How You Know You Have a Big-Screen HD-TV

Him: I can't believe the picture on this!
Me: Uh huh
Him: Just look at that!
Me: Yep
Him: Look at the water!
Him: Look at their hair!
Him: Look at the colors!
Him: Look at how clear this is!
Me: You do realize you are watching a commercial, right?
Him:...

Workplace Hijinks

Where I work we have guys who run large equipment and drive trucks. This means the home office is very interested in any tickets you may get while operating a motor vehicle. Any motor vehicle. So, when you get a speeding ticket or some other type of ticket, they have a form you must fill out and submit to the home office.

This morning when I got to work the three office guys were standing in the outer office looking at a piece of paper and laughing. One of them handed it to me and asked if I could see anything wrong with it...

It had the guys' name. John Doe (names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent)
What the ticket was for: speeding, going 65 in a 55 zone
Where the ticket was received: blah blah blah
Why did you get the ticket: Because I was master-baiting and got carried away
The rest of the ticket is insignificant.

You have to know, the guy is a little bit uneducated, so the misspelling was logical.

The manager at my office had looked at the original sheet and it did NOT have that line on it... but when he went to fax it to the home office, he just picked up the photocopied version that was laying on top and sent it. Yes, the photocopied version had that line added - by one of the other smartasses in our office.

The vice president of the company called. Immediatly. Talked to our manager. Asked if he'd read this before he sent it. Yes, he replied. Did you read the whole thing? VP asked. Yes, he replied. Did you read the line where it asks why you got the ticket? Manager said, yes, it's blank... VP says, not on my copy...

Now we're waiting to see if the president calls. This may be a test of their sense of humor.
Needless to say, those of us here found it hilarious. But then, we do have rather warped senses of humor....

The Weekend of Unbelievable Laziness

Not quite jammie days... but close, very close. After playing around programming our exotic remote for our new TV on Friday, I did very little. That's hard work, you know! Saturday morning I was up bright and early because the satellite guy was coming to change out our unit for an HDTV unit. Amazement was mine as he appeared on my doorstep at 8:30 a.m. Normally, when they say they'll come between 8 and 12, you will see them at 1 or 2. He was very nice and got me all hooked up in less than an hour.

Off to the grocery store and library, then home to put said items away and let my pups run, I packed my bags (laptop) and headed to Manda's house for another full afternoon and evening of WoW. I admit it. I'm hooked. Badly. This is not funny... I don't usually even play games. Ugh. I'm hoping at some point I get tired of it and get my life back.

Yesterday was veggin' with the Hubby, WoW, and the big-tv. Almost nothin' better to do on a gray, cold, gloomy Sunday. The rain was spitting, turning to snowflakes, and back to rain... we had the fireplace going, the big TV on, munchies, cold beverages, the cats to cuddle, and I played WoW on my laptop while keeping one eye on what Hubs was watching and visiting with him. Was a great, relaxing day. Oh, of course I had some laundry to do all day, but that was no biggie... and I felt as though I accomplished something at least.

Good thing I can't play WoW at work! Then I'd never get caught up on my blogging... (you didn't hear that!)

In The Land of the Giants

We are now in the land of the giants. Hubby got his wish last night (not THAT wish... get your mind out of the gutter, people). Since we built this new house he's been wanting a big screen TV for the family room. He didn't whine or snivel... not once. Honest. He would just occasionally mention how nice it would be to have and maybe someday we could have one. Well, that day has come. As of last evening we are now the proud owners of a 52" Toshiba HDTV unit. To be delivered tomorrow. To then be painstakingly wired to several pieces of audio and video equipment. To then be watched endlessly for the next 20 years ...

He deserves this. He does. He works very hard 6 days a week, sometimes 7. He is up before 5 a.m. usually, and doesn't get home until after 6 p.m. - unless he's in the field at which time he may not get home until after 10 p.m.. He's a solid guy. He's a good family man. A good husband. He doesn't hang out at the bars, or chase women, or gamble (okay, farming itself is gambling but we won't go into that) and his main weakness is putting money and time into our youngest kids' stock car. He occasionally goes to one of his friends' shop and sits and has a couple of beers after work or maybe spends Sunday afternoon riding 4-wheeled vehicles in another buddys' timber. We don't go on vacation... for various reasons, mainly being we like it at home and we have too many critters that would have their lives disrupted if we were gone.

So? He has a nice truck. Good equipment. Good computers. Expensive internet. A subscription to WoW. All the movie channels you can get and then some. Nice stereo equipment.... and now? Now we have a big-fucking-screen TV. This is our vacation, people. We're packing our bags.

Insignificant Nonsense

I keep forgetting. Down there on the right, near the bottom, is a Bravenet guestmap. Only a couple of you have signed in, but I'd love to see where you all are at! Please go over and sign in so I can "see" ya!...

Thanks!

It's a Long Way Back up the Hill... or Yo-Yo Woman

The road to recovery has been a long uphill climb, and, as the title says, there are days I feel like a yo-yo! I just think I'm feeling better and along comes mr. migraine. (Yes, it's a man...no woman would make me hurt like this!) Yesterday was a lost cause. Once again I was flat on my back (relatively speaking) and out for the count. Today I'm back on my feet (or rather my butt) working. Will I be this way tomorrow? Only time will tell... but I sure hope so. Anyone but me get sick of being sick? Yeah... it's one thing to be off work, but when you feel yucky you really aren't interested in anything it really is just lost time. I don't have time to lose. Too much to do!

Thank you all for your warm thoughts and wishes. I've missed you guys!!! I can't wait until I get some time to catch up on all of you and see what I've managed to miss in your lives. I hope you didn't do anything TOO exciting while I was laid up! No babies birthed... no houses completed... no major traumas...

For those of you who want to suggest reading materials... Let me just say this: We have an excellent library. They are very good about getting in new material and have a great system of holds and/or being able to "rent" the newest books for $2. I have no complaints about my library. Despite my Hubby telling me they're going to run out of books. My problem is I read too damn fast. If I'm not interrupted, I can read a book a day - sometimes two. This causes problems when I'm sick and I've only checked out 10 books and my bookshelf is full, but it is full of books I've read. I want them to re-read someday, but I have to wait about 10 years until I can't remember the plots, otherwise I start to read and it all comes back to me. I usually only read mystery, some horror (i.e. Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Jeffrey Deaver) and a few fiction books that have some intrigue that should probably be classified mystery, but for some reason aren't. I'm not into sci-fi (I love Sci-Fi movies and shows, like Firefly, but can't read sci-fi... it's a missing link thing). I am soooo not into romance. I'm sorry, dress it up like a mystery and it's STILL a fucking romance. I can tell. It isn't that I'm not romantic... no, I like sex like the best of 'em... I just don't need the drama of it all. I apologize in advance to my friend who is a published romance novelist.

Soooo... if you have any suggestions that meet my criteria, feel free to tell me who the author is and I'll track 'em down. If I find authors I like, I try to read everything by them, and read them in chronological order. Most authors have a main character that they will build on and it's more fun to me to start at the beginning and see what they've got. You can either post your suggestions in the comments or e-mail me.

That's it for now. Thanks for stopping by and checking on me... I hope to be stopping by "your places" soon!

Things To Do in Iowa in the Wintertime When You're Sick

Ah, yes... I am in the land of the living! Barely... Will take me some time to catch back up with everyone, and I apologize for being bad in advance. In the meantime, I think you'll find the following observations to be fairly self-explainitory:

• Know that Charmin Ultra beats anything else ... uh... butts down.
• Be sure to have lots of paper products in the house for every orafice.
• If you want to lose 10 IQ points over the period of a week, watch any daytime TV (sorry, soap fans)
• There is no substitute for a pile of cats - preferrably purring
• If you sleep all day you will be up all night
• Full moons still suck
• Weird dreams get even weirder and involve family members, WoW characters, and blog friends - not necessarily in the same dream
• Anything you eat will probably be attacking within 30 minutes.
• When you think it can't get worse, it will
• When you think you're getting better, you aren't.
• When you go to work thinking you're cured, you will relapse.
• Being stuck in WoW when your family "tech support and stupid question team" are working is frustrating.
• Not being able to cuddle or kiss the spouse because you're afraid of contaminating him is the worst.
• When you start reading romance novels, you know you're out of books.
• Running out of books will make you certifiably insane.
• Going for four days without showering and having Hubby not mention it once: Priceless.

I'm sure I'll think of more... for now, it's just nice to be able to smile.

Blech

Just checking in. I'm here, I'm alive, just blechy... hoping it won't last more than the two days it's lasted already.

Thanks everyone for de-lurking! It's nice to know you're out there... even if most of you are known to me anyway. You guys are the best!

Back soon, I hope...

Once More...

I'm going to remind you that it's de-lurker week! I'm gonna post this on top for the rest of the week to (hopefully) prompt you to say "hi" and let me know who you are! So far, the only de-lurkers who have signed on are NOT lurkers! LOL! I can tell by my counter that there are more of you that are not taking credit for visiting, so please... pretty please... pretty please with sugar on top... pump up a gals' ego and let me know you're there!

For Christopher

my heart breaks

i see the pain in your eyes

the emptiness of tears unshed

bottomless sorrow of loss

i hold you but cannot touch

your grief

gone too soon from this world

your companion, your friend

your brother

life just beginning

with love

with child

taken in moments too quick

to discerne

leaving behind the questions

the rage

the tears

the memories.

New Linky Goodness

I'm a little lax in putting up my new links... some of these are people I've been secretly reading, but haven't gotten around to sharing and probably MOST of these are people you already knew because I found 'em through YOU! See how nicely that works?

DB (B'Tude's Guy) - Corporate Crap and Other Dubious Wisdom
Echo mouse
Kathleen - It's Only Life After All
Joe - Freudian Slips
Poppy Cedes
Kip (Kandy's honey) - The Hooded Lantern
Ryan, Darrell's son - His Shadow Paces the Floor
Steph - Small Adventures

Remember, if you go by tell 'em "Sue sent me"... I always love those looks of confusion until they figure it out.

Humor Me

I'm pushing the boundaries here, I know, but I have another little blog out there you might go by and peruse sometime. You know about The Dark Madness - it's the "dark" side of a happy life, this one IS about (for the most part) the happy life, and my third one is called The Torn Madness - the things that fall in-between. Come on over and visit sometime.

For A Friend

Today we are closing the office early and a carload of us are driving to Missouri to our friend and co-workers' hometown. They are having the visitation tonight for his brother and we intend on being there. It isn't much, but it's the least we can do. Thank you for your kind thoughts on his behalf.

Kansas Has Nothin' on Iowa

Hang on to your little dog, Dorothy... it's blowin' a mighty wind today! Sheesh! I'm not a huge fan of wind... (no pun intended) and it's really bad today. I'm guessing it's either a warm front coming or a cold front coming, I haven't really paid attention. Maybe that's it! The weather is trying to get my attention. I'd settle for an e-mail.

Friday the 13th

I'm wondering how many of you take this serious? Me? It doesn't really bother... except for the newscasters going on and on about it. Now, the fact that there is a full moon, well that's a serious issue. As you know, full moons irritate the shit out of me. I know, I know, Hubby tells me "the moon is always full, you just can't see it". Keep that to yourself, Hubs... you know as well as I do that it doesn't make one iota of difference. When the moon is full, weirdness happens.

The animals are restless. Inside, our cats wander around more at night and don't just sleep the sleep of the dead. I'm sure it's because with the bright landscape visible in extreme detail to their sensitive eyes, they're seeing all kinds of things they wish they could go out and kill. The puppies stir around more and rassle and grumble, confused as to whether it's really night or if I pulling some trick on them. The outside animals aren't much better. I hear neighbors dogs that sometimes bark awhile early on then quiet, continue their yelping and yowling far into the night.

I even heard some coyotes the other night when I had the puppies out before bed! ...and the hoot owls are in full force right now, too. Occasionally I can even look out on the bright full-moon-lit landscape and see deer walking through or other strange creatures who feel safe in raiding the birdfeeders in the night-time.

Me? I don't sleep worth a shit when the moon is full. It isn't just that it's bright, as I pull the shades and block it out as best I can. (I slept fine when the Christmas lights kept the bedroom glowing from all the extra lighting in the house, too!) It's something more... it's that pull of the tide thing... that water on my brain that must be sloshing to and fro to the tidal pull. I live how many miles from an ocean? In the middle of the country... hours away from oceans or other large bodies of water. (No, Onion Creek in my back yard does not count.) Somehow, it still gets to me. I have the weirdest dreams... recently composed of Hubby, George Clooney, my eldest daughter and Worlds of Warcraft. (Go figure.) Hubby always threatens to get out the tinfoil and make me a lovely hat to "block the rays"... uh huh.

So, tell me... does Friday the 13th mean any more to you than a bad movie? Or is it just one of those random superstitions to get us all stirred up...? Me? I'll just keep the tinfoil handy.

Duh.

I usually check comments the "old fashioned" way. I click on the comments box and peruse the contents... and try at times to leave a reply in the box. I am awed and amazed by the number of people who e-mail me after I've commented on their site, and being the techno-nerd that I am, I wanted to see how they did that. I have Haloscan for comments, but just have the basic account and never knew if I could do that. Well, guess what? I can... BUT...

I'm an idiot. I just started clicking and responding and smiling and waving and cheering and thinking I was doing such a great job until I got a response back from Andy today and realized...

I was mailing out responses on my work account.

Doh! See that dent over there on the desk? Yep... that's from me slamming my head into it. How could I be so stupid? I should have known better the first one that pulled up, 'cause I've got this cute little "signature" that says "Sue" in nice cursive lettering. That should have been the red flag to STOP. STOP NOW. Look at what account this is going through. SHIT.

So, those of you who got an e-mail from someone they didn't know, signed by "Sue" - (if you even opened it) - now you know. It was just your friendly confused techno-nerd.

I Hate Days Like This

Today has turned out to be a very sad day. Today one of my co-workers found out his little brother was killed in a car accident out-of-state.

I've told you all this before, but we're a small office in a big company. The main company is in another town about 60 miles away, so we're pretty much on our own at this site. Here we have four people in the office, including myself, and at full staff 5 or 6 out in the shop. Although I do work for the entire company, not just this location, this is the main group of people I interact with. We've gotten to know each other pretty well and in many ways have become a family outside of our families. Many of you can relate. I mean, we spend more time at work than at home, in most cases!

Also, I am the only woman. Because I am older than all but one of these men, I am teasingly called "Mom" - by my husband. The guys here don't call me that, but in lots of ways I do feel that way. Most all of them are young enough to be my kids! They often ask for advice or want to know how to do something that a woman would know and a man might not. I'm the one who doesn't always clean the toilet, but am usually the one that suggests when it needs it. I'm the one they come to when they want to talk about things not going right or what do you think of this for a wife/girlfriend gift? I'm handy. I'm here.

This poor co-worker is pretty young - still in his late 20's, so his brother was even younger. Married, with a new baby. My co-worker is very close to his family who pulled even closer this fall when his mother lost her second round battle with cancer. He has several brothers and sisters and they are spread out a bit, but based mainly in northern Missouri. When his dad called today to give him the news he was out of the office. The rest of us felt useless as we hovered around waiting for his father to call back later to tell him. We promised his dad we wouldn't be the ones to break it to him, but that we'd be here for him - he didn't want him to be alone when he heard. He and this little brother were closer than the rest and did many things together.

The call came when I was away at lunch. It was very difficult for the ones who were here to witness, knowing as they did what was going on. They didn't make him say it, they told him they knew. Men can be supportive, even when they feel they are not being good at it. I work with a great bunch of guys and they all have marshmellow hearts. I'm lucky that way.

He's gone home now. Home to talk to his wife and pack their bags for the long, sad, trek to Missouri. Our hearts go out to him...

It's WHAT?

De-lurker week? Has anyone else heard this?

So, if you're out there and you never let me know, do so, please... I'd love to know you're there.

Dear Co-Worker

It's not Suzy, Susie, Suza-bell, Suzy-cakes, Suzanna, Sweet-Sue, or any variation thereof you can think of. It's Sue. Or Susan, if you met me through my husband or parents.

My dear dead grandma and a few choice "older" relatives can get away with "Susie", just 'cause they knew me waaaay back then. Otherwise, please stick your silly name-calling where the sun don't shine.

We will now return to our regularly scheduled program.

Turn on a Dime

I'm just curious... How many of you bloggers have had your readers suddenly turn vicious on you? I've been lucky - it hasn't happened to me (yet) but I'm not naive enough to think it can't happen.

Recently, a blog friend of mine, Livey, got hit. Hard. I know of one other, Amy, who has gotten it too - for no clear reason that I can see. These women (in my opinion) are both sweet, loving, kind and generous and should in no way be getting this kind of response to their blogs.

I'm not sure why this disturbs me so much except that in my understanding we all make it clear these are our words, our thoughts and our feelings and we retain the right to free speech to say whatever, whenever, and however we wish. We might be joking or serious. We may rant and rave or brag and coo. Whatever we do it's ours. If someone doesn't agree or like what we have to say, why do they have to be so bitter and wicked? There is such a thing as constructive criticism... or, better yet, just leave! Are they trying to start a fight? Hurt feelings? I'd really like to know what is going through their minds.

The other thing that gets me with these kinds of responses is they are almost to a one, anonymous.... or, if they choose to leave a name, there is no link whatsoever back to them. They can dish it out but can't take it?

I know I'm probably too trusting. I've found some people out there in blogland that I've never met in person. I take their words pretty much at face value and fill in the blanks to match the picture I've made of them in my head. I feel a connection. I feel a friendship. I feel a need to care what happens to these people and what is going on in their lives is important to me. Are they blowing smoke up my ass? It's possible. Do I believe that? No. Naive? Probably.

Will this naive attitude cost me hurt feelings some day? Maybe. But for now I'll take that chance. At this point I can't see any of my regular readers turning on me in a fit of spite or rage one day, but I fear it's been done. Has it happened to you? I'm just curious...

I've Got a WHAT?!?!?!

Curfew? Me?

I must explain. As you all know, my lovely (and onry) daughter has gotten me into this online game thing. She warned me it was addictive. Do I listen? I'm 49-years-old. I'm a reasonably mature adult. I know my limitations. Right?

Let's just say, I'm going to my daughter's house tonight after work to play this game. They have two computers, one for herself and one for her Hubs. I'm taking my laptop so I can plug in on my own. My husband has threatened to set a curfew. Uh huh. He's joking, I know, but... it really IS that addictive. I have a feeling tonight could be a long one, primarily because I've been getting frustrated by having to ask my daughter questions all the time and that means either typing them into the chat screen, or speed-dialing her on the phone. Tonight? She'll be right there... hands on experience, people. Can't beat it!

Did I mention I'm an adult? Whoot!

Raise Your Hands...

...if you have your Christmas decorations all put away.

Don't see my hand, do ya? sigh

She's HIS Cat...

It's bad enough to have to be up at 5:25 a.m. in 20-degree weather with two Shih Tzus... but when I open the door to let them back in the house and this little scamp flies out the door, then proceeds to make me chase her all over the yard... well, let's just make it perfectly clear, she's Hubby's cat. I know you've all heard the story of how Cleo, Queen of the Raccoon Hunters (formerly O.C. for "Outside Cat") came to be in our home. She knows the story by heart. She knows who made the final decision to let her come inside. I don't know how, but she knows. Mostly the other cats are 50/50 in their love and attention to Hubs and myself. Sure, I'm the one that feeds them, waters them (most of the time - sometimes Hubby catches them staring at him and realizes through cat 'mind-control' that they are out), and changes their litter boxes. Cleo? She reserves small blocks of attention to me... but her all-out performances of silliness and affection are saved for him.

Not that she'll come inside any better for him. She has gotten out before when he's been home alone and he doesn't have much better luck getting her inside. However, for me? Well, as I say, I've just spent 30 minutes of my life I'll never get back chasing this friggin' kitty all over the yard. Grrrrr....

I'm not sure what it is about the call of the wild that is so persuasive. Three of our kitties have never been outside and don't even make the attempt. We have another older cat, Jammie, that was an outside farm cat at one time and she used to try and get out all the time. Occasionally she'd manage it - always either first thing in the morning or late at night when I was in my p.j.'s. They must have a sixth sense about that. Or a very good warped sense of humor. She would go just outside the house and hide in the overgrown evergreen bushes next to the house. Now, you could see her there, and she would meow at you, but do you think you could get to her? Hell no. You'd go to the front, where you could reach her, and she'd zoom to the back. So you go around the back and slide in back of the bushes, getting scratched and gouged for life, then she'd run and sit in under the front. Finally, you might get her scared by up on the porch where she'd go back in the house. Hubby used to say, "If she wanted to get away from you she could just run, but to her it's a game." Sorry, I don't wanna play.

Finally I got to the point where if it was really bitter cold out, I wouldn't even try to get her. I'd wait about 5 minutes and she'd be out on the step crying to get back inside. I'd try this with Cleo, but I'm just not sure how she's going to react and since we basically found her as a stray, I'm afraid she might just wander off. Too many bad things happen to kitties who wander off - especially now she's been declawed to be an inside kitty.

I love my kitties. All of them... but just remember. She's his.

See That Useless Night Elf?

Yep. That would be me. I'm officially a 'WoW' player now... don't applaud too loudly, I didn't say I was a GOOD player...

Last night turned out to be a bust. For everyone who has ever loaded five CD's worth of game on their four-year-old computer, plus six months worth of "patches" and "updates", then figured out you must not have the right video card and/or accelerator to make it work correctly. Well, that would be me. My daughter was here from 5 to 9 last night and we got absolutely no where. She was more dissapointed than I was, Ithink! She kept calling her husband who was at home, online, playing... asking questions and trying to figure out what we might be doing wrong. Guess nothing, 'cause today when I put it on my newer laptop it worked just fine. Go figure.

I played a bit today when hardly anyone was around to watch me standing, turning, running nowhere, and getting lost a lot. I had daughter on speed dial and called several times with questions. Tonight we were online together and she was trying to help me... I think I get the jist of it, I just keep getting lost. One of these days I'll figure out how to read the map!

Patience here is the key. I think I'm going to like it, once I get over the initial frustrations of moving correctly and learning where things are at. So far, so good.

On a totally different tangent - Manda made a character so she could come down to my level and play and help me a bit. She hadn't seen my character yet so was surprised to see the ESP still holding strong - she looked just like me!!

Tomorrow I'm staying home from work to get some bookwork finalized and delivered for our tax man. We'll see if I'm strong enough to stay away from this game until my work is finished... I can see where this could get addictive!

WoW... not Wow

You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

I don't know who said this, but I'm about to attempt to prove this is a lie. Tonight is the night. Tonight, I, a 49-year-old grandmother, will make my first foray into the "World of Warcraft" game.

I have to explain. I am a computer geek. I have been a computer geek since we got our first Atari game, and progressed quickly to a Commodore computer... and, barely able to contain our excitement, a Commodore 64. Finally my first PC. That was the pinnacle. Did I mention I'm a geek?

With all the computers I've had and torn apart and put together and spent hours and hours and hours typing on, I have a block. I don't know what causes it, but I can't play video games. Coordination issues? I'm not sure. It's just something I can't do. I've tried, honest...

This brings us to my Christmas gift from my eldest, Manda and family. She and her hubby have been hooked on this WoW game for several months, even going so far as to buy another computer so they can both be online playing at the same time. They have mega quanities of characters, and have friends they know in real life who they are playing against. Well, for Christmas, they got me the game. Tonight, Manda is coming over to help me get set up in their "guild" and create a character and to hopefully show me some tips to keep me from being a total zero when I get online.

I'm skeptical. She and Hubs and my eldest son who also plays WoW, keep telling me this is something I can do. I'm not sure they understand my block. They were raised on video games and to them it's second nature. Me? Old dog.

I'll let you know how it goes. Woof.

I Miss Her

There is something to be said for children leaving home and gaining independence. It is a mark of adulthood and maturity and growing. I'm talking about ME, people... I hate it. I'm not good at adulthood and maturity and growing. I want my kids and I want them here and I want them now! (Glad I got that out of my system, whew!)

Yesterday we had a wonderful birthday dinner/celebration for my grandson. His parents made a delicious chicken with rice stew and we had rolls - and, of course, cake and ice cream. They made it all and brought it to our house where we have a little more room to sprawl. It was a wonderful time full of family and laughter... overshadowed by that nagging hole where Em and her hubs should be. It just doesn't seem right somehow to have things like this without them. I know children grow and due to job opportunities or just a desire to experience new things, they move away from the places they have lived all their lives. I do understand this. Okay, my head understands this. But my heart? My heart is fickle. It wants to put a leash on every one of them and say, "this is your boundary"... "you may not be more than one hour away from me at any time". Foolish, I know.

Perhaps if I were the woman who had constant battles with her kids and frustrations to end all frustrations. Perhaps if I were the one who moaned everytime I heard they were coming and felt I had to clean my house to within an inch of it's life before they stepped into the door. Perhaps if I were the kind of person who demanded they do every little thing I told them to do and expected they live their lives exactly how I wanted them to, with little regard to their happiness or peace of mind. Perhaps if I was the woman who could never say "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong" or "boy, did I ever screw that up".... or "I love you". In that case, maybe this wouldn't feel like such a huge emptiness when the circle isn't complete.

I don't demand that my children come when they're called. I have no "command performances" for them to appear at magically with their best foot forward. I relish every moment I have with them, be it a quick phone call or e-mail or sharing their lives on their blogs. I treasure the times they can be here, laughing or crying or pouting or whining... I accept them in all shapes and sizes and forms. When they are here, the smiles are bigger and the feelings run closer to the surface. The moments of quiet reflection are spent trying to send them thought waves of love... just love. To see them all sitting around the table, enjoying each other's company is a blessing that not all families share and I take those moments and tuck them away to enjoy when they have all gone home.

Somehow, when there is even one of them missing, though... it just doesn't seem right and complete. I hope someday I can be more grown up about it. I hope I can mature. For now? Let's say it's gonna be awhile before that day comes.

Happy Birthday, Sweetie!

Today is my grandsons' birthday. He's eight. Remember being eight? I do, but it sure wasn't like this! Kids today grow up soooo fast. He's such a smart little guy. (We may be a tad bit biased...?)He's got the biggest smile... check it out at his momma's website. He has a great sense of humor, and is so polite. We tease his "mother" (which is what he calls her) that he's a robot! He's a kid, don't get me wrong... but he's rarely in trouble and all it takes is one look (most husbands know 'the look') and he straightens right up.

Raising him alone after a divorce, he and his mom forged a very strong bond. After my daughter re-married a wonderful man, the three of them have created a terrific family unit full of love, respect and laughter. Not always an easy union, they share their sons' time with the ex-husband, because as most of you who are divorced and have children know... that's the right thing to do. They keep it civil for grandsons' sake, and I'm so very proud of all three of them for making it work. I'm thrilled that my daughter took a page out of my book and has been the "bigger" person to keep it all going along well.

This little guy means the world to us, his family... all his aunts and uncles love him to pieces, and all of the various grandparents, step-grandparents, and extended family think he's the best. Some day he may have to share the limelite with something other than a "critter", but for now he's the one and only... and will always be one of a kind. We love ya, sweetie... Happy Birthday.

An Evening in the Company of ... Goodness!

Last night proved to be a great beginning to the New Year. Hubby and I were invited to dinner at our eldest sons'. Due to logistics, the dinner was actually held at his girlfriends' apartment, a warm and inviting place made more so by the little homey touches she had tucked here and there. A crackling fire, lovely scented candles here and there, and pictures of family all lent itself to relaxation.

Not to gush, but they really do make a cute couple. They cooked the most supurb dinner for us, complete with appetizers, cold beverages, and good conversation. Watching them working together in the kitchen as they kept bringing out treat after treat, was in itself a delight. It was a time to get to know this young woman better, away from the normal hectic scene when the whole family gets together and she is more observer than participant.

The food, the company, the ambiance... it was all terrific. We're looking forward to more experiences like this.