him, we asked, then WHO? Who has been at your house? Nobody. It's locked. She lives there alone. No one has been over except Freddy*. Uh huh.

Now, Hubby asks if she is going to have the talk with BIL... 'cause he knows if HE brings it up there will be feudin' like you've only seen in the south. (Apologies to you people from the south.)Okay, she'll talk to him.We heard BIL got a talkin' to. Oh, yes. We heard THE BOY got a talkin' to - sort of. We heard he admitted to some of it. WTF? SOME? How could he just do some of it and yet all the other was done, too? Yeah, we be stupid.That was the end of it. No apologies to daughter. No offers to replace and/or pay her back for all the expensive items ruined. Nothing....and they wonder why we don't have them over for 'family events'.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocents little shits.

30 Years Ago Today

Hope (originally posted on the Dark Madness October 2005)

Two weeks before my 19th birthday my (ex) husband and I moved into a new apartment. I was very sick with a kidney infection and was in pain that I'd never felt before. Every slight movement was agony. I constantly felt as though a knife was piercing my back and my (ex) husband couldn't even sit on the bed without sending me into spasms of white hot pain.

We lived in a fairly large city and the powers that be decided that our name would be on the list for having a telephone installed when they said so. My (ex) husband pleaded with them, explaining I was very sick and pregnant, but they wouldn't budge. Two days after my birthday I was sitting on the toilet, feeling for the thousandth time that day that I had to pee, and not producing anything but a drop or two in the toilet. My (ex) husband had just arrived home and was checking on me when whoosh! my water broke into the basin. I was stunned. I wasn't due for two months!

Except for the water breaking, I was fine - better than fine, actually, because for a few moments I realized I no longer had the other pain. Having no phone, we at least were lucky enough that our apartment complex was right next door to a convenience store with a payphone. My (ex) husband ran over and called the doctor. Doctor asks if I'm in pain or bleeding. No and no. He says to bring me into the hospital.

In the few minutes it took for him to call, I'd gone from no pain and no bleeding to bleeding like a stuck pig. He runs back to the store and calls the doc again - now he's yelling to get me to the hospital as quickly as possible and he'll meet us there. I didn't think I'd make it. It was a blur. Literally. I can't see worth a darn without my glasses and just the way it worked out, he'd whisked me out of the apartment without them! He drove like a maniac - through town, onto the freeway - to downtown where the hospital was. It was a good twenty minute drive if you obeyed all the laws, and I'm sure we made it in ten. (I'll never know how he got all the blood out of the car.)

They wisked me inside and he went to fill out forms. They were getting ready to prep me, but one look and they said, no time - that's it... we have to go now! My beautiful baby girl was born three minutes later. 3lb 5 oz. she was the smallest baby they'd had so far at this hospital (until a one pounder was born the next week). They were transferring her to a bigger hospital that had the best NICU unit in the state, but they brought her by my room so I could see her first. only thing was, they couldn't take her out of the incubator. In all actuality, I didn't get to see my daughter until a few days later when they let me out of the hospital!

That was a horrible time. my parents and (ex) husband were at the other hospital with the baby. They could go into the NICU and hold her and touch her and everything, and I was stuck across town not being able to. My parents would call up and, I should hope they were well-meaning, when they would say things preparing me for her death. They were sure she wouldn't make it.

After the initial "touch and go", the doctors said she was doing well - they only had to open her lungs up all the way and keep her under the bilirubin light, but other than that she was fine, she just needed to gain weight.When I finally got to see her she was so tiny and beautiful. The nurses all talked about how her hair was different than any they'd ever seen - it was light brown, but when you looked at it straight on, it looked frosted! It was amazing.

For all the terrible things I had done in my life... and all the terrible things that would come back to haunt me later... this precious child, my firstborn, gave me hope. She's never stopped.

Footnote: She has grown into a beautiful woman, wife and mother. She is the smallest of the four children, but has the biggest laugh. She is a remarkable person with unlimited capability to love. Please go over to Curious Are We and wish Manda a happy birthday today...!

Oh MY!

Wow. Where to start? Do I begin by taking Em out behind the woodshed for hacking? Hmmm...

It wasn't like I was keeping it a secret, people... I was just BUSY! I must say I am completely overwhelmed by the wonderful comments you all left. I've said it before, and will say it again... I can't believe how lovely you all are - and I've never even met you! This internet thing is pretty neat. For those inquiring minds, I'm 49. I've never been one of those women to lie about her age... I figure I earned every year and Hubby, being almost seven years older will always be older than I am, so it's not a big deal to tell my age. (DH) - (Oh, and I'll get to the tag thing as soon as I get a second).

It was a wonderful weekend, actually... My husband got me XM satellite radio for my birthday/Christmas (yes, he is allowed to combine presents). He took me to the store so I could pick out just what I wanted, and then we made an appointment to have it installed in my vehicle. I got the kind that can come out and be put into a boombox in the house or on the deck or whatever. They could get us in at 8 o'clock on Sunday, so that was fast!

Saturday night we had a party to go to at some friends. These people don't stress me as much as some other groups, and we left early seeing as I had to get up early. It was nice.

Sunday morning, bright and early, I took the Tahoe to get the radio installed. Hubby picked me up and took me to breakfast while it was being done and we killed a little time shopping. Back to pick it up, I had to wait a little bit, but I had a book so no biggie.

Sidenote: I get a phone call from Hubby while I'm waiting for the truck. "The dogs won't come back inside! Are you on the way home yet? ...and now the cat got out!" He swears he is never letting them out again... by the time I got home he had the pups in, but cat still out. We got her in, tho'.

A little later in the day we went to my parents' house for dinner and to see their Christmas decorations. All new, since they had that fire... they did a nice job. We had a good visit. Home in late afternoon, I was trying to address the office Christmas cards. I do this every year for work - I have a nice laser printer at work, but it won't do those little envelopes for cards so I always bring them home to do. (I used to hand address them, but that's for the birds!). With 200+ left to go, my printer quit working. Arrrgghhh!! Too late to go get one, I waiting until Monday morning and ran out and bought a new printer so I could finish them.

Yesterday morning I got them finished, then worked a little bit, and ended up shopping the rest of the day. May I say except for a couple of minor stocking stuffers I'm DONE. Thank you very much...! The "one day wonder". Don't ever ask me to do this again.

Finally, last night we met up at Red Lobster with our oldest daughter, her husband and son, and our oldest son and his girlfriend. Em, of course, lives down there in the wilds of Kansas so we didn't have her, and our youngest son and girlfriend have been on a snowmobile trip to Colorado for a week (just home this morning!)... so it was a smaller than usual group. This was a birthday dinner for our oldest daughter, Manda... more on her birthday in the next post. A great time was had by all - lots of laughter and good food. Just the way I like it!

Now I'm off work for the rest of the week (unless they call me in for something they can't handle). I AM going to get my Christmas cards out... those of you who are waiting might not get them until after Christmas, but it's the thought, right? I have a whole bunch of cookies to bake for a cookie-exchange party on Thursday night, and a house to clean before everyone comes.

I just want to say once more... THANK YOU for all the birthday wishes. You guys are terrific!!

It's my birthday.

I honor of my mother's birthday, I(em) hacked into her blogger account so that everyone would know that ITS HER BIRTHDAY!!!

Love ya mom.

:)

*boy it's fun being psychic.

The Countdown Begins

I'm just about ready to get serious about Christmas. Today is my last "official" day of work (until after Christmas). I have to pop in on Monday morning for about an hour, but I'm not even counting that. I figure that's just going to be a motivation to put on clothes, my face, and be presentable enough to go hit the stores afterwards... otherwise, I could become jammie-bound. (Some of you understand this.)

Tomorrow night we have an open house to attend. As much as I'm not a party person, these people have been very good friends to us, especially Hubby, over the past years so it won't be too bad. I'll tough it out. I'm starting to psych myself up now - by tomorrow night I should be okay.

Tonight or tomorrow I have to address the 300+ cards that our office is sending out, but that's not going to be too bad - I get to do that at home and I'm paid for doing it, so it's not that big of a deal. I have my own cards to get out (thank you everyone who has been sending me addresses... they'll be coming, promise!) and ten dozen cookies to bake for a Christmas Cookies exchange party next week. I don't normally do parties of any kind, but it's a co-workers' wife and they swore there would be no silly games and lots of munchies... and adult beverages! Woot!

Sunday we're going to my parents' house for my birthday. I haven't seen their decorations yet - haven't been to their house since we got into the field, so it's been awhile. Looking forward to a good dinner (my parents are excellent cooks) and a relaxing visit.

Monday night we're going to Red Lobster for our oldest daughter's birthday. I love seafood and we don't go there often enough, either. Her birthday isn't until Tuesday, but that was what worked out the best. Unfortunately, her littlest brother won't be back from Colorado by then, and Em won't be up from K.C., but her Hubby, little boy, younger brother and his girlfriend and Hubby and myself will be there. Should be a good time.

Sometime in all of this I need to get my shopping and wrapping done, figure out what I need to get for groceries as we're having everyone here for Christmas dinner, and do some last-minute cleaning.

I've got the Christmas tunes going... and it keeps on snowing! I should definately be getting in the mood any minute now...

Don't you think it's a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?*

So, if you don't want to listen to whiney descriptions of bodily functions, skip this post.

I had a doctor appointment yesterday afternoon. I have a whole list of ailments that I've been putting off seeing a doctor for in the hopes that they will go away on their own. They haven't, and I went.

First, as I've explained before, I'm a type II diabetic. A naughty, neglectful one. Please don't scold. I'm old enough to know better. I go in swings of good and bad, probably linked to other things going on in my life. Stress tends to set me off schedule... as does the moon, chocolate, and Pepsi. Okay, did I mention I'm a naughty diabetic? Yeah. Okay... So. My one years' worth of diabetic med perscriptions is about to wear off and I have to go give blood, pee in a cup, and in a couple of weeks when the tests come back, probably be scolded like a four-year-old. Got the meds refilled for another three months.

I started taking Lexapro about a year ago because of my (I hate this term) social anxiety. I've said before I'm anti-social and you didn't believe me. I really, truly am. I've put up with it for years, but figured what-the-hell I'd ask my doc about it (the old doc) and see if I was someone that an anti-depressent might help. He thought so and perscribed it. I think it may have helped a little bit, but either I'm getting used to it or something because lately it's been worse. Talked to this new doc about it and she thought I should double up. Okay. Will do. Then the kicker... "but I think you should see a counselor". WTF??? No way in hell. This has been explained in earlier posts and maybe some on the Dark Madness, but counselor... ain't gonna happen. So, we'll be discussing that one later (in two weeks?) I would assume.

Then, I've been having arm/shoulder pain. The last time this happened - much more severely, I might add - I ended up having upper back surgery. Not fun. This time it's not so bad, but has been increasingly getting worse. Well, gee... I've put up with it for three months and she (the doc) just doesn't have time to address this issue right now. Let's put it on the schedule for two weeks from now.

My ear and jaw hurt. A lot. I thought it was my jaw only at first, because I figured I'd been clenching my teeth in my sleep - a stress thing. Then, in the past week or two I decided I could feel things moving around in my ear. Well, surprise! She says I have fluid in both ears and my glands are swollen. She's surprised I don't have a fever! Huh. She tells me she'll give me something for it (then, ironically, forgets and I have to call on the way home for them to call the pharmacy to perscribe it.)

I have long-time bowel troubles that I've never brought up to a doctor, because frankly I don't like talking about bowel troubles. (So, here I am spewing about it to the world... go figure). I have days I go without 'going'... then the flood gates break and I'm having the runs. The cycle continues... ugh. Not without some pain involved, I might add. Well, gee... we'll just talk about that one in a couple of weeks, too.

As much as I whine and crab about being an "old" lady... and yes, except for maybe Cait, I'm older than most of you, I am not OLD old... if that makes sense. My birthday is coming up this weekend and I'll give you all a chance to pounce on me then. However, years ago, in my 20's, I had a hysterectomy so I've not had the 'pleasure' of the monthly visits from Aunt Flo. However, this can complicate things when you start perceiving yourself as having hot flashes and night sweats and... well... gee? Could I be going through menopause? Doc says yes, but won't perscribe any estrogen until I have a mammogram... in... all together now... two weeks. D'ya see a pattern here?

Basically, for an hour and a half sitting in a doctors office I got five perscriptions renewed (two seconds), blood and urine taken (30 seconds), and some blah blah blah (5 minutes). The rest has been "postponed" for two weeks. Wonder what the bill for this visit's gonna be?

*Quote from Fontgarden.com

Keep 'Em Coming!

I've gotten a very few responses to my card offer... what? You don't trust me? You're afraid I'll come and getcha? What? Honest, I'm a middle-aged, midwest, very bland person that doesn't like to leave the house. It would be hard for me to get up the gumption to come stalk you...

For those of you who can't figure out my e-mail address, here it is: sesnyde@direcway.com.
Spammers, stay away please.

Remember, Christmas is coming and I'm sending these SOON, so hurry!

Cards Anyone?

For anyone who wants to give up their anonymity and would like some real-world contact, send me your snail-mail address via e-mail and I'll see what I can whip up before Christmas! I promise you I'm not a stalker and will not sell your address to any junk mail advertisers - no matter how much money they offer. I am not responsible for mail arriving late or damaged. I am not responsible for lack of content or humor. Most is in the eye of the beholder, ya know...?

Those of you who have already contacted me by snail mail (you know who you are) do not need to apply again. You are already on the list.

Just Another (Snowy) Day

Ahhh... I slept like a dead person last night. After a short nap yesterday afternoon, we went to our youngest son's girlfriends' nursing graduation ceremony. It was very nice. There were about thirty people in her class and they all had their families there. Was a very pleasant time. We were there with her folks, her brother, and her grandmother. We've known her family (except Grammy) for awhile now and we all get along great... as a matter of fact, her dad and my husband have been teased about how much they look and act alike!

After the ceremony, we went to dinner and had a laughter-filled evening. Her brother is a John Malkovich look-alike and has the dry dead-pan humor to go with. He kept everyone highly entertained! We always enjoy spending time with her family - and ours.

(BTW: We found out Em is going to be home for three days over Christmas! WHOOT! ... and she's bringing SC this time! I can't wait... all my kids will be home for Christmas morning and dinner... all my favorite people at my favorite time of year!)

During dinner it started snowing. Big flakes... I'm talking quarter-to-half-dollar sized. Probably the biggest flakes I've ever seen. Beautiful. Until you have to drive it in. We were about 40 miles from home, and it made for a long drive, even on the interstate. We were supposed to get 4-6", but most of it went north so we're sitting in only about 2" new snow. It's still snowing and spitting rain this morning, but not really piling up, just making the roads messy. The pups didn't even stay out long this morning...!

After getting home from the ceremony, youngest son and girlfriend left during the wee hours of the morning for Colorado to go snowmobiling. Wish the road would have been better, but if he can handle a race car he can surely handle a little snow... As a worried parent I'll be sticking to the phone until I know they made it safely... and then keep fussing until they're home again safe next week. I know you understand if you're a parent... no matter how old they are, they're always our 'babies'.

Looking forward to getting off early today. I've got a doctor appointment to address a whole bunch of issues... won't get into it now.... maybe by then the weather will straighten out a bit.

Now, if only my shopping were done...hey, a gal can dream, can't she???

You're Getting Sleepy...

I wasn't wrong. It did end up being a long night... I was up until 4:45 a.m., went to bed and set the alarm for 7:00 and started all over working until noon. (Our appointment was at 1 o'clock). I got it done, tho'!

Don't know how I managed to get up and get going again, but I did... our meeting went very well. He's not even charging us his annual fee since he figures he didn't do anything this last year, so we're getting a free year of service! I think, after the initial confusion, that this is going to be a lifesaver this time of year. If it all works out how it should, my winters will once again be fun. Not entirely stress-free, but a huge load will be lifted. I can't tell you how many times I've wondered how my father, a life-long accountant, could not have passed those math genes on to me. How much simpler my life would be if it all made sense!

Bless my husband. He is the one who got this all set up for me. He knows how I stress. He knows how I fret and worry and how my perfectionism (and fear of the IRS) keeps me worrying about this stuff all winter. In February, things settle out a bit and all the year-end stuff is put to bed and I get to actually relax. This may not make winter totally stress free, as there will still be my job and the regular bill-paying, household chores, and critters... not to mention the birthdays and holidays, but at least this math shit won't be hanging over my head. Keep your fingers crossed it all works the way it should... we'll know in a few short months whether it's going to or not. I have confidence it will, tho'. This guy has been our accountant for years and he's a good guy. It was just some mis-communication this year that caused the problems, I'm sure.

I'm gonna take a nap.

Random Spewing

Let's see... it's been a couple of days, I'm sure I can come up with something.

Saturday I managed to squeeze in some housecleaning, tree decorating (I'd post the picture but it looks exactly like the one from last year, so just page down a little and you'll see it.) and laundry. You know, the usual. I baked a cake for my birthday boy man (he doesn't eat cake, but it's a nice birthday-type thing to do and everyone else eats it!) and got the rest of the dinner things ready that I could do ahead of time.

Then I started tackling the bookwork. Oh, blech! Blech! Blech! I don't know if I've explained this before, but we farm. We have year-end stuff to go over so that our tax accountant can figure out if we need to spend more money before the end of the year so our tax bill isn't too high. Then, after the first of the year we have to present our bank with our cashflow and net worth statements. Usually, that part of it I do in January and snatch myself bald doing it. Besides the farm work (combining, field work, marketing the grain, trucking, mechanical upkeep, etc.) that Hubby does, I do all the bill paying and bookwork involved with the farm. This year, in an effort to make my life easier (he does try, honest he does!) Hubby contracted the tax accountant to not only do the tax part of the work, but to do the cashflow, net worth, and this year-end estimating crap. That would be fine, except the appointment we were supposed to have with said accountant in April never happened. At that time he was going to give me our own set of "codes" with which to code the cancelled checks and get the rest of the paperwork to him. After that, it was to be a monthly coding of the checks and getting it to his office for them to do the rest.

We didn't hear from him until October. I'm sorry, but October does not work into my schedule. In October I rarely see daylight. I'm at work before dawn and home after dark and running food to the field in the meantime. I do NOTHING extra in September, October and November (and anymore, it seems to run into December, too.)

Well, thinking this was a lost cause, I kind of forgot about getting my ducks in a row... until last week when Hubby talked to the accountant and explained the situation, and he agreed to still do this. Uh oh. This means I'm in deep doo-doo. My ducks not only have to get in a row, they have to sit at attention and speak! Shit.

Thinking I would take some time off last week to accomplish this got me no where. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Things at work kept popping up and they were all emergencies that couldn't be put off. Then my Hubby got his new computer and I spent all afternoon Friday working on that. What should have been easy got very difficult and ended up in a high speed run to Staples for a new printer at 6 p.m.

Saturday afternoon after I got my other chores done, I was able to finally sit down and start on my mess. Until the dinner party started. Then, Sunday, I tried again. I don't know what is wrong with me. I am usually the most organized person in the universe... I'm falling apart. My brain is turning to mush. My shoulder and arm and neck are killing me (I'm going to the doc on Wednesday) - I think it's just a stress/muscle thing, but damn, it hurts! I'm looking at this pile and wondering if I will ever see the light of day... and my brain is whirling. I have until tomorrow. At 1 p.m. God help me.

It isn't as though our accountant is going to yell. He's really a very nice guy and we've known him a long time and he is very smart and knows his stuff. It isn't as though Hubby will yell. He knows HE doesn't want this job. It isn't as though my world will come to a screeching halt and thunder and lightening will crash down around my ears. I just feel bad. Really bad. I should have had this done. I should have done a better job keeping caught up. I should have known this day was coming. Why did I procrastinate so? Let's put it this way... it's going to be a loooong night tonight. Wish me luck!

Five Things I Dreamed of Getting for Christmas

...as a kid. This is from Plaza Jen.

1.) An Eazy-bake oven. You know. The one that bakes "safely" with a light bulb? I got it and loved it to pieces.

2.) A pair of spring shoes. Yes, they were shoes with springs in them that you could bounce to your little hearts' content... and I did.

3.) Ice skates and roller skates. Got 'em. Used the daylights out of them.

4.) A Barbie dream house. Didn't get the house, but got the car. Also, my grandmother and mother made clothes that I wished I still had. That girl was dressed to the nines!! My mother gave her away and all her stuff when I was in junior high. I wish I still had them. They'd be worth a pretty penny now!

5.) A bicycle. Got it. Blue. Baskets on the back. Be-a-u-ti-ful. I rode the tires off that thing.

How about you??

Happy Birthday, Baby!

This is my eldest son's birthday. He is a poor blogger, as he claims he only blogs when he's upset about something, so maybe that's a good thing. He hasn't posted for awhile. Still, pop on over to Front Step and give him a Happy Birthday - maybe that'll get him going again. You can check out The Dark Madness - there is a post dedicated to him there, too.

I am so proud of this man. Yes, he is a man... 28 years old today. He was just a baby when his father and I divorced and he went through the custody issues before he was old enough to understand what was going on. He and his older sister were shuffled from a strained family situation, to living with the ex's at his parents' home, to finally being allowed by the courts to come to this new home with myself and my new husband.

Side note: My husband is a remarkable person. He stood by he through it all and accepted my kids as his own... gritting his teeth every time the kids went to the ex's for weekends, he felt as though he was sending his own kids off to someone else for the weekend. He hated it, but he tolerated it for my sake... and for the kids.

We tried very hard to 'play nice' where the kids were concerned. We didn't bad talk the ex or his family, and I tried very hard to keep him involved in the kids' life. I would arrange meetings to give him report cards, school photos, to talk about what was going on in their lives, and I always let him know when there were ballgames, plays, or other school events that I encouraged him to participate in. I tried to make him feel comfortable when he did come - and not feel as though he was in the spotlight.

Somehow, he managed to still drop out of their lives. The new woman in his life that eventually became his wife may have had something to do with it. She wanted children, but never warmed to the kids. After trying to "buy" their love and having them see right through that, she pretty much gave up. Gradually he would be busy on the weekends and ask me to keep the kids. I was secretly thrilled. I loved having the kids with me! He wouldn't come to the school events, and over the years he even began to forget birthdays, holidays and other special events. His mother would call the eldest daughter and let her know about family things, but no one called the son. Why? No reason. His phone number didn't change. They knew where to find him... they just figured daughter would tell him. Still, it's hard not to feel included.

Years passed and things haven't changed much. They still don't call. I know he's hurt, but he puts on a 'game' face and is a bigger person than I would be. I am so proud of him. He recently graduated from college after years of hard work. On. His. Own. He deserves all the success he can grab - he's been hard at it for a long time.

He's a terrific guy. Someone any mother would happy to call their own. He is nice looking, has a great sense of humor, smart and kind. How many people do you know that are still good friends with their high school buddies at the age of 28? He is. Not only with high school friends, but he's met others and is a great friend to them all.

I had some other wonderful things here, but damn blogger lost it... sigh .... figures. Suffice it to say, I love this guy... Happy Birthday, Baby!

Whiteout

I should have stayed home. Seriously. It's snowing and you can't see a damn thing. I almost drove off our very own driveway this morning!

I'm trying to finish up some stuff before I take off for a couple of days. Of course, I've been trying to take off for a couple of days already, but the work is still coming, so I'm still working. (Did that make sense?)

This is my favorite, and most dreaded time of the year. I love Christmas time... especially when we get snow. Just doesn't even seem like Christmas without it. Well, this year we're pretty much sure to have it. We've got about 8" on the ground, plus another couple coming today and it's been below zero for temps, so there isn't any thawing going on.

I just get over-stressed. We have birthdays, holiday parties, work is still happening, and it's year-end tax stuff to organize for the farm. There is cleaning and laundry and dishes and cooking and all the 'usual' stresses besides.

I need to get things done before our appointment with our tax man next Tuesday. This is a dreaded job. Especially when I haven't been keeping up with my bookwork as well as usual. Why? I don't know. I've got a mental block against it this year. It has to be done, however... no two ways about it.

I haven't even started Christmas shopping. This can't be good.

Is it any wonder I'm not sleeping? Thanks everyone for your well wishes... I'm sure it will be fine. Keep the good thoughts and I'll catch up with you all when I can. Obviously, I'm behind again.

Now I hope I can find my way home.

In Search of.... Sleep

It must be that time of year. The nights of going to sleep... exhausted... only to wake up sometime between midnight and two a.m. and start the tossing and turning. Some nights I just make myself lay there and pet the cat who has inevitably realized I'm awake the minute my eyes pop open and climbed on top of me to "make me soft"... what one friend calls "making biscuits". Other nights I try and be semi-productive. Hard to do when you are trying to be quiet and not wake up the rest of the household critters (i.e. puppies and Hubby).

More often than not, I slip downstairs to the warmth of the fireplace, the cozy blanket I've wrapped around me, and the book or blog in hand.

I also have a sneaking suspicion that I may be starting 'the change'. Du-du-DUM! Yeah. I've started the every-so-lovely hot flashes I've heard so much about and it's not pleasant. I swear, I go to bed freezing and wake up sweating my ass off. Over and over. I have a doctor appointment next week, so we'll be running that one by them, too.

I've been a bad blogger - again. The snow didn't do what it was supposed to and work has been a zoo, not to mention Christmas, year-end-farm stuff, a few birthdays thrown in, parties and get-togethers galore (and we all know how much I love those... not!) I'm ready for February.

Wrestling With The Tree

Last year we had a dilemma. We had a small artificial tree and wanted a large artificial tree, but didn't want to pay lots of bucks to get one. Enter the family trade. My MIL gave us her artifical (pre-lit) tree, we gave our smaller artifical (non-pre-lit) tree to our son, and MIL bought a new, smaller tree. Everyone was happy. Except, apparently, the tree.

(Note to artifical tree haters: I do artifical for a couple of reasons. One, I would rather have the live trees in my yard, not in my house. Two, I don't like pine needles all over - they hurt very badly when you are barefoot and ram one into your foot as you walk through the house. Three, I was told pine needles were the one thing that could really clog up my vacuum. Four, I like to have the tree up before my son's birthday (coming up this week) and I don't like to take it down until after New Years. That leaves a lot of dead time for a real tree. If you still are dissatisfied with this, then I'm sorry and I hope you enjoy your real tree - remember, keep it watered well so you don't burn the house down. Oh, and I do envy you the smell. All the air freshner and candles in the world aren't the same as the real thing.)

Last year, it had a dark spot. You know, one little patch that no matter how much you changed or checked or tightened the bulbs, or changed the fuses, it wouldn't light. No biggie. MIL said it was that way for her and she turned that part toward the wall. We did that. No problemo.

Until now. Now, it seems, our tree is going on strike. We not only have the original little dark spot, but the top chunk is dark, as well as about four other 'spots' throughout the tree. I've done all the shaking, changing, tightening and cursing that is required in these situations and it has done no good. Not one dark spot has lit up and said 'thank you'.

So, I tossed the idea out to the kids: last years' tree was white lights with silver and white decorations. This was their chance to have input on what I did with the tree. I figure I can't just buy lights to 'fill in' the dark places, I'm going to buy strings and start from the ground up. This means if they want I can go with colored lights or even the old-fashioned ones. Try something new. Three of the four have responded and the fourth is outnumbered - the overwhelming choice was to have it as last year. I was kind of surprised, actually. Guess the old fashioned stuff is out.

Now I just have to go buy some more lights.

Oh, did I mention the swag lights I put on the front porch have a couple of strands that have evidently talked to the tree? Yeah... they're on strike, too. Damnit. Now Hubby's talking about stringing this all around the back deck, too. That sounds like...um...fun...yeah...fun... (rolling eyes). I suppose it would look cool. I just remember how friggin' cold it was the day I put the front ones on. It hasn't gotten any warmer out.

So, how's your decorating going??

(The picture is last years tree - just after decorating, before gifts)

A Christmas Memory

As a child, I lived with my grandparents until I was five. My cousins lived in the same time and they were close to my age. I was an only child, so it was as a gift of temporary siblings. One Christmas I remember going back to my grandparents for a large family celebration.

My grandparents had a camper, and us kids spent the night there... giggling and trying to keep each other awake so we could see Santa sneak into the house. The cookies and milk had been set out and we all had opinions as to which ones he'd like the best. My grandma's tree was live and the house was full of the pine scent. Back then there was no such thing as 'artifical' trees. The lights were huge round balls of various colors, and the ornaments were shiny and bright, reflecting the glow. Already wrapped packages tucked under the limbs and overflowed out into the room... all of us scolded at one time or another during the evening not to dare touch the presents. Of course, there were always the adults that would go by and pick up a random package and shake it, making dire predictions as to what the package held.

How our eyes shone with wonder as we flocked in the house on Christmas morning, our jammie feet covered with snow we were too much in a hurry to brush off. My girl cousins and I got beautiful dolls with gowns and flowing hair... just right for brushing and brushing and brushing. My boy cousins got cowboy hats and cap pistols. (Before everyone became so p.c.)

Dinner was only a momentary pause for us kids between playing our new games and making the adults play with us one day out of the year. They were full and most of them would rather play games with the kids than clear the table and do the dishes. This was before dishwashers, too.

By evening the house would be full of tired, cranky kids and even more tired cranky adults. Everyone anxious to get home to their own beds and some peace and quiet. Another Christmas come and gone... at least one toy or doll broken already. Home, to dream of another year of wishes.

Red Ribbons

It's snowing. Again. More. Lots. I've got homemade bread going, homemade chicken soup on the stove, the fireplace, Christmas music on the stereo, and a thick book on my lap. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE this???

I couldn't get a good enough picture, but had to share this miracle of a winter moment. I came upstairs yesterday afternoon to see the large mulberry tree outside the deck festooned with red ribbons. At least, that's what it looked like. I was so amazed that my mouth dropped in wonder. You've probably figured out from the picture, but yes, it was covered with cardinals. Gorgeous, fire-engine red male cardinals. They were spread out as though I had personally placed each one on its' own branch and told it to stay there. I stopped counting at ten, as I ran to get my camera... and I tried to get a few photos, but only I will be able to see them in the trees, as I kept getting flashback on the window and couldn't seem to get zoomed in or out in a good enough way to catch the magnitude of what I was seeing. The most I saw last winter at a time, were six. Hubby says they're getting the word out... I know male cardinals don't get along in the spring and summer, so it's very strange to see so many hanging out together in the wintertime when they will tolerate each other.

Of course, besides the males there were at least 5 females I counted, three bluejays, and the finches, nuthatches and woodpeckers. But I tell ya, those cardinals are heart-stoppers.

Hope you're getting to enjoy this beautiful day!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Call me a lazy sack of shit, but I'm home again... enjoying the snow, the Christmas decorations I managed to get up, and the smell of cookies wafting out of my kitchen permeating the whole house.

I've started to think about Christmas cards and the annual letter - this year will seem like a book with all the major events! I don't know how you cut out some things, tho'...

• My parents' house burning to the ground in January - losing everything except each other and the dog
• Our youngest daughter graduating from college, getting married, moving away and getting a puppy
• Our oldest boy graduating from college, not getting married, but finding a really sweet girlfriend, and moving away
• Our youngest son getting the track championship in his stock car division - by one point
• Our youngest son's girlfriend graduating this month from nursing school - and talk of marriage thick in the air
• New critters in our home and in youngest son's, too
• Our eldest daughter and her wonderful family - including our ever-maturing grandson

How to you pick and choose? Hubby always thinks we come off "too good" to be true. Damnit, sometimes things (and people) just ARE that good, don't you think? I mean, yes, we all have faults but when counting our blessings isn't it nice to be able to say "I love these people"? Yeah. I thought so.

Walkin' In a Winter Wonderland

Yep. It's like that.

We got 4-5" of snow last night and I'm so tickeled I can barely see straight. Why? Several reasons. First, it means that as of this minutes my workload may decrease for the year. Yippee! It means the busy season has come to a screeching halt. I still have some work to finish, but the new stuff should stop until it either thaws and warms, or spring comes.

Second, I like snow. I'm weird, I admit it. Doesn't mean I actually want to be out in it, mind you, it just means that when it snows and the world gets all clean looking and quiet and I am home in front of the fireplace with a pot of homemade stew in the crock pot, cookies baking in the oven, all my critters tucked in their various favorite 'nesting' places, and a good book in my hand... I'm literally in heaven.

I can see the birdfeeders outside my window - I have five different ones, plus a couple of suet feeders. The snow means the birds come flocking to the feeders and as of this morning I saw three bluejays, two male and one female cardinal, a dozen nuthatches, finches - both gold and house (they're redish), my five different varieties of woodpeckers, and a random squirrel or two that wander through.

I showed Hubby some tracks south of the house that came out of the woods and came up to the downstairs patio, then wandered through the sleeping flowerbeds and back out. He said it looked to him like one "big-assed deer". He does have the gift of language, doesn't he?

Oh, I'll get caught up on my laundry today and probably start dragging out the Christmas decorations, but for the most part... I'm just gonna sit and enjoy the moment.